


horny rocks in space (now with 97% more gay)

by aestheticrevolucion, psychedelicbubblegum



Series: queer concentrate [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 1950’s Fetish (because that’s a thing), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bare-backing, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Face-Sitting, Fetishism, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Forced Masturbation, Garters and Stockings, Lesbian Sex, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Power Bottom, Restraints, SU - Freeform, Sensory Deprivation, Sexual Roleplay, Top Service, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, bellow diamond - Freeform, gay rocks, gayyy, isnt mainly sex, later parts inspired by airandangel’s Holly Blue Agate fic, mostly fluff but idk what other tags should go here, not that they weren’t hoping for it anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:45:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 62
Words: 36,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14836269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestheticrevolucion/pseuds/aestheticrevolucion, https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychedelicbubblegum/pseuds/psychedelicbubblegum
Summary: Being married to a depressed housewife with a penchant for emotional outbursts and referencing memes on the regular isn’t easy. Neither is being married to a bitchy businesswoman. I guess you can’t complain when you’re horny rocks in space (now with 97% more gay)





	1. passin’ me by

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pappillon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pappillon/gifts).



“So, Yellow, do you have anything to add?” White had asked. She had just briefly returned from one of her colonies, and she was utterly upset by the result of the Trial. Yellow had been staring into oblivion for the past hour-and-a-half, and was barely coherent enough to answer the question. “Based on the current data...” Yellow began, searching for her train of thought. “Boobs.” Her eyes centered right below Blue’s gem, and directly at an area of interest.

White’s nostrils flared, and with a swift exhale - that nearly sent her Pearl sputtering - she recomposed herself. “What did you just say?” “Nothing Blue hadn’t stated already. I mean, that description was just...detailed, yes. Captured everything perfectly.” Yellow scrambled together fragments rapidly. “It’s settled, then. Meeting adjourned.”

 

Yellow rushed off to attend to some urgent business in her quarters. “Blue, stay a minute, will you?” White furrowed her brow, shooing their Pearls away. “We’ve talked about this.” White rose, her posture was poised but incredibly intimidating.

“I don’t see any harm in dressing this way.”-

“Of course you don’t, because you’re not thinking about it like I am. If we want to maintain this authority and power, we must refrain from giving into temptation.” White said, placing a firm grip on Blue’s shoulder. “I haven’t-“

”I know you haven’t, Blue. But to continue this...this...blasphemy would turn Yellow to sin. How can we be the epitome of righteousness and paragons of perfection when the people see us the way we see them?” she mused. “We can’t.” Blue whispered. “See to it that we don’t.” White dismissed her, and fixated her eyes upon the stenographer’s ramblings.

This had been a hasty trial. And the worst was yet to come.

-

Blue descended down a thousand stairways and across a million halls before reaching her quarters. “I do not wish to think about this any longer, Pearl,” she said, fetching a nightgown from her armoir and a tiny one as well. “Run a bath, will you?” Her Pearl flitted into the chambers, struggling to lift the bath-bomb. Blue followed, and hadn’t closed the doors behind her.

-

I was perched upon Yellow’s shoulder, when she whispered for me to peek through the keyhole. I climbed back up to her ear, and informed her that I couldn’t see anything but smoke. “You’re sure?” she asked, pushing the door open slightly. “Blue, are you alright?” Yellow called out softly to her. Nothing. She backed into the chamber door, slowly swinging it open. Blue and her Pearl laid face down into the motionless black water. Yellow picked up an unburnt stick of incense and repeatedly poked Blue in the head. “Are you alive?” She asked. “The fuck does it look like?” Blue raised her head from the murky water. “I only came to tell you I’m leaving. Business to attend to. You know how colonies are.”

  
“See you.”-

  
Yellow rose to leave, but briefly turned back as if there was something she had wanted to say, but decided against it. “Let me know if you need anything while I’m out.”

  
“I will.”


	2. you’re not the one

Yellow Diamond had left approximately 2 hours, 17 minutes, and 32 seconds ago. And Blue had been summoned already. She shifted anxiously, before hurrying over to White’s quarters.  _Always_  to White’s quarters. “You called?” 

  “It appears that we have the whole base to ourselves for the weekend,” White mused, thinking herself a tasteful Frollo to Blue’s Esmeralda. Blue gazed at White’s back and began walking towards her out on the balcony. “Would you mind if I stayed home tomorrow?” Blue asked, trying to stare past White’s pallid pupils. “Depends on how well you do tonight,” she smirked in response, guiding Blue to her knees. Running her fingers through B’s hair, coaxing her towards a false sense of security. A tug or two when her teeth got in the way, just to keep her on her toes before sliding her entirety down Blue’s throat. “Mmmh,  _Good girl,_ ” she murmered, petting her in a demeaning but equally demanding way. It was like something you’d see in a cheesy porno. Or some European book that romanticizes rape. 

Something fell, in the hallways, probably. Enough to cause Blue to open her eyes prematurely. It was easier to pretend you weren’t someplace when you can’t see anything. She had mastered that technique for millennia, it seemed. “I trust that after I eliminate this distraction, I’ll have your undivided attention?” White had walked towards the door, leaving Blue to set their next encounter elsewhere. “I don’t see anything. Must’ve been the wind.” White shrugged. Blue had rose, and with an exhausted look in her eye, began to speak.

    “Can we do this another time? It’s just-“-

White sauntered towards her, smirking sadistically. She wrapped her hands around Blue’s neck, leaving her gasping for air. “It’s just what?” she began, angrily. “ _Yellow_ filling your head with new ideas? Asking for your opinion? Giving you choices? - Doesn’t she see how this has failed you both before? Does she  _want_ you to get hurt again?” She unclenched her grip, caressing the bruised area. “You don’t want to end up like Pink,  _Do You?”_  Blue shook her head, her eyes glistening lightly. “ _Good girl,”_ White caressed her cheek, laying her down. “I know you don’t see it now, but I only want what’s best for you.” 

 

 

 

 


	3. the way we were (pt.1)

(flashback // Blue’s POV)

 

“Can it be that it was all so simple, then?” the Earth device resonated within my soul. Someone had called it a record-slayer. I didn’t see anyone die, though. Maybe it was theme music for a battle or something. Music.  _Music._ That had been something Pink had loved. And because she loved it, and I loved her, I loved it too. Yellow locked herself in her quarters and hasn’t come out since- oh, how long has it been? It’s been several weeks, but it’s felt like forever since I’ve seen her. They didn’t have the decency to return her remains, but for some reason I’m not...angry? I just feel...empty, and I don’t think anything could make me whole again. 

“Or has time rewritten every line?” Pearl? Oh she used to love this song, but now she paces back and forth meticulously. She’d  had grown increasingly anxious since- Mine and Yellow’s used to love her like we did. I mean, they  _really_ loved her, you know? I remember when Pink was just the tiniest thing, and had just started floating, the Pearls used to dots on her more than I did. And I can’t remember a single time I’ve ever told her ‘No’. And they’d let her fly them around for a bit at the Zoo. Oh, she loved the zoo. She loved everything, really. Anything new and never seen before, anything one of her colonies had invented she was instantly enamored by. And because she loved them, and I loved her, I loved them too.

 

”And if we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, Could we? Would we?” - I would give  _everything_ to have her back, even for a second. When she was little, on nights like these, she’d stir from the storm, so we’d stay at Yellow’s for the night. When the lights shut down and the thunder boomed outside, out of habit, I glanced towards her old room. I couldn’t keep surrounding myself with things of hers and expect myself to get over it. I had wandered into the hallways, which became a crossroads of sorts. Yellow wouldn’t want to see  _me_ of all people. I headed towards White’s room, and before I had the chance to knock, she called “Enter.” 

 

She he had been watching the storm from her balcony. Musing about finding beauty, passion, and intimacy in the chaos. We stood beside eachother, silently, watching everything unfold before us. She held me for a while, like Yellow used to, but a bit differently. I shuddered from the cold. I wrapped my robes tighter, but that wasn’t helpful. Perhaps I was shivering. Or sobbing internally. Whatever the reason, I shook violently, silently beside her. She ran her fingers through my hair and caressed my back, lightly. I calmed, and slowed my breathing to match hers until I had stopped shaking. _”Good girl,”_  she whispered into my forehead.

**I had not yet come to realize that she was nothing like Yellow. At all.**


	4. try to remember (pt.2)

(flashback // Yellow’s POV)

 

”Turn it off. Immediately. I don’t know what compelled you to do so, Pearl, but I will not have this-“ I commanded. She huffed, pausing the slayer. I still haven’t got a clue why it’s a misnomer. As soon as I turned to stare at the reports, she started it back up again, before flitting away. “What’s too painful to remember, We simply choose to forget,” the device sang. 

 

I remember hearing this before. Pink heard it once on Earth and fell in love with it. Had Blue sing it on nights like these. On nights like these, they’d stay and we’d- I’d ask my Pearl if Blue were coming. Not because I care, or anything. But for old time’s sake, you know. She needs support in times like these. Pink used to love - what was it? ‘snuggling’? she had always used such weird words. I’m sure they could’ve stayed home, but Blue did her best to include me in things. Pink wasn’t even ours, but it was like she was  _ours_ , you know? She really loved Blue. I mean,  _really_ loved her. And because she loved Blue, and I loved her, I loved Blue too. At least, I think I did. But now, how would I- _If I cared_ , I mean, how would I fix things? Feels like all we do now is fight. And avoid eachother.  _Fuck,_ I hate having to avoid her. She’s the kind of Gem you can do anything with. Blue adapts. She hated fighting, but she’d let me go on and on about it anyways. White? White can’t hold a conversation without mentioning her power, her might, or how organized her colonies are. She doesn’t play games - not that I do, but there’s literally nothing to do around here bar creating and destroying and shit. And that’s all she  _ever_ wants to do. But anyways...how could I even bring myself to say something to her? How could I - what was that Earth expression? ‘Catch her flies with honey?’ Would I need to get some honey from Earth? - Mental Note:  send Pearl, we wouldn’t want to voluntarily interact with Stevonnie and those...what did Peridot call it? Clogs? No, Clods! I have promised not to kill anyone for now - so I guess I won’t. For now, at least....

 

 


	5. ocean eyes

_al_ “My most luminous and lustrous Diamonds, my Diamond was unable to attend this morning’s meeting, but she truly sends her warm regards, most benevolent, most mercifu-“ White’s Pearl began. “Cut to the chase, Pearl.” Yellow rolled her eyes, searching for a reaction from Blue. The inconspicuous banter had often been the most entertaining aspect of these meetings. “My Diamond has left you both in charge, and has ordered me to take hourly reports of your progress. I do hope you can prove yourself to be useful in more than one way, Blue.” White’s Pearl snorted. And to think, that bitch referred to My Diamond as if she was some...some ordinary Ruby!

“Are you alright, Blue? You look even more miserable than usual.” My Diamond smirked, searching for a response.

 

“I’m fine.” she blinked. “Yesterday, you didn’t have on all that god-awful eyeliner, and weren’t wrapped in a shroud.” ”I’m fine.” Blue declared, turning to leave. Yellow placed a firm hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to console her, figuring this was about Pink again. Blue flinched, drawing back, and unraveling a few of her robes at the neck. The outer edge of her bruises peeked through. Yellow raised a questioning eye, assuming that this had been a hickey. And that White had already- “It’s nothing.” she winced. “Doesn’t look like nothing to me,”

Yellow had a hard time expressing things without appearing nosy and over-invested. “Hickeys shouldn’t hurt that badly - let me put something on it. It could get infected it if she broke the skin.” My Diamond said, softly. She could be caring, when she tried. If not just a teeny bit over interested in any and all things involving Blue. “It’s nothing.” Blue replied, sternly. “I’m not doing this because I care or anything, it’s just the logical course of action…” Yellow rambled, signaling for me to remove the layer covering the rest of her bruise. I flitted up to Blue’s neck, unnoticed, revealing the scar that circled around her neck repeatedly. As the scarf hit the floor, My Diamond clenched her fists and straightened her posture.

 

“Does she do this often?” “This is exactly why I haven’t said anything before,” “This has happened before?” Yellow led Blue to her quarters, walking the entire way in silence. “Do you- Is she- Does this happen when I’m around?” Yellow asked, finally breaking the silence. She unlocked her door, sitting Blue down on her settee. “No. It’s- it’s not something you could’ve known about. She hasn’t gone this far before,” she rasped, her voice still hoarse from the events of the previous evening. Yellow smeared salve around the scratch marks, making sure she hadn’t pressed too hard.

She _could_ be gentle when she tried. “Pearls,” she called to us. “Yes, My Diamond?” I replied. “Fetch her some tea.” she commanded, sending us both off. Then, Yellow rose, and tore apart her closet, searching for a specific item. “I believe this used to suit you well. Or at least, I liked it.” After Blue an oversized flannel of hers, she turned to leave. “Thank you, Yellow. It’s- it’s nice to have you back again,”

 


	6. you must love me

“You don’t have to go, Yellow,” Blue called out to My Diamond. “This is your home after all.” she glanced towards her, gathering her robes and the flannel shirt. “It was yours once, too. And you have every right to be here.” Yellow said, clasping her hands. “I’ll check on the Pearls while you change.” Yellow said, already in the ‘kitchen’ of sorts. Blue unfastened several belts belts before removing the mass of fabric surrounding her. The rippled pool of blue fabric stay at her feet, as she pulled Yellow’s old shirt over her head. She buttoned most of them, leaving some breathing room. Pulling her hair back was the first step. Then putting her stuff away. Slowly bringing herself back to reality. Gradually getting over this.

 

She had started to pick up everything Yellow had cast astray before noticing a towering figure behind her. “I’m just trying to help out,” Blue picked up a pile of identical trench coats. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of it in a minute.” Yellow reassured her. “I’m not like, suddenly unfit to take care of myself.” Blue fussed, hanging them back up. “I’m not treating you like you are. I’m treating you like I don’t want you to strain yourself. It’s the only-“ Yellow began. “Logical course of action,  _I know._ ” She continued to fix things, before Yellow picked her up, carrying her, bridal-style, back to the setee. “Pearls!” she called, - interrupting our eavesdropping session. “Yes, My Diamonds?” I twittered, heading towards them with a cart containing the kettle. “Thank you, Pearls.” she smiled, dismissing us politely. “Leave us.” Yellow shooed. “This is most unnecessary, Yellow,” Blue said, sipping the fragrant mixture of herbs and berries. “Just let me take care of you for once.” My Diamond sighed, encompassing Blue in several blankets. “It’s like you said before - ‘what’s the use in feeling?’ when it’s not solving anything?” she sighed. “This is different. ~~You~~ We can change the present and the future. When White returns, she won’t be able to deny the physical evidence.” 

“I’m not convinced that that’s necessary at all.”

 

”Then at least come with me, when there’s issues with the colonies. She won’t have the opportunity to hurt you again.” Yellow suggested. “Fine. Please don’t say anything to White about this,” she said. “I won’t.” Yellow replied, heading into her bathroom and running the shower. Blue rested her eyes, and eventually lulled herself to sleep. When Yellow returned, she laid beside her, holding her closely. 

-

I was watching with Blue’s Pearl in the kitchen. “We should do that, sometime,” I mused. “Gems don’t need to sleep.” she replied stoically. “You okay?” I asked. “She usually sends me off on errands when White summons her. I mean, she hadn’t said anything, and I-“ Pearl began. “ _Summons?_ __When I get my hands on White Pearl, I’ll - I’ll-call her a clod!” - “Oh, don’t say such things, Pearl,  what if she told White?” Pearl gasped. “But she’s _evil_!” I whined, ever so dramatically. “But if you got shattered, who would I talk to?” - i think she likes me, she really likes me 


	7. somebody that I used to know (pt 1.)

“I am honored to announce that  _My Diamond_ has arrived,” White’s Pearl smirked. I can’t wait till I get my hands on her! -It had been around midnight, 11:57 p.m. precisely, and White had just returned from her latest misadventure. Yellow nudged Blue, slightly. “ _She’s_ back.” Blue rose, gathered her robes, and they both ventured into the throne room. “Darlings, I’ve just returned from the most  _wonderful_ rebellion on Xolixali Prime. You should’ve seen their faces when I ascended. And the apocalypse was just the most  _quaint_ ice-age. You would’ve  _loved_ it, Yellow,” she beamed. 

“My Diamond,” I whispered. “They need you immediately on Colony 17 - B. There’s been some more earthquakes, and nearly three-fourths of the main city’s destroyed.” - “It appears I must take my leave, White. But I’m sure you’ll tell me  _all_ about it when we return.” My Diamond headed towards the dock, Blue following closely behind. 

 

White grabbed Blue’s wrist, causing Yellow to stop dead in her tracks. “I do realize my behavior was beyond uncalled for, Blue. I  _do_ hope we can move on from this. You know I didn’t  _mean_ to, it’s just...” White susurred so Yellow couldn’t hear her. “We can discuss this when we return,” Blue stated, coldly. “ _We?_ ” 

Yellw turned to face them, “Since Blue’s colonies haven’t rebelled recently, I figured employing some of her tactics could prove useful in crushing such events.” she said, pleased with her plan. “I hadn’t considered that - I belive I shall do the same,” White smiled, switching her hips, away. She never dismissed anyone respectfully. Always graceful.  _Too graceful_. 

-

“She probably won’t do it again,” Blue said, as White helped her up the stairs. “Probably isn’t good enough for me.” 

“We both know why you’re doing this. You don’t have to pretend like you care, or anything.”

”And what would make you think that this is a ruse - do you think I’m like  _her_?”

”I don’t believe you are. But you must have some motivation behind this.”

”You think I’m trying to get in your pants? - I’m not  _that_ desperate anymore.”

Blue smirked, before deciding on a way to address the elephant in the room. 

“I think you’re trying to get  _something_. I don’t believe that’s what it is, though.”

”We haven’t had a normal conversation in milenia, and the first thing you bring up is -“

“You’re avoiding it. It  _will_ come up again eventually. Why can’t we just discuss it now?”

”Pearls, leave us.” Yellow instructed, walking Blue to their old room. 

“Don’t you think I have better things to do?”

”It’s  _okay_ to feel for once, Yellow.”

”I  _do_ have feelings - but there’s no point in-“

”Acknowleging that you were her-“

”I  _know_ what I was to her, and to you. I don’t know why you have to bring it up when things are finally back to normal again.”

”You call _this_ normal? - Firing nearly every gem onboard so you could grieve alone is normal? Shutting me out when I tried to reach you is normal? Your own  _Pearl_ has to be careful not to step all over your ego before having a conversation with you. Is that normal to you?”

”You don’t think I think about her, too? That things are different between you and me because  _I_ haven’t wanted to talk about it?”

”I wish you would just talk to me, Yellow.”

Me and BP were right behind the door, and we couldn’t hear anything. Silence. They were probably staring with Sailor Moon Eyes and glistening anime bodies. BP thinks they were making out. That would be kinda kinky tho.

 

”Can I show you something?” Yellow signed. - I’m guessing this was not her dick. :/

Blue nodded, following her down the hall. 

 


	8. someplace only we know (pt.2)

“Y-You still have this?” Blue asked, with her dewy anime eyes. They stood in front of a pink playroom, filled with dolls and warships, and a teeny array of pink gowns. “Of course I do,” Yellow smiled internally. “Oh, she used to  _love_ it when you read this one to her,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around Yellow, and pointing to a picture-book. They sat down on Pink’s former canopy bed, pulling out a scrapbook. “I remember when she drew this-“ Blue giggled. “She was  _obsessed_ with boobs then.” 

“And when we went to Earth for the first time -“

”And on White’s birthday-“

”And when Holly Blue gave her that-“

They sat in there for hours, reminiscing about their past. Our past, I guess too. I still kinda ship them, tho. 

(don’t tell White I’ve been reading her diary. And writing some  _juicy_ fanfiction)


	9. nice & slooow

“Could we come here more often?”Blue asked, holding the scrapbook a little  _too_ tightly. “Of course we can, I mean, I do have  _actual_ rebellions to crush and worlds to save, but anything here is just as much mine, as it is yours.” Yellow said, rising.

“You don’t have t-“ 

“You used to live here once,  _too_.” 

“It’s been thousands of years, Yellow. I’m sure you haven’t missed things that much. Not nearly enough to fix something that wasn’t your fault in the first place.”

”And hypothetically speaking, what if I did?” 

\- I  _totally_ called it. “They’re  _so_ gonna bone-“ I teased, whispering to BP, “ _What_ did you say?” Yellow hissed, squirting her eyes, and pinching my ear. I’m pretty sure BP smiled for a split second, but it’s hard to tell underneath her bangs. “Seems we have  _business_ to attend to,” My Diamond seethed, dragging me by the ear back to her rooms. I’m pretty sure she’d take away my phone and make me stop going on tumblr so much. “Pearl.” she inhaled the maximum amount of air possible before releasing her embarrassment. “I  _know_.” I groaned. “This is the fourth lock this month. Would you  _ **stop**_ already? And this toomblur? Tumblr? obsession of yours needs to end.” she scolded. “They’re  _your_ fantasies, not mi-“ “We’ll discuss this later.And no more fanfiction. What do you always say? - that is some fucked up shit.” My Diamond sighed, dismissing me. She can change the lock as many times as she wants, but leaving it out is practically  _asking_ for a smut blog. She headed back towards Pink’s old playroom. Blue was eyeing a painting of the three of them, feeling the canvas and all its intricacies. “My apologies, Blue, it seems she _still_ hasn’t learned her place. “Mm. It seems you haven’t been compelled to teach her.” She noted.

“And you believe this is a failure on my part?”

“Mm. I never said it was a bad thing. They, of all gems, should have the opportunity to express themselves freely. It would be _most_ unfortunate if we were to close them off completely from emotion.” 

“Emotions complicate issues.”


	10. all the stars

“Being _emotionless_ creates issues,” Blue turned towards her, dramatically. 

“Speaking from experience, _are we_?”

“I’m not blaming you, Yellow. We  _both_ had a role in...” Blue began, trailing off to pick up a crumpled slip of paper. “ _This._ ” she straightened it out, revealing the intricate blends and meshes of colors. A yellow giraffe-looking thing with spines was screaming at a blue tree, and in between both of them was a pink stick figure. Things hadn’t always been as perfect as they had recalled. Seven Sketchbooks worth of arguments outside Pink’s door, in the control room, and at the Zoo. Blue placed the picture back in its folder, sighing. A radiant azure aura encompassed her, as she held the wall for support. Yellow reached towards her, ensuing a questioning gaze. Yellow wrapped her arms around Blue, but maintained a firm stance, holding her. This was the first time since Pink’s death that they had actually - “My Diamond,” I entered the room, awkwardly. “We’ll breach the atmosphere within the hour” - “ _Pearls,_ leave us. - and Yellow?” “Yes, my  _luminous_ Diamond?” I sneered. “Start a distraction. A delay, if you will. I will alert you if plans change, but as of late, we will not ascend.” - “ _Yes,_ my Diamond.”

 

”You should go.”

”But being emotionless creates issues, doesn’t it? -  Besides, I wouldn’t want to keep stuck in here all day.” 

“You’re not _leaving_  me. You’ve never abandoned me in my life.” 

“I don’t plan on doing so in the future. But I’ve never let you fester either. And you can’t go out amongst the people this way.”

”But I don’t want to keep  _feeling_ this much, Yellow. And I don’t want to stay inside for the next thousand years.”

”Then  _don’t_ \- when you’re ready, you can. And until then, you have all of the facilities available to you.”

” _What_ could I possibly want to do here?” 

“A game of Life? - it’s been  _ages_ since we’ve played.”

”When you return,” Blue began, cupping Yellow’s cheek, whispering something in her ear. They had always been the type for little inside jokes. And innuendos - when Pink was younger, she’d always repeat everything she did. Once, she even- she even- she... pinched Blue’s ass during one of White’s meetings. You should’ve seen her face, it was  _glorious._ _ ****_ **** ****\- even more so than Yellow’s rbf. Yellow had exited Pink’s playroom, and regained her composure, heading onto her colony immediately. She hadn’t missed the fact that I hid inside a cup of pens. “ _Pearl._ \- this  _content_ \- does not belong on your Story!” 


	11. message in a bottle

Yellow had exited the ship, transporting herself onto the planet’s sulfurous surface. Three-Sevenths of the mine had been flooded, and thousands had been lost. Clouds coated the sky for months on end, yet the suns burned hotter and brighter than ever before. All of the water had dried, leaving the very fabric of the planet in disarray. The survivors had successfully relocated to the upper levels, but clearly this had impacted morale. 

 

She returned promptly. “Back so soon?” Blue smiled. 

“Not quite. Apparently it was worse than we thought. The initial reports didn’t account for the missing.”

”Mm.”

” _Mm_?”

”As in, _Mm_ , what are we going to do about this?”

”Mm. Decrease hours and maintain a .43% increase in rations. Followed with necessary medical care, of course.”

” _Mm, no.”_

 _”_ What do you mean ‘Mm, no?’” 

“I  _mean_ , if you worked there, what would you want to hear?”

”What my Diamond was planning on doing about it.”

”And, if you worked there, wouldn’t you want your experience to be known? So conditions can be improved?”

”Of course. I shall send out the appropriate e-mail as soon as they regain WiFi.” 

“You do realize you have to actually  _talk_ to people, right? Connect with them. Be their Diamond when they need y-“

”Enough of  _that”_

”What? - _I_ thought it was what the kids call: **’mad catchy** **, my good man’** ”


	12. riptide

”Pearl?” Yellow called. “Yes, My Diamond?” I called, taking my rightful place on her shoulder. “Prepare to ascend.” 

 

She walked to the portal, and within moments had teleported to the surface. The people had gathered around in awe of her magnificence. She walked slowly, taking in the destruction before her. She took a knee, searching through the crowd for a familiar face. I rested my hand upon her, humming. “This...” she began, gesturing towards the ruins, “marks a tragedy. It marks sacrifice. And it marks many failures...But remains a beacon of hope for us. It remains a sign of changing times, and a need for adaptation. We must rebuild. We will reunite, and We shall overcome,” she paused. “Victims, Witnesses, and their families, you have the power to enact this change. It will be up to you to determine your fate.” Yellow reached into her pocket,  removing something reminiscent of a seed. She removed her gloves, dug deep into the soil, and planted the mysterious black object. After covering it, with a flash of her fingers, hundreds of drones began dropping things onto the ground. “For the seventy dead, seven hundred more gems are to be created. For the wounded, hospitals constructed, and for those unharmed, well, we need all the help we can get.” 

The people cheered, surrounding her legs and feet as if she were a shrine of immaculate conception. 

\- - - 

The next several days were spent on constructing homes and jobs for those who had lost them. Hospitals and cemeteries for the deceased, and a barricade to prevent this from occurring again. When she had returned, Blue had waited, with a thousand and one questions. They had both taken it upon themselves to change the role of the Great Diamond Authority. And would quickly find out that White was not having it.


	13. In Illusions of Order (pt.1)

“WhaT iS thE mEaNInG oF ThIS???” White shrieked, slamming her tablet on the countertop. 

“Of?” Yellow raised an eyebrow. 

“Yellow Diamond’s Strategy: How the GDA is Doing it’s Job For Once  _—_ a  _delightful_ little article, written by none other than Pink Chalcedony.”

”Who?”

”...Crazy Lace” White sighed, facepalming. “Yet again, another sign of insolence from Pink’s Former gems. They should  _all_ be shattered.” she paused. “What do you propose as an alternate solution, White? In the instance that there’s a difference in opinion.” Yellow knew  _exactly_ how to get under White’s skin, undermining her authority without disregarding her character. “I propose a Trial,” Blue leaned on her arm, most uninterested in this matter. “Mmm, yes. A Trial would be  _most enthralling_ , don’t you think, Yellow?” White smirked. “I suppose that would be an appropriate measure. Set a date, and we’ll be there.” “No time like the present,” White pressed several buttons on her keypad, raising a panel in the floor, and dimming the lights. 

“State your name,” I called from the stenographer’s box. A frightened gem, curled into a fetal position.

“M-My name? I-I’m-“


	14. Miserable At Best (pt. 2)

“P-Pink Chalcedony” the figure mumbled. “Opening statements from the prosecution,” Blue Pearl called. I’m pretty sure she was doin that tongue thing, and was like ‘hey daaaaaaaaady’ but to me, not that _Zircon_ , obviously. I mean, when I say I’m  _pretty sure,_ I’m pretty fucking sure. If it weren’t for her Disney Channel Original emo bangs, I could’ve like definitely spotted it from a mile away. She coughed, awkwardly. It was weird to stare at her hairline for that long, but honestly, that’s how you know you’re in love, you know? I mean-“Pearl.” Yellow said with a firm tone. This would be so much easier if I could just figure out where her diary is. Then  _I_ wouldnt have to do so much thinking.

 Laurel Zircon (Green had been....poofed a year ago) began with the traditional ass-kissing that all trials require.My most luminous,” they bowed to Yellow. “My most lustrous,” they bowed to Blue - which ensued in a dramatic eye roll (a la Basketball Wives) from Yellow. “And my most luminescent Diamonds,” they beamed at White. “It is my honor to represent thee-“ 

 

“Laurel?” Yellow called. 

“Yes,  _My Diamond_ ,”they were enjoying this too much.  _Zircon_ ’s are always kissing ass. Seriously though. (All of them have this  _disgusting_ webcam show, and  _ugh_ you would not believe what they get up to. Or should I say  _go down on_ )

 

”Cut it.” Yellow glared. 

 

“Yes, My Diamond. Now, This  _criminal_ must pay for her actions. Since the rise of the so-called ‘Hinternet’-“

 

”Internet, Laurel,” 

 

“Yes, My Diamond. Now, since the rise of this...Internet?...Chalcedony has taken it upon herself to slander and berate the Mighty and Magnificent, Most Awesome and All-Powerful Great Diamond Authority, and must be punished for this...this...TREASON!”

 

”And the Defense...” Blue Pearl called out. Cerulean Zircon (yeah, Blue Zircon got poofed too. It was a shame, you know. She could’ve gone  _so_ far with that tongue of hers. “Clearly, Pink Chalcedony is not in her right frame of mind. There was no way for her to have made those remarks as a sane person. We must ask ourselves to judge her character, rather than her verbiage.” White scoffed. “E for effort at best, amirite, Blue?” White whispered, nudging Blue, who flinched. “Prosecutor, relay the evidence.” White clapped.

LZ pushed out several bubbles worth of articles, freelance pieces, and posts. “This is a direct attack against the Authority. Statements like ‘The GDA [Great Diamond Authority] has spent several millennia oppressing their colonies (Nov 22 1997) The GDA has been listening to and recording our conversations. WHERE are our rights? (Dec 3 1997) The GDA: Homeworld’s J. Edgar Hoover (Dec 4 1997) The GDA is kidnapping gems they want to get rid of (Dec 5 1997) The GDA is WATCHING OUR EVERY MOVE!!! (Jan 1 1997) They don’t really care about us @MichealJackson (Jan 30 1998) Guys, I came across some strange shit. Been doin mad reasearch trynna reveal the truth to y’all (Feb 10 1998) Ok, as of 3:05 a.m. my life’s work (book) on the GDA’s corruption’s out. Only 3.7 sales, and its 3:10 a.m. (Feb 13 1998)’ anecdotes from her book have circulated, accusing the Great Diamond Authority of manipulating Gem DNA sequences to start a class system, creating natural disasters, and silencing opposition. The most shocking posts originate circa mid-2000s. ‘GDA just sent some drones after me. Thank the Gods I’ve got a magnetic force field. (Aug 31 2007) GDA sent two sleeper agents after me. These Bismuths didn’t know what hit em’ (Sept 15 2007) The GDA is officially trying to kill me. I have to go in hiding. Thank you to all my loyal fans and supporters. I shall return when it is safe, but if you need me...you can catch me on the flip-side (Oct 1 2007)’ she hasn’t resurfaced till recently, but she  _clearly_ has some hostilities towards the Authority.” Laurel argued. 

”And the Defense?” White turned towards CZ. “This evidence is inevitable. But we can see how involved she was in the community. How she helped dysfunctional gems and other species from the colonies. She furthered the legacy of Pink Diamond moreso than any gem before! We should take her character into account first and foremost. All those hours at the colonies and shelters. Running education programs for gems in prison. Wouldn’t that be what Pink _wanted_?

Blue dug her nails into the armrest of her seat, restraining herself from lashing out. She settled back into a relaxed position before cupping her hands around Chalcedony, before gently placing her on her lap. “Crazy Lace?” Blue gazed at her with glossy eyes. “Yes, My Diamond?” She asked. “Light hurt your eyes, didn’t it?” she asked, softly. “Yeah,” Chalcedony rubbed her eyes. Her skin had flared up during the previous confrontation.

“You don’t like arguing very much, do you?” 

“No,” she shook her head. 

“Do you wanna tell me why you said those things?” 

 

At at this point, White was furious, and raised her hand in anger, prompting Yellow to grab her wrist swiftly. “We can’t have any of that, can we?” she released her grip, signaling White to dial it down. 

 

Chalcedony climbed up Blue’s arm before whispering in her ear. “Mm.” “Mmhm.” “I _will_  tell her you said that.” 

“Said What?”

“She’s still reeling from Pink Diamond’s passing. And hasn’t meant to disrespect our Authority. I think she’s having a hard time coping. After a short recess, we can determine the verdict, and I’m sure we can all walk away from this unscathed.” Blue said, knowing this was eating White alive.


	15. Best Part (pt. 3)

Inside the jury room- which had like six different vending machines (but not ONE fago)...

 

”A short recess? What were you thinking, Blue?”

”She’s clearly not  in the right frame of mind. Leniency would surely resonate further with the people.”

”But she’s equating us with... ** _Humans_**!”

”It’s not like she’s been a delinquent.  She’s a valued member of society, and we should keep it that way.”

”She does have a valid point, White. Shattering her would only make us seem more guilty.”

” _You_ too have been hit with the train of pacifism?”

”I love a good shattering as much as the next gem, but we haven’t done any of those things. Suspicion and unrest would-“

”I suppose you’ve cast your vote, then,” White hissed. 

“So, 2:1 in favor of  community-service?”

 

After returning to the court...

 

“We’ve made our decision. Bring back my girls,” Yellow neckrolled, a la Rupaul, “Yes, My Diamonds?” 

“Blue, since it was your _marvelous_ little plan, why don’t you deliver the verdict?” White groaned in defeat. She always was a sore loser. 

“Chalcedony, you have been absolved of all crimes against the Great Diamond Authority. You will not be arrested, bubbled, or shattered. And instead, will take a rightful place in my Cabinet. _We could use someone like you,”_ Blue declared. “That will be all.” she clapped, imitating Yellow. 

—

“Across the hundreds of Diamond colonies and extensions, Gems everywhere had greatly underestimated the might and mercy of a certain Diamond, who had successfully combatted the more violent outbursts of her counterpart(s). You might say this is a lustrous moment for our Diamond,” the reporter winked. “And that’s all from Channel B News.” 

Blue Pearl had turned off the television, still beaming from earlier. Had it been the successful rejection of White’s attempts at authority? Or the fact that she and Yellow had proven themselves to be competent partners, for the first time since Pink’s Death? A sudden knock on the door of her quarters promptly interrupted this chain of thought. “You may enter,” she smiled to herself, hanging up and putting away several robes in her closet. It was Yellow. 

 

“White was  _furious_ \- I mean, did you see her face all scrunched up like that? Pretty sure she’s gonna binge the 4th Season of Drag Race to feel better about herself. And you, well, you, were exceptional today-“

” _We_ were exceptional today,” Blue smiled. 

“Well, we do make a pretty good team,” Yellow sighed, leaning on a chest of drawers. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” 

“What?”

”I was thinking....if you didn’t mind of course....that we could have a trial-run, you know? Not as serious as it used to be, but-“

”Of?”

”What I mean is — Do you want to try being partners again? I don’t want to pressure you into anything, especially if you’re not comfortable at all with it, but...I dunno, you being here for me these past few weeks has been refreshing. Ive missed you, for a while now, actually, and I-But if it’s bothtering you, we could totally go our separate ways again.”

”Yes.”

”Yes it’s bothering you?” a look of well disguised  sheer panic spread across Blue’s face. I would’ve shit myself right then and there if it wasn’t for-

“No - Yes, I’d like to be _partners_ again.”

 


	16. sangria wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this song is such a bop

“Are you coming?” Blue asked, wrapping her hair in a printed headwrap. Her usual robes were replaced by a netting of blue and gold beaded top, which tastefully exposed the majority of her upper half. A maxi skirt of bright satin had barely reached past her ankles. “To...” Yellow asked, biting into fresh fruit, inconspicuously trying to stare behind the scantily beading. “Earth.” Blue turned to board her ship. “What’s in it for me?” Yellow snapped. Blue glared when she was upset, and Yellow was  _far_ too accustomed to the evil-eye. “Hmph.” Blue retorted, her Pearl following closely behind her as they walked up the ramp. Just as the door was closing behind them, Yellow stuck her arm in between the frame. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to.” 

—

“ _You_ asked  _me_ out, not the other way around.” Yellow rolled her eyes. “And this makes  _me_ somehow responsible for pursuing _you_?” Blue sent her Pearl off with her bags. “You don’t  _have_ to, I just figured you would.” 

“Do you want me to? If you do, then I would but-“

”I’m not  _asking_ you to do so, Blue. _But it’s_ _Earth.”_

 _”But it’s **me**_ _,_ and I wouldn’t have asked you if I thought you’d be unentertained.”

”And you plan on entertaining me?” Yellow smirked, forgetting I’d been right behind her.

Blue had sauntered towards her, pressing halfway against her, wrapping one arm around her neck, and trailing the other towards Yellow’s gem, stroking its surface. She raised her lips towards Yellow’s as if she were going to- “Behave, and we’ll see,” she whispered, releasing her grip. Yellow had already held Blue’s waist against her own, intertwining their limbs, before remembering my presence.

“Pearl.” she hissed, prompting me to exit immediately. Hopefully BP would have the new brand of fruit-cocktail enemas with her. 

“Do you wish to retire to your quarters?” Yellow whispered, knowing I had just turned the corner. A line like that should’ve been succeeded by an  _’Or would you rather me fuck you right here?’_ \- and instead resulted awkwardly. “I have business to attend to at the moment, Yellow. I must prepare for my ascension,” Blue began.  _“I’m sure you can keep yourself busy for the next few hours, right?”_ her lips had formed a pout, and her bedroom eyes had remained as she had switched her hips rhythmically away. “Pearl?” Yellow called to me. “Yes,  _my Diamond?_ ” “Have you brought the reports from Delphinia Laurianne and Sana IV?” - and here, I thought I would get to try that fruit cocktail enema.

-precisely sixteen hours, eleven minutes, and twenty-three seconds later...-

“My Diamond, we’ve arrived,” BP called to Blue, who had locked herself in her room for hours. “Coming,” she composed herself, exited the ship. Yellow had been observing silently from the head seat at the dining table, and hadn’t instructed me to follow. Thousands -no- millions of humans, all of which came in beautiful shades of brown, had surrounded her, leaving only a path to their great river. As she reached into the river, the once muddy water flowed freshly, glistening full of life, prompting the humans to throw offerings into the river. Boring offerings, but little sweets and nectars. And honey. A couple of gold trinkets on occasion. Once that had finished, they insisted she stay for a cavorting display of song and dance. Laughing among _humans_ was beneath even the lowest Ruby. And yet, she entertained their whims. And seemed to enjoy them. Even joining in on occasion, which might have squashed a house or two, but still. Yellow had not stirred once since Blue had joined them. She  _knew_ it was beneath her status to even think of associating with her subjects, yet hadn’t made any comments. When Blue had returned, the stars shone brilliantly over the blue-black sky, several hundred civilians skinny dipping and entertaining eachother in and around the river. When she had entered, she was glowing, really. Her periwinkle skin was dewy and fresh, her eyes bright yet yearning. Yellow had rose, which practically meant for me and BP to find something else to do. I  flitted off behind BP - who didn’t have fruit-cocktail enemas, only chicken bouillon. 

Yellow wrapped her arms around Blue’s waist, pressing against her chest. Blue had wrapped hers around Yellow’s neck, pulling her close enough for their gems to touch. Yellow had nipped voraciously at her pouty lips, before entwining their tongues. She paused, which was her own way of letting Blue set the pace. She bit her lip slightly, before beginning to speak.

 

 “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, blue’s ensemble was *heavily* inspired by Cardi B’s I Like It lewk. And the general inspo for her ascending to earth stems from Oshún a goddess in the Afro-Carribean religion, Santería. You can read more about it here: http://santeriachurch.org/the-orishas/oshun/


	17. boo’d up

“About?” Yellow raised an eyebrow, loosening her hold around Blue’s ass.  _’It’s been five thousand years, and **now’s** an appropriate time to start talking?’_ she thought. “Pink.”  _“Guess we’re not getting laid tonight,”_

 

“Specifically those Rose Quartzes from before. Have you thought about it some more?” Blue asked,

_My boner has officially disappeared  for the day. Dissolved, no...Disintegrated._

”I have dwelled upon the idea, considering both of our takes on it.” Yellow mused. She hadn’t, but had hoped this conversation would retrace it’s steps, continuing their banter from earlier. 

“And, what conclusion have you come to?”

”I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...we should freetherosequartzesthatwerentinvolvedingerdemise“ Yellow mumbled.

”What was that,  _dear?_ ” she pressed her gem against Yellow’s, but still prepared to pinch the fat between her arm and torso. 

“We should un-bubble the rose quartzes...” Y groaned. 

“I’m  _so_ glad we came to a consensus,” she smiled softly.

“Why?”

_Can this not involve an overcomplicated yet underdeveloped attempt to coerce me into agreeing on things? I promise I’m more agreeable when I-_

“We’re already here.” she pointed outside the main window, where we stopped outside of the Zoo. 

_Why must we **always** rely on an over complicated yet underdeveloped ploy to coerce me into agreement? _

__“And my Agate is expecting us.”

_’I wouldn’t have invited you if I thought you’d be bored’ she said ‘I’ll entertain you if you behave,’ she said._

—

“My most  _luminous_ , most  _lustrous_ Diamonds, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Holly Blue beamed, her eyes glossed with admiration.  _There is nothing I hate more than suck-ups. What’s the point in obsessing over someone else when you could have other people obsesssing over you?_ “We’ve made a decision about the Rose Quartzes,” Blue said, entering the chamber in which the Roses resides in perfectly pink bubbles. “I’ve reviewed your progress reports, and there seems to be an upwards increase in morale and efficiency. For you and the Amethysts to continue this positive trend, we believe employing the Rose Quartzes will allow more opportunities for... _whatever_ you’re doing to improve things around here.” Blue popped the Roses, sending a disoriented lot onto their rears. After organizing themselves into neat 4x4 groups, they were administered different positions and titles and the whole exceedingly delightful lot. All in all, diplomatic and boring. 

 _”I suppose she won’t want to fuck afterwards”_ Yellow sighed to herself, practically wishing she’d stayed on Homeworld.  _Practically._ It was incredibly late, but Blue couldn’t possibly be tired from engaging with those humans earlier. “Now that we’ve settled things, it’d be most appropriate for us to take our leave. You are dismissed,” she nodded to Holly. All in all, diplomatic and boring. When they had returned to the ship, Blue had turned in the opposite direction, waving a quick good-night. “We’re not gonna sleep together?” Yellow had asked. It wasn’t _really_ a question, rather than a mix of what Yellow Pearl would call ‘shock  & upset’ “I’m much too tired for that, now,” Blue yawned.

“I figured. We used to share a room, and since we hadn’t discussed the terms of the current partnership, I wasn’t sure,” 

“Terms?” Blue began. “It’s not a _contract_ , for fuck’s sake. Do you _want_ to?” 

“I had assumed, and not re-evaluated the situation-“

”Stay with me, if you want. You don’t have do do anything you don’t want to,” Blue shrugged. Yellow had followed her to her quarters, silently.

_Feelings & shit are all in all, complicated & hard to articulate._

 

 


	18. focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the most unorganized unplotted bullshit. there’s no plot to this chapter, so it’s very skippable. No character development, and nothing particularly interesting. 
> 
> [YOU CAN SKIP THIS CHAPTER. DOESN’T AFFECT PLOT]

Yellow had unbuttoned her overcoat, hanging it on the back of Blue’s headboard. She had waited until the bath’s doors had completely closed before peeling the rest of her ensemble off. It had been incredibly hot on Earth, and humid at the Zoo. Slipping into almost-boiling water had somehow soothed this outburst of anxiety. The proposal had been awkward on its own, and naturally a swarm of doubtful questions had emerged.  _‘People change in 5,000 years’_ ,  _‘Does she want things to be like before? Hell, do I want things to be like before?’_ ,  _‘Should I be worried about reminding her of White?’_ ,  _‘Is she okay with things being physical again?’_  All of these had seemingly floated away when the mild mist refilled her lungs. She had effectively cleared her mind, and had _finally_ been able to breathe without the unwanted chatter her brain seemed to deliver on its own. Not that her dick was any better, but at least it hadn’t forced her into her shell. Once Yellow had finished her bath, she laid alone for a while. Apparently Blue had taken hers in the guest room to save time.

Eventually she returned, laying beside Yellow for a while. Once Y’s eyes had closed for more than a millisecond, she had snuggled close towards her. Yellow hasn’t been asleep. One of her many idiosyncrasies was a need to be in control. A need to observe. Once Blue’s breath had slowed for long enough to deem asleep, Yellow had swallowed her in her limbs, unconsciously wrapping her arms and legs around Blue’s, wanting to feel tied down, anchored. That was the difference between the two; Blue had always been the kinkier one, and loved being tied-up. Involved. Active. And Yellow had been primarily level headed, feeling a need to keep them both grounded. Which often led to some  _extremely_ unsavory activities. “Mmph,” Blue stirred in her sleep, causing Yellow to hold her closer.

Feelings & shit had sometimes been...nice? I mean, Yellow was  _always_ down, but it was little things like watching her partner’s  chest rise and fall with each passing breath, reminiscing over old memories of motherhood, the off chance that they’d agree on something. Little things.  _Anything_ , really. Other than talking. The whole silent-treatment thing had made it easier. Their only interactions were cordial, scripted, and according to plan. And yet, _something_ had compelled Blue to consider the possibilities. Which would all probably end in long, drawn out discussions of ‘deep thought’ or strolls on the beach or Disney Channel Original -esque moment in which they’d have a parting kiss and continusly flirt for the next hour and ninety minutes. Secretly, Yellow  _had_ accepted the idea that she would have to be the creative one, if they weren’t to begin cruisin’ for a bruisin’. And she had secretly thought about a thousand and one scenarios that involved seduction and plot-devices - these things had to be well thought out, you know- and everything Yellow had ever wanted to experiment with had been included. Some of these were quite embarrassing, if her Pearl were to ever find her diary again, Pandora’s Box would surely have been opened. 

Tonight in particular, Yellow had slowed her breath to meet Blue’s, dreaming of pre-2013 D.C.O.’s and their respective sing-alongs. But gay. Everything’s gay for horny rocks.

 


	19. pray for me

“My Diamond?” “ _My Diamond_?” BP had called out to Blue. Apparently the fruit-cocktail enemas are due next week, but by that time the tutti-fruitti ones will be in. And BP would rather not ‘share industry secrets with the likes of  _you_ ’ so I’m pretty sure she’s done talking to me for right now. Yellow and I were leaving for  _another_ issue with the colonies. The Tetrahezoid mine was small, so this outbreak would only take a few days to quell. 

-

“Yes, Pearl,” Blue had felt for Yellow’s prescence, but was instead met by a folded sheets and such. “You may enter,” 

“Purple Obsidian’s en lieu and we haven’t prepared for their arrival,”

”What’re they here for, again?”

”Monthly check-up. Per your orders,”

”Very well.” Blue stretched, yawning. The old t-shirt of Yellow’s wouldn’t have been appropriate for a member of her court. Did  _wonders_ for her legs, really, but wasn’t the most practical for a professional environment. She filtered through all the robes she’d left behind.  _All_ of which would be quite snug - especially that tasteful little leather number and the translucent- no, diaphanous (it sounded more sensual) négligée. She  _must_ remember to find those again when the opportunity~ arose. She’d set those two off to the side, for safekeeping, of course, before settling on something simple. It would’ve been - simple, that is - a mere five thousand years ago. She had gained a bit of weight since then. Stress-eating. Sleep-eating. If  _only_ she hadn’t been to Earth  _so_ many times since Pink’s shattering. And if only she hadn’t brought leftovers back to Homeworld, she might have remotely been comfortable in the azure gown. It was awfully and uncomfortably tight around the bust and hip areas. This prompted her to remind her Pearl to gather some recent additions to her wardrobe when they returned to Homeworld. She washed up, before squeezing into the old ensemble, just before her Obsidian had arrived. 

 

“My Diamond,” her Obsidian smiled, kissing her hand cordially. They were of few ‘gems’ remotely close to Diamond-size, and in Blue’s case, Purple was taller. A brief curtsy, before a peck on the cheek. She stood on a scale - “Has it gone down?”  Blue asked, anxiously. She hadn’t been disgustingly obese, but she had wanted to lose some more before things became physical with yellow. “It’s gone up, again. You’re almost 70 tons. Have you been on that diet we discussed?” Purple implored, already knowing the answer. “Well, we had _just_ gone to Earth, and it would’ve been unfair of me to not accept their offerings.” Blue mused. She hadn’t been eating as much, aside from her relative festivals. “If you lose these twenty tons, you’ll be back to the size you were 5,000 years ago. So, if we’re eating, it needs to be primarily fruits and vegetables, and drinking plenty of water.” She had heard this for the past thousand years. Losing this weight had felt  _impossible_ , every time it seemed to go down, it’d spike back up again. “Are you sure there’s no way around this? I  _like_ eating and drinking. It’s _so_ much more interesting to sit and bingewatch Sad Girlz Club with a watertower’s worth of wine than to go out creating and destroying and shit.” she said, while eating some of yesterday’s leftovers.

“With all due respect, your lustrousness, I’m saying this to _help_ you. You have resolved all conflicts in your colonies. This lack of activity has forced you to regress into coping mechanisms. This downtime has availed you to speculation. You spend the time you have thinking about how things ‘used to be’ rather than what they could be. Currently you continue to contradict the meal-plan _you_ established, yet want the results you’re not willing to work for. Based on the current surroundings, I’d assume you spent the night here, but her luminence is not present, indicating that you have not yet begun having physical relations. You have  trust-issues stemming from your dynamic with White. You have shown interest in reclaiming your relationship with Yellow, but have not taken many steps to ensure her monogamy.” 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re suggesting me losing weight will make her go ‘oi bruv, spread em’”

”I’m not suggesting that you can’t stay at your current weight unless you want her to end things. I’m saying that being your best self radiates from you, and makes others want to be their best selves as well.”

”Thank you for that much needed lecture, Sherlock.” Blue rolled her eyes, channeling serious RBF. “Yet some of your statements have enticed me.”

”I’m listening,”

”How would one go about losing twenty tons within the week?”

”Within the week? It’s incredibly unhealthy, and I would not recommend doing s-“

”I didn’t ask for what you’d recommend, Obsidian. I asked _how_.”

”Hypothetically speaking, you _could_ lose them through fasting.”

”What would I do instead of eating?”

”To maintain a healthy metabolism you’d need to drink a minimum 20,000 gallons of water per day.”

” _20,000?”_

“A Watertower’s worth of water - not wine.”

”Thank you, Purple,” Blue smiled, sending for a glass. “That will be all.”

”...We still have to check your lungs. And that reminds me, - we’re going to need to get you examined soon,”

”Oh.” She groaned. “For?”

”You’ll be 39,000 soon. One more millennia till your-“

”I’m _not_ doing that.” 

“The FCT is necessary, and _all_ the other Diamonds have done it. You’ve been waiting 18,000 years.”

”Ten thousand more won’t hurt. And I’m  not shoving a drill up my perfectly good-“

”It’s not that awful. It’s just to make sure there’s no impurities. Eventually there will be a need for a fourth Diamond, as the Sapphires have predicted.”

”There has to be _some_ other way that doesn’t involve science and contraptions-“

”You haven’t had any water yet, and you’re already eyeing the...soup thing”

”The agbono? Or the pottage? - Diets and ‘pelvic exams’ with glorified torture devices are cruel and unusual punishment.”

”I still have to test the Humans at the Zoo, so we can continue this later, Blue. If you _really_ want to be your best self, you know what to do.” Purple had packed her bags, and left, dismissing herself. 

_Why would I want to be my best self when I can be a Sad Girl?_

 


	20. FROOT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not nsfw. mildly suggestive themes that will eventually be expanded upon. references to certain activities, but not outright smut.

4:31 p.m. -

“We haven’t talked in three days,” Yellow said, adjusting her monitor. She was still attempting to contain the outbreak from a distance. “I can’t see you,”. Blue had been getting hr portrait painted. Nude, of course, blanketed in an assortment of breeds from different flowers. “I need you to be my eyes,”  Ammolite called. Her red-orange locs rested beneath a beret. Her stance, determined, she raised the brush to the canvas. She had been taller than the average gem, but still much shorter than Blue. She was curvier than most. And had been rendered blind in both eyes by the war. Yet had already determined which species of flower from scent alone, yet needed to convey an emotion. 

“Can you see me now?” Blue posed dramatically, on her back of course, her hair lost within the mountain of petals. 

“Yes - What I was saying was, I thought you were going to call,” she hadn’t meant to sound desperate, really. It wasn’t intentional. 

“And what would make you think that?” Blue said blankly. Though her eyes were closed, Yellow could ascertain that  _she_ was expected to do the pursuing alone. 

“I assumed you were. You used to.”

”Well, I have missed you, but I’ve been tired,”

”Of sitting around watching Sad Girlz Club without me?”

”No - I’m on this diet where you don’t eat anything — speaking of: Pearl, dear, could you bring me some more water?”

”Fasting, you mean?”

”Sure- Anyways, how have you been?”

“Casually trying to avoid the plague.”

”Another outbreak on Tetrahezoid IV?”

”Unless we can end this strain, it’s expected to spread to V.”

”I’m _awfully_ sorry to hear that. Do you want to do something to take your mind off of things? I could take a break from this for a bit. IV isn’t that far from here.”

”I’m quite alright, actually. I’m sure we’ll solve it soon. A-“

 

”Your lustrousness?” Ammolite turned towards Blue.

“Yes, darling?” 

“I’m almost finished, is there a particular emotion you’d like to convey?”

” _You’re_ the artist. Just don’t make it boring,”

”Your luminance? - what would you say should be depicted?”

_The flowers on Homeworld were primarily synthetic. The natural ones were for practical purposes. A quick-read in Pink’s library on flower symbolism would’ve given a more detailed description. I remember the hydrangeas representing heartlessness, the gardenias of secret emotion, hyacinth of playfulness. There were few of those. The mauve carnations and coriander had been weaved and braided through her hair - both of which were noted for their suggestive nature. Orchids seemed to bloom right from her- **this** is what this was about. She was being forward. In front of my Court. This was all an overcomplicated yet underdeveloped plot. And I hadn’t noticed it till now, but she had intentionally kept her breasts sparingly covered. Her hairless, perfected figure, surrounded by symbols of sensuality. Keeping me waiting, that is. She knew I’d be with my Court, and had the audacity to-_

“Your luminance?” 

“Oh, yes. I believe this is a conflicted image. Fragile, yet durable, a symbol of fertility and motherhood, yet immaturity. All in all, very convincing. Excellent work on your part.” 

“Thank you, your luminance.”

”We’ll talk later, Yellow- Can someone turn the fuc-“—

—

2:52 a.m. -

”Hey,” Blue said softly into the communication device, “You wanna know what I’m wearing?”

The members of the Court had attempted the keep a straight face, but snickers had emerged. “You are all temporarily dismissed. You may returned when summoned.” Yellow commanded. The thirteen cabinet members had retreated to their quarters and respective offices before Yellow had unmuted her.

“ _Please_ make this worth the debacle you’ve forced me to endure,” 

“So you _do_ want to know what I’m wearing?”

”What else would _you_ have called me for at this hour?”

”You don’t _sound_ interested,”

”If you would get to it, already, before another patient comes in, I just mig-“

”It’s blue, like usual.” -  _That might be the kinkiest thing since rib-tickling._

“Okay?”

”The lace bustier set, with the garters. And the matching g-string” she said. Unsexily. The antithesis of boner material.

”There is no matching g-string. Wouldn’tve been practical, so we only ordered the top half and the garters.”

Silence.

”So what are you _actually_  wearing?”

”Actually? I’m sitting in your room in that old t-shirt you painted Pink’s room in, eating a tub of Double Fudge, watching old episodes of Sad Girlz Club.”

”Doesn’t sound desperate at all,”

”There’s _nothing_ to do around here.”

”Play games with your Pearl.”

”She only wants to when yours is around. I think she’s got a  bit of a crush.”

“I hadn’t noticed. Mine said she was getting the silent treatment.”

”For?”

”Asking too many questions about fruit-cocktail enemas,”

”That’s a thing now?”

”It is, I looked it up on your computer-“

”On incognito mode?”

”No, that’s why I did it on _yours.”_

_”And?”_

”Its some human guy shoving canned fruit up his ass.”

”Oh how _delightful.”_

”Kinda kinky, though,”

”Humans?”

”No, ass-play. I haven’t enjoyed it before, but it wasn’t _meant_ for me to enjoy, either.”

”Would you _want_ to?” 

“The idea _sounds_...promising. I just don’t feel like it’s an emotionally appropriate time.”

”Obviously. It wouldn’t work when I’m light-years away — but I do...understand why you’d be hesitant to do so,”

”It won’t take me forever, Yellow.”

”Take as long as you need.” Y began. “Yet you haven’t stopped your coquettishness,”

”I _want_ to be over it already. I just never seem to follow through with anything,”

”As long as you let me know _beforehand_ that your tits’ll be out when I call, it’s cool.”

”I will,” she smiled. 

 

 


	21. electricity

“My Diamond, a special delivery has arrived,” Pearl called to Yellow. She’d been in the lab non-stop the past week and a half trying to figure out a cure. “You may enter.” 

“What is it?”

”An Orchid, without the-the-th-“ YP began, she sneezed, and the petals scattered, several of which landing in the elaborate concoction. Her blood boiled before cooling. She hadn’t said anything, but her Pearl _knew_ that this could’ve cost them a breakthrough. “It couldn’t hurt to try,” an assistant shrugged, mixing the compound with a blood sample. “Ladies,” she called out to the team. “I believe we have a winner.”

-

“We’ve got a cure?”

”Yes, excellent work on your part.”

”Thanks.”

”Do you miss her?”

”What does that have to do with the cure?”

”It _doesn’t_ , but it doesn’t make it any less relevant.”

”BP? - of _course_ I miss her, even though she’s tiffed over these enemas.”

”That’s almost as weird as your obsession with my diary-“

”Speaking of, if you’d kindly remind me where you’ve hidden it...”

”Back to ‘BP’, do you want to take some time off?”

”Maybe after she gets over this whole enema thing?”

”That’s fair.”

”So do _you_ miss her?”

“‘BP’’s a nice gem? Loyal? I wouldn’t say _I_ miss her,”

”We both know who I meant.”

”There’s no point in missing someone, when you know you’re going to see them again.”

 _’So_ __glad you feel that way’, Blue called from the main monitor.

 _Oh shit_ -

“H-Hey Blue, I hadn’t expected you to call so early,”

”I just texted you that my tits would not be out this time,”

”Could you refrain from referring to them that way?”

”Would you prefer titties or tiddies?”

”Breasts, would be the appropriate terminology. We _are_ with company, after all.”

In the most posh British accent possible, Blue began imitating a Duchess or Countess of some sort. “Why yes, Geolwe, we _are_ with company. Do fetch us some tea, old chap,” she sent BP off. 

“You’re not funny,”

”My apologies Geolwe, would you prefer me to get straight to the point?”

”The accent is most unnecessary, Blue.”

“Seriously, though. When are you coming home?” 

“We _did_ create a vaccine earlier-“

”Not what I asked.”

”I don’t _have_ to stay,”

“You don’t have to come home right now either. It’s just boring with the two of us,”

”Pearl was just talking about how much she’d _love_  to return early.”

‘the fuck I do! I would never voluntaril-‘ I whispered

’take one for the team, and I’ll make it worth your while,’ yellow responded, curtly.

‘I want a 10% increase in Klondike bars and data usage.’

’Deal.’

’Wait isn’t 10% of zero still zero?’

’See you-‘ she beamed me aboard Blue’s ship, where she and her Pearl smiled sinisterly. It was almost pitch black, and the whites of their eyes where the only light inside. “Do you wanna play a game?” BP grimaced. 

 

 

 


	22. all the kids are depressed

Five days, Three-Hundred board games, and Seventy-Three mimosas later, Yellow had returned. Blue’s ship was in disarray, the dining set had disappeared entirely, Blue sprawled out beside us on a Moravian rug tapestry. We had been playing a seemingly endless giant version of Monoploky for the past four hours, and it seemed as it it’d never end. 

When Yellow had entered, she silently slipped past the three of them, hoping to get some sleep. “Can we finish this tomorrow?” BP asked, slightly nudging Blue to acknowledge My Diamond’s prescence. “That’s alright with me,” she pulled the makeshift carpet to the corner, heading towards her quarters. 

“You alright?” She called out to Yellow, who was sitting, alone in the dark. “Yeah - I’m quite tired, I just can’t sleep,” she yawned. Blue unbuttoned Yellow’s coat, setting it and her boots on the nightstand. She pulled Y’s blouse over her head, and her pants from around her legs. Yellow had looked cold. And old in briefs and a tank. She had lost weight recently - not that she wasn’t skinny already, she just tended to eat even less when Blue wasn’t around. Blue pressed gently on Yellow’s shoulders, brushing the surface before making firm contact. She caressed her shoulders, especially towards her back, which had been burdened with those god-awful shoulder pads. It  _almost_ seemed as if Yellow was going to verbally acknowledge this.”Lower...” Blue has shifted her position to reach the lower portion of her trapezius. “...Lower,” At the latissimus dorsi - the mid-section of her back that reached towards her armpit, had been incredibly stiff. “You good?” Blue rose completely, Yellow following, stretching. She nodded with acknowledgement, laying beside her. “And to think, I didn’t even get to your-“ Blue began before being interrupted. “I would appreciate if you refrained from referring to it that way.” 

“My apologies, Geolwe, I hadn’t meant to offend you when referring to your gluteus maximus. Would you prefer ‘callipygian’ or ‘derrière’?” Blue- er Lady Caeruleus teased. 

“This is _not_ what the Library’s there for,”

”The Library’s open, because reading is WHAT? Fundamental.”

”Your personality shouldn’t be a series of Drag Race quotes and Disney Channel Original aesthetics.”

”I’ll have you know, this nightgown is an exact replica from Barbie Princess Charm School.”

”She didn’t _wear_ a nightgown in that one.”

”But it’s got the lil’ details and shit.”

”That _must_ explain why your ass is out.” 

“You said g-strings weren’t practical. Besides, I’d much rather you refer to her by her full name-“

”No.”

”What would you prefer me to use, then?”

” _I_ don’t know - why do you have to talk about things like that in the firstplace?”

”And to think -  _you’re_ supposed to be the kinky one,”

”What would make you think that?”

”I did find your diary after all. It was a terrible hiding spot. Even your _Pearl_ could’ve found it if she was really trying.”

_Abort the mission. Destroy all the evidence. Kill all the Witnesses._

“Your little checklist - the quote un quote ‘Sexlist’ had been an _enlightening_ fifteen pages. Would you want me to quote an excerpt?”

”That May have been a...product of boredom and a lack of activity.” 

“You surely discredit yourself. ‘Twas a manuscript 5,000 years in the making.”

”I only started that a few years ago,”

”But your gay angst has been festering since then, hasn’t it?”

” _My_ gay angst, what about _your_ gay angst?”

”I’m gay for you, I guess.” Blue began. Apparently this had become an opportunity to start a ‘meaningful’ conversation. As if Barbie Princess Charm School hadn’t been important enough. “There hasn’t really been anyone else. I mean, White hadn’t always been- It didn’t start off that way- It just wasn’t like how things used to be, at all.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

”No, it’s late. And I was having _such_ a good time. But I know you have questions. Tomorrow?”

”You don’t have to set a definite date on when you’re ready to talk about it.”

”If I don’t, I feel like I’ll never want to, though.”

”You shouldn’t have to? But if it comes up, if something makes you uncomfortable, then that’d be the time to do so.”

She pecked Yellow on the cheek, resting her head on Y’s shoulder.

“Thanks, Geolwe. I really needed that.”


	23. royals

It had been bright outside, which was uncommon for a spaceship. The suns had risen long ago, and apparently so had Blue. Yellow peeled her face from the crusty pillow - she had been a secret drooler - only to be met by a pang of heaviness. Her eyes, blurry, swollen, and dilated. Worse than that one time they tried proloxerin 7 (the gem version of crystal meth). “You’re sick.” Blue said from the corner. She had watched several failed attempts to rise before interjecting.

“I’m just exhausted, is all.  It’s a shame I’ll have to miss this week’s tea with the Obsidians.” 

“ _We’ll_ have to miss this week’s tea with the Obsidians.”

”Don’t skip it for me, it’s just a head-cold-“

”I won’t miss it then — they’re already here.” Blue noted, sitting Yellow in a more comfortable position, leaving a warm compress over her eyes. 

“ _Darlings_ ,” Blue beamed, pecking Purple and Orange on the cheek, fashionably. Purple’s long aubergine hair was pulled back into a sleek pony, which accentuated their high cheekbones marvelously. They had been on the slightly curvier side, but their features - much like their personality - had remained straight-to-the-point. Their ensemble was a beaded jumpsuit, practical, yet stunning. Orange, on the other hand’s sienna colored hair had been tied into three meticulous buns, each adorned with a pin that matched their gemstone. Their robes had been comprised of several structured layers, each inspired by the aesthetic of the Northern and Southern Dynasties in China ; Their face marked ritually - they were considered a goddess on one of their colonies, and behaved as such.

“Orange, I heard a travesty had occurred in my absence,” Blue began.

”Oh yes, it was _awful_ \- Cracker went home two weeks ago,” O dabbed the corner of their eye.

”Not _that_ travesty - the worse one.” Purple elbowed her. 

“Eureka’s _still_ here?”

”No-“ Purple facepalmed. “The fic.”

” _What_ fic?” Blue implored, taking the time to dab Yellow’s forehead as if she was overcome with suspense. 

“Dirty Diamonds. We can’t figure out _who_ wrote it, exactly, but it was disgusting.”

”Do tell,” 

Purple had unlocked her tablet, opening AO3. When they began with“Blue Diamond had always had a thing for big dicks. She just couldn’t contain herself around them-“ some snickers had escaped from Yellow, who had received a swift elbow to the abdomen. “You may proceed.” Blue flared her nostrils, sitting beside O and P on the loveseat. 

 

“Yellow had been working out for days in a row, locking herself away. Just her and the machines, plus those rippling rock hard abs-“ had earned a rightful smirk. “Her thicc thighs had been crafted to perfection, her torso a magnificent statue to behold. And her size? OhHHh it was huge, even for a Diamond. When Blue walked past the weight-room, she could smell the beads of sweat as they dropped drip-drip right from Yellow’s pores. She stared secretly through the window, watching Yellow work that ass. She imagined Y’s slippery dick smacking against her thighs, and before it was too late, she bonked her head right on the glass. She staggered in towards Yellow, rubbing the tender spot. “Owwwwwie.” “Need me to kiss it better?” Yellow pressed her lips against Blue’s forehead, softly.. “Now _WHY_ were you over there in the first place?” Yellow sounded irritated. Her muscles twitched slightly, showing a clear outline through her Capri leggings - she forgot to put onderwear on this morning. “Should I tickle it out of you?” Yellow grinned, heading straight for her ribs. “Mmmm, why don’t you pound it right out of me?” Blue pouted, jiggling her ass cheeks, and ripping off the thin bedsheet she called a robe - similar ones on sale for $4.99 at Forman Mills btw- she laid over a stationary-bike seat,”Which would you prefer? Your nookie or your tushie?” Yellow’s throbbing entity had stretched its way out of her pants, and boinged !!!! right behind of Blue’s backside. “My cooter yearns for your Humperdink of a hairy hedgehog,” Blue said sultrily. Yellow rammed Blue’s tight Danger Zone with her $5 footlong, sliding in and out rapidly. “nnnngh” Blue moaned, right on impact. “Whaddya want, babygorl??” Yellow teased, slowing her pace. “P-Please ❤️ - im begging you, plunge your Excalibur right into my—“ “My?” “NYAAAAAAA~~~~~” Blue splooshed, coating the floor in her juices. Her pussy was a sloppy moppy mess, and Yellow’s dick had gone limp from how tight it was. “Clean up on Chapter 7!” Yellow smirked. Onto round 8.”

 

Silence. Blue (the actual one, not the pussy hoe) hadn’t said anything since Purple started reading. “S-Sat something, your lustrousness,” Orange held her hand. Blue threw her head back laughing, “I’m sorry, but _that_ might’ve been the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen— how many chapters did you say it was?” “35, but its ongoing. The whole thing was inappropriate, and believe me, my liege, we will find the culprit.” “Yes, I must congratulate them on their ingenuity- rib tickling? emoji-moaning? dicks stretching right out of their- the whole thing was _priceless_. A true gem.” She raved.

“We’ll see to it at once that the perpetrator is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.” Purple nodded. “Come Orange, we have _much_ work to do.” Purple headed towards the exit. 

“Blue, is there a meeting later this week?” Orange asked on her way out. 

“During the reunion? So we can get Cracker or Yuhua for Miss Congeniality.” Blue led them out.

”You’re obsessed with these _humans_.”

“It’s not like you don’t watch it too - and besides, you’re just salty that my Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent’s on fire, henny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 666 hits bitch, I got the power of Satan inside me ~nyaa~


	24. all the way

“Tea?” Blue asked, heading off to the kitchen. It hadn’t really been a question, but she’d phrased it as one. Yellow had this thing about being in control, and maintaining her reputation as a hardas- I mean, strict leader. It was normal, for them, at least. White’s superiority complex had been nonexistent, because she was _such_ a paragon of perfection. Blue tended to dots on everyone she cared about, which made her a bit of a pushover, especially when it came to Pink. Orange Obsidian had pteronphilia, which was weird, but Purple didn’t seem to mind - their titillagnia has been satisfied by such. And Grey had been prone to twiddle their hair, even though it annoyed the hell out of them when others did it. They had all had upsets to the pattern and- “ _What_ is in this?” Yellow sniffed at the putrid looking mixture placed before her. “Oh, lemon-ginger tea, three dollops of honey, a shot of-“ Blue began, before being interrupted. “I’m _not_ having a hot toddy.” She refused, setting it off to the side.

“Would you do it for a Scooby snack?” Blue teased.

“No.” Yellow had replied, coldly. She had a migraine, yet refused to mention being in dire pain.

“Finish it, and I won’t bother you anymore.” 

For the first time in several days, she noticed something _different_ about Blue. Her hair was tied up in a billion little curls, almost like a beehive. And instead of her regular robes, she had on something that looked like it came from Earth, of all places. A (blue) dress of some sort from their fifties, with a wrap waist and the a-line skirt with a little bow.  She looked like a regular housewife. An everyday Alice ; a modern Wilma. She had spent the entirety of their relationship doting, and had often enjoyed pretending to be someone she was not. “Fine.” She sipped the mixture. It was disgusting, but that wasn’t Blue’s fault, really, but the rum hadn’t mixed well with the tea, leaving an awful layer of unsaturated flavor. Yellow had finished it in one gulp. Blue took her mug, set it in the dishwasher, before returning with a hot compress. “You’re enjoying this more than you should.” Yellow winced. She hadn’t remembered her head hurting physically, but it had been tender. “You’re letting me,” Blue smiled, dabbing her forehead with a warm washcloth, leaving a cool one over Y’s eyes. “You _like_ this?”

“Taking ca- _Helping_ you? Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?” 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been sick - at least around you. We haven’t been ‘testing the waters’ for long so I figured-“

”If I cared then, what makes you think I wouldn’t care now? I _know_ we’re not as close as we used to be, but it’s not like I’ve been shunning you the past five-thousand years either.”

“I hadn’t meant to make things out to be that way — I just hadn’t intended on being such a nuisance, especially this early.”

”You’re not upsetting me, Yellow, I haven’t had anyone to ta- _help_ in a while, and I don’t mind at all, really. It’s like how things used to be.”

”But cooking, and cleaning, and watching Pink before she’d grown competent enough to handle herself - _how_ coils you’ve  that fulfilling?”

”Its like...you wouldn’t be you without work, without commanding, without fighting. And how White has a need to consume everything in her path. I don’t have a _thing_ like you all do. Creating and Destroying and Consuming are momentary pleasures at best, for me. I just happen to have a _thing_ for wanting to do whatever you all needed me to do.” 

“So you’re not happy, now?”

”I’m happy, in the sense that I have you, and the Pearls, and Obsidians, and little gems. And it’s much better than waiting around to be summoned all day.”

”But unfulfilled?”

”I don’t think I can _feel_ like everything’s coming full circle unless I have a role in someone’s life, if that makes sense? I don’t dwell on it much, but when it’s bad, I’ll usually visit a Kindergarten or the Zoo, and I’ll be alright.”

”So you would want to...”

”Start a family again? Maybe after another five thousand years? I wouldn’t want to rush things.”

” _If_ were to do so, that’s a bit of a stretch. Eventually, it’d be almost impossible to-“

”I don’t want to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

”Its a conversation we’ll have to have eventually. Wh-“

”Can we not talk about this now, Yellow?” she had a pained expression glaze across her face momentarily. She _had_ wanted to start again - it wasn’t an opportune time, emotionally or physically. Blue hadn’t come to terms with the fact that her chances of doing so were slimming. “What would you rather discuss, then?” She knew the conversation would be superficial at best, but she hadn’t asked to delve into their hopes for the future, either. “We don’t have to talk, actually, a new Basketball Wives came out the other day,” she switched on the screen that had resembled a large flatscreen television of sorts. “What do you think’s gonna happen to the one with the cockeyed tiddies?” Yellow sat up on the surrounding mass of pillows behind her, patting the spot beside her for Blue. “O.G.?” she snickered, holding out a tissue in front of Y’s nose, pinching it gently on both sides. “Blow.” She tossed the used tissue into a trashcan, before deciding on a response. “Mm, considering how obsessed you are with Evelyn and Jen, there’s sure to be some tears.”

“What about you?” 

“I’m a simple woman, relishing in each moment Jackie Christie fucks up a bitch.” 

 


	25. higher than this

She had fallen asleep slightly after the end-credits, her hair had come undone slightly, framing her face in several sets of curls, which had been more attractive than they were in a bun. There’d been no point in waking her. She’d left a fresh cup of hot water in case Yellow changed her mind, four boxes of tissues, and a snack. She pulled Blue further onto ~~their~~ her bed, causing her to stir softly. Yellow had never been one for...unnecessary displays of affection, but she had made an exception for Blue, who’d taken this as an opportunity to rest her head on Yellow’s chest. It wasn’t a rest, really, her boobs had got in the way of that, but it was closer to a nestle? The proper term was irrelevant, if not unnecessary. Nevertheless, it’d been a good feeling. “My Diamond?” I called from the hall. I hadn’t meant to interrupt them, but apparently ‘time was of the essence’ or some hippy shit Yellow Sapphire was preaching. “Sapphire’s here - and she has an urgent message.” 

“Proceed.” 

Yellow Sapphire had been nothing short of a glorified card-reader. And a poor one at best, I mean, the metaphors are too much. If the quick brown fox is jumping over the lazy dog ‘cause he got caught with a gram, runnin’ from the cops, and still got time to hit LD’s side bitch’s pussy up, just say so. She entered, of course wearing some tye-dyed medieval robe - this bitch comin’ up in herre like its Game of Thrones - and her long, golden curls nearly reached the floor. Nothing more than a disheveled degenerate with no place on the cabin-“Pearl, dearest, this is a private reading.” Is she _trying_ to catch a swift backhand? If not, I still got a volley that’ll set her bum ass grill straight. “I know, sweetheart.” I will snatch the crusty ass Kanekalon right from her dusty desert scalp. I wish she would try me. Then allllllll these other thots would see the lil’ tumbleweeds rollin’ across her big ass forehead. “You’re dismissed, Pearl.” Dismissed? How could _My Diamond_ pick a wannabe Woodstock 70s pornstar over a gleaming, beaming, beautiful - BP walked me out, patting my shoulder patronizingly. 

 

“My Diamond, the fates have told me cards have much in store for you.” She shuffled the deck of tarot cards, before instructing Yellow to draw three. (Its a gem-sized set, so it’d be quite hard to cheat) -

 

“Ah, the Lovers,” YS began, turning the card towards Yellow, searching for a reaction. “They’re upright, which means a solid relationship has brought you to where you are today. This same guiding beacon shall tilt fate in your direction, bringing blessings into fruition.” 

 

“Two of Cups, upright, yet again. You have been considering taking your relationships forward, which is necessary to achieve the destiny in store for you. Two in particular are heading in opposite directions. One decision will determine which of these will thrive.”

”Finally, the Six of Swords, upright, of course, which represents the difficulty and weight of decisions, that will ultimately lead to your prosperity. The stars are aligned in your favor, my Diamond. Take advantage of them.”

 

”Any questions, your luminance?” YS asked, shuffling her deck, placing it in her knapsack. “Do you have any definite advice that will bring this ‘endgame’ into existence sooner?” Yellow asked. Yellow Sapphire had let herself out, sliding off the duvet, and walking towards the door.

She turned back, **“The fields will be quite fertile this season. Take advantage of this, before the flood.”**


	26. move bitch (pt. A)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imagine if every time we got an internal monologue from YP, it cut to her sitting in like a Drag Race or Basketball Wives (take your pick) confessional. I’d DIE if someone ended up making that a reality. She’d be like ‘my diamond, pardon the interruption, but I must excuse myself. I wouldn’t want to subconsciously stomp her [insert anyone ever]’s ass into the ground in front of Your Luminance.’
> 
> **i promise to include some smut soon, since I’ve been so inconsistent w/posting

Apparently Yellow Sapphire thinks it’s cool to laugh and Kiki with the rest of us at Taboo - this club BP owns - and acts like I’m not gonna say anything about what just happened. First and foremost, when you are not fucking invited, don’t show up. When nobody wants your rusty dusty trailer-park trash lookin’ ass, there’s only one person to blame. YOURSELF. Secondly, this bitch shows up in the same dress she was prancin’ around like Black Cauldron wasn’t enough, you had to shove the Sword in the Stone and tie your lil’ tumbleweed tail into a braid. You’re not Daenerys Tartar Sauce, stop acting like it.    
  
“Hey ladies — and Yellow Pearl,” she smiled, her dentures practically falling right out her pitch black gums. Blue Pearl shifted awkwardly in her seat, tapping her acrylics on her glass in well-hidden frustration. To her left, Sodalite (professional shit-stirrer), Epidote (could knife a bitch with her eyes closed and hands tied behind her back), and Larimar (basic af, but is funny as hell when she’s tipsy). I, of course, was on her right, followed by Kyanite (a drag queen with a lil’ latex obsession) and Serpentine (somehow knows everyone on every planet, but the free shit’s cool). And of course, Lil’ Miss MAGA had to interrupt everything. 

“That sounded like shade,” Sodalite sipped on her lil’ mimosa. It wouldve been little if she hadn’t been having three glasses through one straw at once. “It was.” Yellow Sapphire plopped down next to Serpentine. “I think we’re all gonna go use the restroom,” Kyanite rose with the rest of us. She shoved Sapphire back in her seat. “We have fire hydrants  _ outside _ .” 

Sapphire knocked over the table to grab Kyanite’s wig, which had been glued on rather tightly. Instead, she continued to hold on as dragged her across the floor, all the way to the exit. “Y-You can’t let  _ that _ do this to me!” she cried, holding the ends of the ponytail in her cold, dead hands. She had subconsciously curled into a ball, prompting an inconspicuous kick - we all know it was me - which sent her rolling out the door. The other gems, who were overdressed and under-drunk had stood at their seats shocked. “Hey Ladies,” I smiled, taking Blue’s arm. 


	27. passionfruit (pt.1)

Yellow had returned to her duties approximately two sennights previously, which had been quite early. She had overworked herself, whether she was willing to admit it or not, but she’d managed things more effectively this time around. And yet again, she found herself alone and surrounded by unnecessary paperwork in her ‘office’. Things had been awfully boring the past few weeks, on three seperate occasions she’d resorted to...defilement, much to her chagrin.  
  
“I haven’t seen you in two weeks,” Blue said softly, emerging from the doorway. Chartreuse, partially opaque windows had made their potential conversation next to impossible to monitor. She hadn’t dressed up for the visit, but had taken extra effort in an attempt to distract Yellow from the documents before her.

“It’s been...hectic, these past few weeks.” A half-hearted excuse that Blue hadn’t seemed to mind. “I’m sure,” Blue stepped towards Yellow’s lil’ spinny chair, drawing out her steps. She had no intention of keeping this encounter professional, and had noticed Yellow’s (poorly-hidden) habit of staring out the corner of her eyes. There was great effort on Blue’s part. Her hair was tied back, a few orchids sprinkled in between the loose French braid. Her gown had been modeled after eighteenth century belles, which placed excessive interest around her cleavage while displaying her figure through yards upon yards of corsetry and satin.

“Has it been boring without me?” A leading question, with the intention of a skewed answer. “Quite.” It was inevitable that this train of thought was unavoidable.

”I have something for you,” Blue had ended up in front of her, leaning nonchalantly on her desk. Yellow half-expected a hyped up reveal of an attempted casserole - one of many reasons why Yellow had been the sole chef during their union. Y raised a wary brow. “Sit.” Before doing so, Blue tugged at the rose-colored satin sash at her waist, which sent her a mass of skirts to the floor, leaving her in a corseted bodysuit. She had taken her usual spot (on Yellow’s left leg, of course) before wrapping her arm around Yellow’s neck, leaving the other to wander freely. She pulled some loosely fastened tiny squares of construction paper from her boobs, handing it to Y. “ _What_ is this?” Another raised brow. “Did you read it?”  ‘Coupon(s): Free Shit Inside.’ Yellow began, flipping through pages of anime-esque doodles. The one that featured fellatio was particularly interesting, considering the gown big-tiddie-anime-princess Blue donned had looked an awful lot like the one regular-tiddie Blue was wearing.

“You wanna redeem anything?” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder: aquaria is america’s next drag superstar
> 
> p.s.: there’s gonna b poorly written porn next chapter, so anyone who’s sex-repulsed or isn’t comfortable with gay rocks sucking dick in space, y’all can skip/wait till next update.


	28. minor setbacks [PSA]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> none of y’all prolly care but:

I recently came back from vacation and have been drafting the next chapter/plotting the rest of the series. It’s barely 5 AM where I am rn, and I’m running on three hours of sleep, so any chapter(s) will likely be short/er. And Basketball Wives comes on tomorrow, (technically today, since it’s almost 5) so I won’t post any late chapters. My schedule for this week has changed a bit, but I’m gonna develop a consistent posting schedule that updates 2-3 times per week. catch you on the flip side, my good gays. 

 

-❤️ + happy pride from ur fave queer geode from the side of the road


	29. partition (pt. 2)

“Most definitely not the breakfast in bed one,” Yellow flipped to the page with little pancakes and toasts (glorified ovals and squares) which featured big-tiddie-sexy-chef Blue engaging in some....rather interesting practices with whipped cream.

 

“I’ve gotten better in the last five thousand years.”

 

“Let’s not try to find _how_ much you’ve improved,”

 

“Which one do you want to redeem, then?”

 

This had been another idiosyncrasy of Yellow’s. She has been the dominant force in their relationship, and often the first to encourage...relations, but her ‘thing’ about voicing these...proclivities stemmed from White’s stigmas surrounding _sinning_. She tore out the big-tiddie-anime-princess-Blue (whomst will now be referred to as BTAP - which happens to sound like a vaccine, but that doesn’t make her any less of an anime princess) -one, handing it to Blue, who had slipped off her lap already.

 

Yellow’s desk was quite curious, one of the few things inspired by Earth that she found to be functional for _all_ sorts of activities. The undersection in the center had provided a somewhat inconspicuous spot for Blue - who had finally found a comfortable position on her knees - in case they were interrupted.

 

“Oi bruv,” Blue began, wrapping her hands around Yellow’s thighs (find a sexy word for this, and I’ll change it) and pushing them in opposite directions in order to have “Spread ‘em.” 

 

Anyways, back to desks, curiousity, and dick-sucking — if only they had IKEA in space — Yellow’s provided a comfortable - as comfortable as deep-throating a gay rock in space could be - hiding spot of sorts for Blue, and an opportunity for Yellow to at least _pretend_ to get some work done. Yellow leaned on her arm to maintain this façade, while Blue suffused her dick (find another sensible term, and I’ll change it) softly. Y fidgeted with various objects around her desk in order to continue this ruse. Her lack of attention prompted B to allow Yellow to encompass the remainder of Blue’s throat, forcing Yellow to brace herself, adjusting her posture to maintain her composure. She allowed herself a moment in which she relinquished said equinamity momentarily, clutching the sides of the desk, allowing soft moans to escape her lips. She stroked Blue’s curls, gently - by this time, her Dutch braid had been unraveled, framing her face in a halo of curls. “Mmnh...” Yellow’s eyes rolled back slightly. By this time, Blue had slowly trailed back towards the tip, caressing it’s head with her tongue, anticipating  cu—ejaculation, which had to be coaxed out of an unwilling Yellow. “I hadn’t meant t-“ Yellow began, yet Blue had insisted on swallowing her cum (there _really_ is no other normal world for this) leaving Yellow’s dick lubricated for their upcoming endeavor. Unlacing her corset, B rose, in preparation to straddle Y, leaving her hands on her shoulders. 

 

“My Diamond?” BP called tapping lightly on the window. “My Diamond?” BP entered the automatic doors, inciting silence. “WhAt Is tHe MeAnInG oF tHiS?” Blue dug her nails firmly into Yellow’s shoulders - and this time it _wasn’t_ kinky - prompting a death-glare shot in her direction. “Your Lustrousness, there’s an urgent matter on Cailisulon VIIII-“ she mumbled. “I’ll return to the ship promptly. Leave us.” 

 

Blue sat in front of Yellow in her seat, letting her re-adjust the lacing of her corset, and handing her the mass of skirts. “I _don’t_ want to deal with this at the moment,” Blue rolled her eyes, rising. “You must, your _Lusciousness_ ,” Yellow pecked her cheek, plucking her ass playfully. “It’s _Lustrousness_.” Blue switched her hips, rhythimacally, heading towards the hangar.

 

“Same diff.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it would b real cool if y’all to leave feedback bc I’m not sure about my writing in general rn. even if you hate everything / see too many inconsistencies in the plot / it’s too gay for you or not gay enough (it’ll get gayer, I promise) / boring af / the ‘playlist’’s trash compared to your Minecraft parodies, then by all means, comment. 
> 
> I know the writing sucks. The plot’s barely strung together, and the fluff & smut seems to stem from Ned’s Declassified Fic Survival Guide, there’s too many references, and they haven’t had sex once in the whole fic. 
> 
> This could *never* be as good as half the other SU fics out there (the half w/o cringe moaning, that is). Later relationships (lookin’ at you, Holly Blue) won’t ever be as sickening as @airandangels ‘ Holly Blue Agate is Desperate Pass it On (if you haven’t read it, you’re failing as a human being). 
> 
> This just won’t be like anything else. All the other B/Y fics have longer chapters, a plot (no matter how Disney Channel Original-esque they might be), more characters, and less references, so if you want something written by a prepubescent man-child, find something else to read. 
> 
> Just don’t get your expectations up or anything, ‘cause my writing sucks more ass than Sharky, and I don’t think it’ll get any better.


	30. yet another [PSA]

There’s some major shit happening in the canon that relates to the Authority, spec. Blue ans Yellow. So, ther’ll be a chapter this weekend, and a chapter on anything canon-based that involves Bellowuntil the Special’s over. Whatever happens in the canon — on the off chance Blue, Yellow, (or Holly Blue Agate)’s shattered or bubbled, this will progress as I originally intended (and EVEN gayer references to come). 

 

So two-three weeks from now, the plot won’t have a major twist (mad gays in space = pop rock(s?) of their own) but things will simmer down a bit on B/Y’s reference-ridden-relationship and center on 1) an investigation (actual NCIS type stuff, not just detective costumes - though that can be arranged ;)) and 2) a ship inspired by the best SU fic in existence (n _Holly Blue Agate is Desperate, Pass it On_ ) particularly Sharky/Holly as it’s gayer than B/Y and is more developed. 

 

Basically the plot is as follows: 

 

WEEK OF 7/5 - - mainly-canon based / nothing majorly original unless it contradicts future plans

 

WEEK OF 7/10-7/15 - - some _actual_ sex scenes / investigation stuff

 

WEEK OF 7/20-7/25 - - a ‘month’ of the timeline elapsed / character development (and a completely committed relationship)

 

WEEK OF 7/30-8/1 - Holly Blue/Sharky / investigation / character development 

 

WEEKS OF 8/05-8/30 Holly Blue/Sharky / investigation / B/Y 

 

       [HIATUS]

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> horny rocks in space  
> are the best rocks around  
> pride is almost over  
> but im still a queer toad  
> on the side of the road  
> and aquaria won so this week’s  
> gonna be fun for horny rocks in space  
> and basketball wives had a twist  
> hopefully you hadn’t mist  
> anyways this week will be more cray  
> for horny rocks in space  
> (now with 97% more gay)


	31. patient

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this chapter is set from last Tuesday-Thursday-ish, and the dashes represent diff POV’s (An Example:
> 
> ‘Fortnite is life, bruv’ Yellow thought as she won her first victory royale of the season  
> —  
> ‘nah, bruv, card wars is where it’s at,’ blue pouted, spectating her girlfriend  
> )

“What happened?” Yellow’s cheek was pressed against the listening device as she brought in several bags of groceries. Setting them down on the countertop, she placed the device on the table, on speakerphone. 

—

”Apparently the rebels didn’t have the sense to credibly source their explosives, and ended up using Walmart-brand explosives, which damaged the core, of course, but hadn’t destroyed much. Just injured a little under a hundred and did a ton of property damage.” Blue rolled her eyes, inhaling a cloud of smoke. She exhaled, expelling a bout of vapor in heart-shaped rings. “If I had known it had been this trivial, I would’ve stayed.”

—

“I’ll be around early Thursda-“

—

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll plan _something_ for us to do.”

-

“ _Something_ for us to do.”

-

“Yeah, _something_ for us to do,”

 —————

Thursday Jun 29

9:39 A.M. 

 

Blue had been waiting less than a minute, yet had found the inadvertent need to fidget with everything about her. She pulled up her bra, tightened her garters, pouted her lips a bit, added another layer of mascara, before leaving back dramatically on the fainting chaise. Then, rearranging the assorted fruit beside her, sending BP to check on dinner - it’d been alfredo, referred to as ‘plain white sauce’ because of Yelllow’s disdain for all things human. 

 

12:57 P.M. 

 

She adjusted her bra, snuck a couple blackberries, garters, mascara, leaning, rearranging, checking, andecdote and et cetera.

 

10:08 P.M.

 

Blue had spent the past thirteen hours adjusting, sneaking, tightening, adding, subtracting, leaning, rearranging, checking, and musing on irrelevant anecdotes for the thousandth time. Her Pearl had ran off hours ago, and it _couldn’t_ hurt to. take a smoke break - it’d take less than half an hour, and besides, it’s not like she was busy.

 

She tied her robe - it really couldn’t be called such, when it was skimpy, silk, and had barely reached the mid-portion of her ass. Heading into the kitchen, quietly - as if anyone else’d been home in the first place, she pulled some DIY art hoe cigarettes out of their duct-tape cubby underneath the countertop. (DIY as in one of which would practically incinerate human lungs, inciting a bout of spontaneous combustion)

 

She lit it, sucking in the smoke, gently. Apparently, holding it for an indefinite, yet seemingly infinite bout of time did not catalyze Yellow’s return. And forcing herself to exhale had been awfully unpleasant, leaving a terribly hoarse feeling and an unwanted aftertaste in her mouth.

By by the time Yellow had arrived, it had been reduced, almost subtle. _Almost._ If it hadn’t been for the heaping pile of carcasses amassed upon the ashtray - by the way, darlings, orthoclase is the new bronze -  dark circles, and the thick fog she’d walked straight into upon entry - - it would’ve been a believable, potential lie. 

 

Blue hadnt smoked often, only in particular anxious situations in which it could be used to amplify the dramatic effect. “Hey,” Yellow smiled, wearily. For the first time in the past few months, they _both_ looked weary. “I hadn’t known I’d be this late, there was an issue with the fuel processor, again.” She continued. “Mmm.” Blue noted, sipping on an entire bottle wine - who else would yank out a bottle in less than 27.9 seconds? 

 

“We can play Monopoly _or whatever_ to-“

 

Blue rose, officially dismissing Yellow (and initiating ‘I’ve had it’ mode), she patted Y’s shoulders, patronizingly. 

 

“Because that’s _exactly_ what I had planned.”


	32. get free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay fluff is good for your health, but may cause death

‘Morning had come.’  Sounds like a line from some shitty unrelatable AP English project about walkin’ in the forest or some shit, but apparently there hadn’t been a more accurate, if not uncreative way to describe a middle-aged woman miserably lounging about in a fur coat and matching thong, chugging her second bottle of wine before nine. 

She had heard rustling in the kitchen. That errand she’d sent the Pearls on yesterday was expected to take them several days, at least. Long enough for _plenty_ of *monopoly games*. She slipped on some flip-flops (that Old Navy Fourth of July sale had been irresistible) - and shuffled outside. 

Yellow hadn’t been properly dressed, which was odd, even for her (She only took her gloves off when engaging in *monopoly games*). She had on athletic short shorts that were a tad small, yet _quite_ flattering, and a racerback sports bra. “Blue,” she held- well, it wasn’t a specific part of her partner, really. Yellow had formed and ‘embrace’ of sorts. Key word being: of sorts. 

 

 

“I hadn’t intended to stand you up, yesterday, there was an issue with fuel. I should have communicated and rescheduled. My failure to do so w-“

”You’re making it sound like a _report_ , like ‘I’ve failed you, Admiral, conspiring against this union, and destroying any and all chances we had’”

“This is serious, Blue. It _is_ a report. I’m recognizing your grievances, and am willing to compensate for them.”

” _Compensate_ , you say?” Blue began, placing her hands on Yellow’s, wrapping them around her waist, before pressing her back against the countertop.  “And what _methods of persuasion_ do you plan on using, Commander?”

”What do you have in mind, _Admiral_?” She has been humoring her, as per usual. 

“You could start with the Breakfast of Champio-“

”We are _not_ referring to your....parts....as the ‘Breakfast of Champions’. Or Baja Fresh. Or anything else cringeworthily human.”

”Fine, we will not refer to my pussy as either of those. But you can still eat me out, for posterity purposes, of course.”

”I had something else in mind - but Posterity, as in future generations?”

”I guess, yeah, who else’s babies am I gonna have?”

“I dunno, I hadn’t realized you wanted to have mine, And Secondly, future generations aren’t a result of cunnilingus, Thirdlly, you haven’t asked what I came up with yet.”

”Eventually? We have a couple thousand years before I can’t. And _Secondly_ , it’s not about you eating me out, it’s about what I might do to you after-“

”This is not a 90s porno, please refrain from much cringe. - - And we still haven’t gone over what I’ve come up with.”

” _What’s_ been more important than eating me out?”

”I figured out a fair resolution.”

”Does it involve eating me out?”

”It _might_ ,”

“I’m listening,”

”We should go to my Prime Kindergarten, the abandoned one, that is. I’ll plan the whole thing.” 

“As in your Nude Beach House? If it’s still Nude, then I’m definitely in-“

”White’d never let me keep it, if she knew you called it that, she’d— does it upset you when I mention her?”

 

Blue sat on the counter, crossing her legs at the knee. “I don’t wanna dictate our dynamic, _I prefer when you’re on top, anyways_ , but i don’t feel anything? At times I remember _things_ more vividly, and I don’t always sleep well, but I suppose that’s normal.“ she began, sighing. Onto her third bottle of wine for the morning, she had become a bit tipsy. 

“You think about it a lot? Yellow coaxed her down from the counter, placing the bottle of blue-black in the fridge. “I’m not done, yet.” Blue rolled her eyes, reaching to open the door, though Yellow had been effortlessly stronger than her. “And I try not to, that’s why try I keep busy all day, eventually things seem to drift-“ she began, before beginning a new train of thought. “You gonna eat me out already?” Blue smiled, an inebriated blush spreading across her face. “You’ve had more than enough to drink, and it’s not a good idea-“ she firmly closed the fridge this time. “You’re no fun,” Blue poked Yellow’s left cheek, then the right, before smooshing them together. “What about this is amusing to you?” 

“Nothing. I don’t get amused.”

”What _do_ you get, then?”

 

 “I have three moods, emo, horny emo, and super horny but not so emo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow’s chapter(s) are gonna b mad gay. And on Saturday, I’ll update from Tomorrow’s ep.


	33. rather be

“And which one are you, now?”

”Horny emo.”

”What can I do to make you less emo?”

”You gonna eat me out, or are we gonna stand here doing gay fluff for the next few chapters?”

Yellow sighed, yawning, ignoring her remark. When stretching, her muscular arms twitched slightly, reaching upwards. “Fine.” Blue pouted, heading off to her room. “What, if I’m not gonna do it, _you_ will?” Yellow followed closely behind her. Blue plopped down on the canopy bed, face first into a ton of pillows. “You’re not _seriously_ upset over this, right?” 

 

“No, I’m fine. Just _bored_.” 

 

Yellow sat down at the edge of the bed, turning back towards Blue. “We haven’t watched the finale yet. And there’s  always-“Yellow began, before being interrupted. “We _always_ watch t.b. and we _always_ play games.” Blue groaned, leaning her head on Yellow’s shoulder. “What do you want to do, then - other than... _that_?” Blue kissed Yellow’s bare shoulder, softly. “Nothing _you’d_ wanna do, anyways.” 

“What makes you so sure I wouldn’t?” Yellow raised a brow. “You never do anything when I ‘don’t have the capacity to give consent’ - I’m not drunk, just more... _relaxed_ than usual,” Blue smirked, putting her furs to the side. “It’s not that I _don’t_  want to do anything, it’s out of...love for you that I don’t follow through with it. It’s not a good habit to start, Blue. I didn’t do it  20,000 years ago, and I don’t intend on starting now.” Blue’s glossy eyes, glazed over, gleaming, glistening, other ‘g’ word of imagery, her eyes widening. “Y-You _love_ me?” 

_I don’t think you can stop loving someone. We’ve been ‘married’ nineteen-thousand years and some change. The past five thousand have been...rough. But if I loved you then, what makes you think I wouldn’t, now?_

”Yeah, I guess I do.”

 

 


	34. family affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> — this episode directly comes before/after Reunion (it’s on Dailymotion for free w/no signup/hacks: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6nudog)

“You “My Diamond,” BP called. She returned much too early - the nonexistent Peppa Pig-plated, rhinestone-encrusted sunglasses Blue requested should’ve taken her three days to not find. She may have returned coated in slurm and reeking of Eau de Sensual Squelching Sploosh, yet no questions were asked. 

“My Diamond, we’re being hailed.” 

Blue rose, shuffling through her closet, hurriedly, searching for something that wasn’t so revealing. There had been few good things that came from her experiences with White, and this hadn’t been one of them. After selecting her traditional cape - that shapeless one she’s _always_ seen in, she glanced towards Yellow, hoping she’d be accompanied. Y followed, the two of them heading to the bridge.

“Forgive me, Your Luminance, you hadn’t answered, and the message is quite urgent.” Honey Yellow Agate began, pacing back and forth, her beehive bobbing slightly with each step. “What is it, Agate?” Yellow rolled her eyes, leaning on the pilot’s seat. “The preparations are in place, we can extract the traitor and bring her to trial.” Honey Yellow pulled up several pictures of Rose Quartz in boy form. Boy child form. Steven form, even. 

— Fifteen Hours, Forty-Seven Minutes, and Thirteen Seconds later —

“It’s you...Pink.”

 

Blue appeared as if she were going to faint, Yellow holding her partner’s arm reassuringly. Silently, but reassuringly. “It’s hard to explain, but please, you have to believe me-“

Yellow sighed, exasperated with the torrent of destruction the Cluster had caused.  ”There is much to discuss, _after_ we return to Homeworld for a proper trial.”

 

”Trial?” a voice called out from the crowd. Probably Peridot. Probably - there hadn’t been a ‘you clod!’ at the end, so we can never be too sure. 

 

“You’ve inconvenienced important plans, practically destroyed both of our ships, and-“ Yellow began, before noticing the death-glare sent in her direction. “ _Yellow_ , I’m sure she hadn’t meant to turn an entire planet against us, jeapordizing what little relationship we have left, forcing us to destroy anything and everything thats negatively influenced her. Why don’t we talk to her in the morning?” Blue held on to Yellow’s arm possessively. “Blue, th-“ 

“Yellow, I _said_ ‘Why don’t we talk to her in the morning?”

”B-But-“

“We will resolve this issue at an appropriate hour.” Blue began, brushing stray strands of hair from her face. “One more word out of you, and we’re not *insert extremely kinky but slightly taboo sexual act that their gay asses would totally be into*” Blue whispered, pinching the tiny bit of fat-meat on Yellow’s arm.

Yellow flinched repeating her mantras incessantly: ’happywifehappylifehappywifehappylifehappywifehappyifwhappywifehappylife’ and thoroughly convincing herself that the *previously mentioned extremely kinky/slightly taboo sexual act etc. would’ve been far more important than unpoofing - if that was even a thing - the Crystal Gems.

 

”We shall return tomorrow, degenerates. We suggest you’ve prepared a th-“

“You wanna fuck, or not?”

“ _Coming,_ ”


	35. proud family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this show was the shit back in ‘02

(spoiler alert: they did not fuck that night)  
  
  
  
It had barely reached dawn, and the Diamonds had returned to Beach City. Citizens had attempted to clear the wreckage from the coast, which had seemed to make things worse. Steven had watched them descend, the morning breeze ruffling Blue’s hair in the wind. He scooted down the stairwell, tiptoeing past everyone’s rooms and heading outside.  
  
“So, who are you exactly?” Yellow narrowed her eyes. For once, she hadn’t been wearing that retro coat and those mommydom boots. Instead, she donned a pantsuit, and those god-awful Dexter’s Lab lookin’ mom gloves. It’d been the closest thing to casual attire Blue could convince her to wear - especially considering the sarong-esque coverup, which covered the skimpier end of her bikini and two-thirds of her legs, they had been at heavy extremes.    
  
“Steven Universe.”  
  
”How?”  
  
Blue’s summer robe- 3 in one beach towel, cloak, and booty massage blanket - billowed fiercely in the wind, prompting her to cast it aside, patting a seat beside her for Yellow - and we should assume Steven, as well.  
  
”W-When you refused to spare Earth, mo- she shapeshifted, and became Rose Quartz, led the rebellion, etc. And after she had me, I must’ve inherited her gem.”  
  
”Impossible. This has to be some sort of ruse.” Yellow had an inherent distrust for humans, and Crystal Gems. Especially hybrids of the two. Blue placed a firm hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you ask him something only she would know?” she whispered, brushing Yellow’s bleached bob - which was surprisingly neat for being out of the helmet for the first time in forever - into a neat pony. “Before she broke the window, what code did I enter on the screen?”  
  
“S- He’s not going to remember that, darling, you’ll have to pick something eas-“  
  
”White, Yellow, Blue, Pink, White.”  
  
”Oh Pink,” a tear slipped from one of Blue’s eyes “It really is you,” Yellow wasn’t phased. Perhaps the question hadn’t been hard enough.  
  
“Other than that, I don’t have any of Pink or Rose’s memories.”  
  
“How did you even survive? - we blasted the planet, and obliterated every gem on its surface - like some Scooby Doo shit - you know, the one with the voodoo furries?”  
  
”They weren’t exactly obliterated...” Steven began, hopping over the railing, and pressing a side panel in the Temple. A corrupted centipede slivered out, causing Blue to grip Yellow’s arm tightly. “What is that-that thing?”  
  
“These are corrupted gems. After you sent out that beam-thingy, all the gems who were unprotected were turned. And they’re pretty much all doing their own thing. A lot are pretty angry, though” He petted Centipeetle mother’s mane.  
  
“Jade?” Yellow mouthed, barely forming a whisper. Centipeetle Mother met her former Diamond’s eyes momentarily, before turning back towards the selection of Chaaaps in Steven’s pocket. “What was that, darling?”  
  
“Nothing-“  
  
—-  
  
Hours later, it was nearly lunch, and they had barely covered much ground. “Pearl?” Yellow called, her voice resounding throughout the harbor. “Yes, my Diamond?” I replied, holding BP’s hand, emerging from the wreckage on my hover board. “Have Emerald resolve our transportation issue. Full reports as soon as possible.” - I rushed off to complete the task - the communicators don’t get the best service below sea level, and I ended up on Earth Pearl’s roof.  
  
  
  
“Aaaaand this is my favorite place in Beach City, Beach Citywalk Fries!” Steven exclaimed, running up to the counter, where a petrified Ronaldo hid. “Can we get some bits please? I only have some lint and a couple pennies left bu-“  
  
”Shhhh, Steven-“ he yanked him through the ‘window’. “Do you see who’s behind you?” Ronaldo pointed towards Blue and Yellow. “Yeah? The Diamonds? Can we just get some bits?” Steven scratched his head, and it hadn’t sunk in that the Diamonds were feared by all. “Sure, Steven, I’ll ignore the giant women who happened to destroy your house and attempted to colonize the entire Earth, so y’all can enjoy the bits first.”  
  
”Thanks,” Steven skipped off to win a stuffed animal from the claw-machine. Within a few minutes, Ronaldo returned to the counter with a regular bag o’ bits for Steven, and a shopping-basket’s worth for the Diamonds.  
  
“You’re not seriously going to eat that, Blue. We don’t even know where it’s been,” Yellow whispered. “Live a little, Yellow. It’s not like we’re going anywhere. I promise I won’t have any tomorrow,” Blue smiled, sitting beside her, leaning against her shoulder. “What’s tomorrow?”  
  
“You didn’t _really_ forget - I bet you’ll have something perfect planned, and you don’t want to spoil it.” Blue’s eyes glossed, a sign that her wheels were turning, thinking of the endless Disney Channel Original inspired dates Yellow could’ve come up with for their anniversary. “Y-“ Yellow began, before Steven ran over with the bits.  
  
“These look delicious, thank you, Steven,” Blue smiled, nibbling at one, before downing half the basket in a few minutes. “Yellow, darling, you want some?” Yellow turned her nose to an unfortunate angle, one at which the grease and carbs and fat and all things good and wonderful and gluttonous in this world prompted her to take a few out. “These are...edible. Unhealthy, but edible.”  
  
”You know what would go wonderfully with this?”  
  
”Soda?”  
  
”Ah, no, Steven. Wine.” Blue called BP over, requesting whatever salvageable bottles from the wreckage, which were dragged back within a half hour. “You’re such a gem,” she shooed BP off, politely, handing one of the bottles to Yellow, who opened it quite easily. “Do you drink, Steven?”  
  
”It’s kinda illegal.”  
  
”Mm, not what I asked. Surely, your Kindergarten Manager would permit you to do so, if you requested.”  
  
”Kindergarten Manager?”  
  
”When you don’t have a mother, you have a Kindergarten Manager, who prepares you for whatever training it’ll take before you’re assigned a career.”  
  
”Ohh, like Pearl? Or like my Dad?” Steven scurried over to the corner behind the Arcade Wall where Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth, and Amethyst awaited him, Scooby Doo style. “Dad can I have some wine?” Steven started, employing his irresistible starry-eyes. They had almost done the trick, nearly depleting Greg’s defenses. “What?” He snapped back into reality like a pair of Walmart brand briefs. “Your friends just got poofed by giant-er women, and you wanna ask me about wine???”

 

Steven scurried back to Blue, shaking his head ‘No.’ “Oh, well, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, if you had a _tiny_ drop.” Blue let a tiny drop land into a soft-drink cup, enough for Steven to have gotten a few sips in, before taking a - it doesn’t count as a swig when you down a third of it in a few gulps.

 

“Hey!” Greg ran over to them. “hey,” he lowered his volume, intimidated by the Diamonds size. “I get that you’re big a-and strong and stuff, but Steven’s my son. And if I don’t think something’s right for him, he shouldn’t do it.”

 

“But we’re his _grandmothers_ \- it’s our job to spoil him,”

 

“It’s not even close to one, you shouldn’t be drinking either!”

 

Blue had gotten around to finishing off half of what was left, before Yellow tipped it back further, prompting her to chug the rest, forming a slight blush - which ended up looking awfully purple - to spread across Blue’s face. “I-Is she gonna be okay?” Bismuth nudged Pearl, who shrugged. When Blue finished the last of it, she pulled the bottle from her lips, exhaling calmly. “Sucked my dick for longer,” Yellow whispered, nudging her elbow. Blue snickered, elbowing her lightly back.

 

“You’re not gonna say anything, either?” Greg pleaded.

 

“Human Greg, are you familiar with the saying ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life?’

 

Discourse and remarks were made throughout the group, who’d emerged in front of B.C.F. around this time. “you’re _married_ ?” Amethyst called out first . “And yes, I am familiar with that saying, but _still_ -“ Greg ranted. “Can we get back to freeing Peridot and Lapis?” Garnet asked.

 

“One at a time, in order of importance - I suppose Lapis Lazuli and Peridot...will be un-poofed when we return to the Temple.” Yellow began.

 

“Fine, Human Greg, I’ll be his wino Nana who mostly doesn’t break the law. And mostly listens to his dad. _Mostly_.” Blue continued.

 

“And tomorrow makes it our nineteen-thousand year anniversary,” Blue smiled, taking Yellow’s hand. O shit, O shit, O shit. She had forgotten their anniversary. And it’d be the second time in the past few weeks that she had faltered - first, standing Blue up that night, and now, forgetting their anniversary. Even over the past 5,000 years, Blue hadn’t failed to get her something, even if they weren’t together. It would take great effort to conceal this error. 

 

“So this wasn’t the first Gem Wedding?” Steven babbled, his eyes glistening. “Technically, it is? White was against it, so we never had a ceremony. I did propose, though. And I still have the rings, of course.” Yellow reminisced.

 

“So you all are gay too?” Garnet asked as she unfused.

 

“Gay for _her_ ,” Blue nuzzled into Yellow’s shoulder.

 

“All gems are inherently queer. Why, even your mother had a little girlfrie-“

 

Steven’s eyes got glossy, yet again. “ _Really_?” 

 

“Jasper was... _nothing_ close to what we had envisioned for her...” Blue began. “But I suppose some things were— Human Greg, weren’t _you_ her wife?” Yellow continued, wrapping an arm around Blue’s shoulder.

” _husband-ish -_ we _never actually got married._ I didn’t know her as Pink, but Rose? I can’t think of anyone else who made me happier.” He radiated - there prolly isn’t a scientific term. Or a normal term. But when someone radiates pure good vibes and pure interest, you can just tell. And I guess this is just one of those times. 

“Then I suppose you were right for her, too.”

Yellow raised her hand slightly, which summoned a poofed Lapis and Peridot’s gems from the beach, raising them into the air. With a beam of golden light, Lapis and Peridot had un-poofed, returning to their normal selves before falling to the ground. 

“Let me at ‘em!” Peridot picked up some fries, tossing them at the Diamonds. “C’mon you clods, what are you doing?”

”Yeah, they’re trying to kill us!” Lapis remarked, gathering several orbs of water. 

 

“You and me will always be tight,” Steven started singing. “Family, every single day and n-iiight,” Connie continued, standing beside him. “Even when you start actin’ like a fool,” Amethyst began. “You know I’m lovin’ every single thing you do,” Pearl beamed “Around you, I can always be myself,” Garnet joined in. “And every day as I’m headin’ off to school-“ 

”You know there’s no-one I love as much as you,” Blue smiled, pecking Yellow’s cheek. 

”Yeah, yeah, we get it. It’s a family, a family, a proud proud family,” Peridot pouted. 

“So...so we’re not gonna try and kill eachother again?” Lapis let the orbs form puddles at her feet, sulkingly.

 


	36. the last chapter was updated. what you saw before was a draft. [psa]

just in case you’re not one of them fine sexy college mens I’ve already warned, the previous chapter you might’ve seen was just a draft. the full chapter is uploaded/posted now. 


	37. how to be a heartbreaker (pt.1: be the first to run)

“You forgot, didn’t you?” Yellow had replayed the situation and almost all it’s possible negative outcomes for when she was finally outed. “This is what love looks like to you?” 

   “I thought you changed,”

”I wish we’d never gotten back together in the first place.” 

“I would’ve been better off with White.” 

That would’ve really stung. She hadn’t actually said anything, yet. She and Blue had spent the past two days in Beach City, and the nights in Homeworld. Things had been tense. Good tense, like all family reunions are.   “Blue, can we talk?” Yellow asked. “What’s up?” Blue took her hand, leading her to the warp pad. “Oh- I had something for you - it was on my ship, but I suppose it’s gone, now,” she seemed awfully disappointed then. “It’s alright, I-“ Yellow began, preparing a confession. “How’d you know I picked out something else?” Blue smiled, interrupting. She pulled out a poorly wrapped parcel - at least the wrapping paper had a delightful fresco of ombré dicks. Yellow untied the ribbon, revealing a pair of yellow patent leather gloves assorted with several buckles and straps. Double function as dominatrix gloves, in case of a sudden career change. ”Only been working on them the past few days, so they’re not the best,” Slight errors on occasion, but things’d been primarily perfect. 

“These, these are perfect, Blue. I love them. ”Yellow handed Blue her old gloves, pulling on the new ones. “I love you, too,” Yellow pecked her forehead. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you-“

”I _know_ you forgot about our anniversary.” 

“I hadn’t meant to, Blue, really,” Yellow began. “I’ll make it up to you, promise.” 

“You don’t have to, Yellow.”

”I _want_ to. It’s only fair, being the second time I-“

”Don’t worry about it,” Blue exited the pad, heading towards Steven’s house. 

It really had been the end of the fucking world. Yeah, she hadn’t been crying or emitting an emo aura. There hadn’t been any tables tossed or weaves snatched. Doesn’t mean it stung any less. 

 Yellow had always been one for having high standards, and one who thrived from praise. Disappointing anyone brought a sort of anxiety about her. Disappointing Blue brought that cottonmouthed feeling. The one where it feels like your heart got caught in your throat and you can barely breathe, and can’t seem to form any coherent thoughts.  The one where your emotions and shit are trynna burst out, and simply existing seems to prevent them from doing so. The one where “I’m sorry,” doesn’t seem to fix anything. 

Doesn’t mean it stung any less.


	38. how to be a heartbreaker: (part 2: somebody you could lose)

“I’m going for a walk,” Blue headed off towards the cliffside, her sarong-esque coverup whipping in the wind. “Do you want me t-“ Yellow began, before being cut off. “ _Alone_.” 

Yellow headed in the opposite direction, sitting outside Steven’s. “Hey Y- should I call you something different, since you’re like my grandma, now?” Steven smiled, revealing a printed tumblr shitpost of nicknames for grandmothers. “Mmm, Yellow is fine, But Mom-Mom is quite nice.” She pointed to a particular post by @sag-sacks-77 “What about Blue?” Steven’s eyes glistened, foreseeing an infinite amount of gay fluff. “I think she’d prefer ‘Nana’, but you’ll have to ask her yourself.” Steven scurried up the cliffside, repeating the process with Blue. 

 

“So y’all are just as gay as the rest of us?” Ruby sat down beside Yellow, who was lost in doubtful, anxious thoughts. “I’d like to think so,” she smiled. Suppose it had a twinge of sadness to it, if such twinges existed. “You okay? Not that I care since you’ve been a dick these past few thousand years. But um, you okay?” she kicked a pebble at a gecko who was trying to steal her eggo. “Yeah. I should’ve dialed down on the dickheadedness, though. It’s mmm, ‘my bad’” 

“Your bad?”

”There’s just... _complications_ found during relationships with members of another court. And fusing has some long term effects that aren’t the most helpful.”

”Wait, complications? And how come we haven’t heard of this?” 

“It’s forbidden for a _reason_. There’s only so many chances one has before things become too much...”

”Wasn’t vague at all.”

”I suppose you’ll come across it eventually, so there’s no point in avoiding it. Before fusion had been ‘discovered’ we were...experimenting. The results of such made disparities within brain tissue and psychology. Personalities merging, taking over temporarily. Separation anxiety. Withdrawal. At times it’s like you can’t be without them.” Yellow began, “Then, there’s...well, we don’t even have a term for it, but it’s...like if fusing used the power of the keystone to mega evolve, that’s what this would be. When your gem glows for another, they create a pattern of light, which emits a new energy we haven’t been able to harvest enough of to research.”

”Like a gay aura?”

”It’s not- yeah, pretty much.” 

“And the complications?”

”I’m not sure that you’ve come across it, but it’s next to impossible to conce- don’t worry about it. Can’t be proven anyways.”

”So now that we’re done being science gays, what are you really emo about?”

”I fucked up.” Yellow sighed.

”I didn’t know you cursed! - I mean, about?”

Yellow smiled, faintly.

“There aren’t many things I’ve done wrong. Failing her is one of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get you a girl who can do both: have all the Pokémon and have all the mad gay.


	39. how to be a heartbreaker: (pt.3: rule #3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, it’s felt like forever since I’ve posted a chapter, but I’m sure it’s only been a few days. I’ve been busy all weekend, and this week is supposed to be awfully hectic for me, but I’ll try to post almost every day to make up for my absence. hopefully the bit of humor at the end makes up for how dry and The Royal Tennenbaums-esque these last few’ve been.

“Guess you know what you need to do, then,” Sapphire said, rising to grab a shovel to start cleaning up the debris.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Yellow thought to herself, heading towards the ocean until she was fully submerged. She lifted several fingers of Blue’s ship, entering. Half the ship- well, the _half_ of the half that wasn’t found in fractured fragments scattered across the beach - was completely underwater. It was hard enough getting through the endless maze that was once her home, before reaching Blue’s former quarters. 

An air pocket relieved quite a bit of stress, that is, _if_ what she was looking for would actually still be there. Not like she wouldnt’ve scourged the ends of the Earth searching for them. Not gonna spoil it, btw. 

She found the teeny piece of tape that held them to the underside of a shelf in Blue’s wardrobe. The only shelf, in fact, (her library of vibrators were almost entirely unsalvageable - bar one waterproof model that Yellow made sure to pocket for later) had been torn right from the wall. Most of the furniture was destroyed as well. Clothes were shreds of fabric, rippling through the water, weighing down little fish on occasion. During their youth they had spent the majority of time - including nights - at Yellow’s,but it doesn’t mean it stung any less. 

By the time Yellow had made her way back to the surface, sunset was upon her. Less than seven minutes till the sun hit the horizon, letting pretty pinks and brilliant blues reflect across the water. Steven had since occupied himself with some sort of human activity. Probably something mad gay, even for him, giving Yellow an opportunity to directly talk to Blue about this business. The business pertaining to Y being a bit of a dick. 

Yellow walked beside where Blue was sitting, causing her to rise, turning away as Yellow caught her hand. She kneeled, creating an obvious amount of soil to stain her pants. She removed her helmet, allowing the bleach-blonde bob to fall meticulously at her shoulders, placing it beside her. She pulled the piece of tape from her back pocket, unfolding it, revealing a silver-looking ring - it was platinum, actually - worn with age. Yellow slipped it on her partner’s finger, bowing her head slightly, kissing it cordially. _“Oh,”_ Blue sighed, this particular tone being a romanticized ‘get up already’. Her eyes had even glossed, and she beamed, glowingly. Yellow rose, removing her glove, revealing gold version of Blue’s, which had grown tighter, the older she got. _“Oh,”_ Blue sighed, this tone, being a celebratory one, reminiscing of when Yellow had first proposed, during this moment, exactly, nineteen-thousand years ago. “You wanna carry me now, too?” she laughed, though she knew Yellow’d do it anyways. She smiled, pecking Yellow’s cheek from her new height.

“Ready for the Victory Lap?” Blue smiled, wrapping her arm around Yellow’s neck. 

“I _do_ wish you would stop calling it that.”


	40. maneater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess now’s as good a time as ever to start these summaries, 
> 
> -Blue gets carried away with her middle-aged wino executive kink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since every other Bellow fic has them both be gay, in this universe, Blue’s bi. Just overall inclusivity. And no matter what gender Yellow was, I’m sure Blue would be into her gay ass.

”Oh, that _reminds_ me,” Blue glanced towards Ruby and Sapphire, who stood together in the crowd of Gems - and Greg - who’d gathered around them. “You two never did have a proper wedding, did you?” 

“We kinda did, you know. Had the dress. The veil. The flowers. Whole shebang.”  Ruby gestured. 

“But we interrupted, and it would’ve been so _quaint_ without our prescence...”

”Is that your nice way of saying-“ Sapphire began.

”How much _we_ would _love_ to help you have another one, isn’t that right, _darling_?” Blue’s eyes glossed over, glowing again. “Whatever you say, dear.” Yellow sighed. “Then that settles it, we’ll reconvene at five a.m. precisely to prepare, and the ceremony shall start no later than six.”

”Why can’t we just re-do it now?” Amethyst called out, slurping some leftover shrimp cocktail from a glass. 

“We have imminent business to attend to. Besides, I’m feeling terribly ill, awfully warm. Haven’t had my minerals and all. Must be going soon, I’m feeling terribly faint.” Blue waved, prompting Yellow to head towards the warp pad. 

—

“What minerals _are_ you deficient in?” Yellow had laid Blue down on the couch in her suite on Homeworld, and was rifling through sparse cabinets for pill bottles. “Mmm, awful warm in here, isn’t it?” Yellow had been facing the opposite direction, and had only noticed brief rustling behind her, but paid it no mind. “Not what I asked. What other symptoms are you experiencing?” 

 

“Mmm, I dunno...” she trailed off, leaning back on the fainting couch. 

“You don’t..know?” Yellow turned around, noticing a bare-shouldered - at least she’d had the decency to put on a robe, which hadn’t done much considering how short and ill-fitting it’d become over the past nineteen thousand years.

“ _So_?”

”Mmm, I’d feel much better if you gave me that vitamin D,”

”The reference isn’t making it kinkier.”

 

”Maybe I haven’t made myself clear.” Blue set a stemless glass down hard on the countertop, letting a sliver of a crack form. There’s a principal in business. Finance, in particular. Little thing called Liability,” Blue opened a cabinet, resting her hands momentarily on the countertop. “I know what Liability is, Blue. Now what are you bringing all this up for?” Yellow sighed, rolling her eyes. Blue brought out a decanter half full of a swirled deep purple liquid, uncapped it, taking a swig straight from it,before setting it beside her. She stepped towards Yellow, evasively, before poking her once aggressively around the shoulder - specifically in the intraspinatus, for those who wanted to google it. 

“ _Maybe I haven’t made myself clear,_ you owe me. When you decided to invest, you made a commitment. Breaking said commitment was a waste of time and resources. Resources and time are assets. A loss of assets depletes my net worth. A loss of asset becomes a liability. A liability is a debt. And debts must be paid.”

Yellow hadn’t said anything. 

”When debts aren’t paid, interest is accumulated. Eventually patience and available resources run out. And that debt stains your record. Your credit, invaluable.”

”And what must _I_ do to repay _you_ , _My Diamond_?”

“Mmm, I’ll think about it. In the meantime, whatever works.”

”Forgot the ‘ _My Diamond_ ’ at the end.”

“Mmm, I think I’ll make up for it later.”

Yellow had picked her up - twice in one chapter, what is this, gay fluff? - bridal-style again, whisking her off, with just enough time to grab the decanter from earlier. 

“Sure you will.”

 

 


	41. APESHIT a.k.a. Adventures in Facesitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drinkin’ my inhibitions off  
> -wino fantasies fulfilled. blue’s thirst for big dick energy has been quenched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay in school kids. don’t drink out the decanter, get that vitamin D or that vitamin P, cause sometimes you need both and. stay swervin’ on that big body benz. live fast, die young, get those taxes done.
> 
> sincerely, the Breakfast Club

“What do you need, your _Lustrousness_?” 

 

Yellow had successfully broken every plan for the night. Having any sort of interaction while White was on Homeworld was risky. Conversing unnecessarily was risky. Including wearing that harness where her tidd- breasts were exposed completely, and the little titty piercings - not the emo barbell kind, but the bdsm ninja warrior o-ring type - that Blue had made a habit of pulling on. Not in a tear your titties way, but Its a bit gay to explain. 

“Goin’ all out with this kink thing?” Blue straddled Yellow, tinkling the opaque crystals that laid on Yellow’s waist from the matching belt. “Depends? Does my interest in you being on top for once make it less kinky?” 

Blue pushed her against the mattress, hopping off temporarily to find the best way to wrap her thighs around Yellow’s face, as it is an art form and a science, you know. “I think it’d be wrong to criticize a valid kink. Like imo, mutual interest is my fucking everything, and it’s like beyond consenual, like if consent used the power of the keystone to mega evolve, that’s what mutual interest is, at least to me and the rest of good gay tumblr.”

”Mmhm.” 

“I’m not big on being on top, ‘cause honestly my BDE isn’t as big as yours, but it’s still there you know? I mean, I’m still kinda pissed from your general dickheadishness this week, but I can get past that.”

”Mmhm.”

”Like I fux heavy. I know you’re thinking ‘with?’ - but I’ve been dying to say that in forever to someone who isn’t a white mutual - honestly, if you were human you’d prolly be Japanese or something? I just feel like your aesthetic screams Big Trouble in Little China as a bdsm ninja warrior porno - don’t ask. And apparently in all the Human AU fics I’m East Indian, and as awesome as that would be, I’m feeling more of a Latinx, Latina vibe? Like from Peru or Chile or someplace? First of all, I’m thicc as fucc, secondly, I fux heavy, and I might cry all the time, bringing out the inner white girl in me, but I guess that’s a part of my persona—“ she ranted. 

“Blue?”

”Huh? Oh, am I squishing your head too hard? Suffocating you with my thiccass gayass?”

”Uh, _no_. You want me to eat you out or not? Like I live for the liberal feminist sjw in you, but I’m about your pussy aesthetic right now. Not like speculating your identity as a nonhuman goddess.”

”Okay, ^^THISSSSSSS, Two: Saaaame. Three: um, yeah, it’s co-“

”Are you really sitting on my face on tumblr?”

“I’m not _posting_ it,”

”Okay, ^^THISSSSSSS is why I’m _always_ on top.”

”Fine, um, commence fantasy wino executive gay persona.” 

“Form Voltron!”

”Staaaaaaaahhhhppp,” Blue groaned, before taking a big swing of whatever blue-black alcoholic drink that was in the decanter. She leaned forward slightly, before Yellow came to a pause. “Mmm, you can keep doing _that_ ,” 

“You’re breaking character.”

” _Fine_ , you may proceed.”

What happened next was a miracle. There was no grinding of ass into skull. No ‘naughty boy’’s. No squelching, throbbing, or oozing. No cringeworthy emoji moaning. It was simple. Simple enough. Blue sat on Yellow’s face. Pretty sure there was direct pussy on mouth action, but it’s kind of hard to describe when the closest thing to coherent sentences were found in _‘Oh fuck’_ s and _‘fuck me’s_ and weird purr-esque ‘ _Mmhm’_ s. If that isn’t simple enough for you, work out your fetishizing of cartoon characters. (This couch has a waiting list.) Followed by an awkward, yet seemingly appropriate:

” _Oh, Fuck me,_ ” followed by an actual purr. 

Blue rose, turning over, laying beside Yellow. “Good and fucked, now?”

”^^THISSSSSSS is why you’re always on top.” Blue poked her cheek, before nipping at her lips. 

Yellow reached for a blunt in the nightstand’s secret pocket, lighting it, slowly. She inhaled, letting her eyes roll to the back of her head. “Mm, you know you like it when I form Voltron,” she exhaled, blowing smoke rings. “Lemme hit it,” Yellow passed it to her. “Fuckin’ hate the smell,” Blue noted, before sucking inwards, holding it. “Gonna blow your high if you can’t breathe,” Yellow took it back, repeating the process, offering it to Blue. She shooed it away, “I’m good.” 

“You’re art, you know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surfbort


	42. why i love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mostly fluff. plenty references. general gayness. what a tumblr-obsessed liberal feminist sjw and her pussy aesthetic obsessed girlfriend would think was romantic. it may be weird, but then again, you are reading about horny rocks in space (now with 97% more gay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yesssss, Yellow smokes weed. how else do you think she puts up with her emo squad and big gay family?

“What?” Blue turned towards her. 

“You’re art. Like physical fucking art.”

”You getting deep on me? Breaking character?”

”Don’t blow my high-“

”Fine,  _how_ am I art?”

”Like first of all, you’re unconventionally beautiful. Like statues are skinny and muscular and mathematically perfect, and you’re not. There’s just something intriguing about not conforming that I love about you.”

” _Stare into my jelly rolls, and you’ll see the very fabric of the universe_ isn’t the greatest line, btw.”

”Not what I meant. Everything about you, I live for. Your hair’s fucking amazing. I wish you wouldn’t straighten it so often, as the natural curl is an aesthetic. You’re prettier without makeup unless it’s avant-garde, which is my favorite thing to see you in, as you’re passionate about it, and it’s an aesthetic. I love little things you like to do. Like singing and shit. You used to live that and you just don’t do it anymore. You used to like paint and draw and design when Pink was around, and you just don’t. And even though you’re mostly shit at cooking, I’ll still eat whatever burnt mess you stuck in the oven because you made it. Pussy game’s on point all day every day, and that’s a mood. I wish you’d be more confident, you know? I used to be the boring one-“

”You still are.”

”Fine, I’m _still_ the boring one, but I so appreciate everything you used to be, and I want that for you- for _us_ more than anything. And I would totally want you to have my babies or whatever, and we could be like before, but better, and this is borderline ranting, but I just want the best for you and would so appreciate it if you would say something so it wouldn’t be this awkward and I won’t have to keep talking-“

”You’re  dummy stupid when you’re high, but that’s a vibe. I guess I just lost interest in things? I dunno if that’s normal, but I’m not  consistent. And I haven’t had to cook for anyone in a while. Haven’t had any kids around to teach stuff and go places. I guess I’m used to sitting around, watching Basketball Wives on TV, Drag Race on my communicator, and Luke Cage on my tablet while pretending to do paperwork. But I would love to be able to have _your_ kids. Or kid. I just cant feel complete without having a family, I guess.”

”I know. ^^THISSSSSSS is why you’re art, too.”

”I’m a fucking museum, aren’t I?”

”You’ve got like goals and shit. And I don’t. World Domination is a fucking vibe, but I kinda just wanna make you happy or whatever. Wait for White to find a new hobby. Move to the Nude Beach House, or stay in the ships, and travel for the next few billion years. Whatever you’re into, I guess.”

”^^THISSSSSSS is why _you’re_ art.”

”What?”

”You’re passionate about me and what I want, and what I need, and I haven’t had anyone else be that invested in me. So I guess I love you for that. And the fact that you don’t give up on me. You can be a dick sometimes, but I know you care. So that kind of cancels out the dickheadishness.”

”What kind of math _is_ that?”

”Like canceling fractions and stuff? I don’t know why you two put me through school when you knew I’d end up watching tv and being the poster-girl for your empire and all that.” 

“We found it to be important that you understood fundamental concepts that you might need later.”

”Mmm, that’s what I have _you_ for.”

”The basic principles found across all areas of math, including the foundations of modern day calculus?”

”No, boring shit Ill pretend to listen to before convincing you to eat me out again,”

     —————————————

“Get up, Yellow, and hop in the shower.” Blue leaned over top of her. “Mm?” Yellow smacked her lips, realizing she’d drooled all up the side of her face. “ _Mm_ ,” she’d realized Blue hadn’t been topless, or in one of those corset-thingies she’d been obsessed with. “Oh.” Yellow sighed, sitting up, disappointedly.

“Nice dress.” Yellow noted, getting up. Almost forgot she’d left the pvc harness on. “You wanna get me out?” she sat at the edge of her bed. “ _I dunno_ , ^^THISSSSSSS is a vibe.”

“What’s a vibe?”

Blue spread her fingers on both hands, pinching her nipples gently.

“So you’re living for this aesthetic?” Yellow pulled the remainder of the clear straps away from her, tossing them into the laundry basket. “Mmm, once this ‘aesthetic’ takes a shower, I wouldn’t mind it so much.” Blue handed her balled up suede. 

“What’s this?”

”Your suit. You got a half hour before we have to go back to Earth.”

”We’re not _really_ giving them a big gay wedding, right?”

“You’re not really gonna sleep on the couch tonight, right?”

”See you in twenty.” Yellow tucked into the bathroom, snatching the suit.

 


	43. high by the beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay fluff reaches an all time high  
> -gayest wedding of all time, plus some smooth moves~ on Yellow’s part

“Dearly, beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the holy matrimony of Ruby and Sapphire,” Pearl began, standing between them, a Minecraft creator’s guide (the closest thing to a Bible they had, don’t ask) open between her palms. Ruby stood at the altar, anxiously, picking with her suit (they switched this time, since Sapphire wanted a dress this time around. 

On the cliff side, Blue had been arranging a bouquet of bluebells. “She’s seen this one before, B-My Diamond, it won’t be as special,” Sapphire said, whining slightly. “Mmm,” Blue whisked the plain original away, causing Saph to panic, covering whatever exposed areas she could. “Oh, relax, _darling_ , nothing I haven’t seen before. I did _create_ you, you know,” Blue gathered a bit of clouds, fresh sea foam, an assortment of matching flowers, allowing them to swirl around Sapphire’s body. 

“I’m not sure this is scientifically possible, but this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Sapphire squealed, twirling around in the endless cascade of ombré ruffles. “I _try_ ,” Blue smiled, snatching a bit of a cloud - cumulous to be exact - and blowing on it slowly. The bridal march had began, and Peridot had successfully ran through the aisles, dumping baskets of bluebells and white lilies. 

Blue rushed down towards a spot beside Yellow - their presence had attracted an assortment of conspiracy theorists and untrusting Beach City residents - especially since Yellow’s ship was floating halfway above the town, and instagram whores we’re dying to get a picture. Bla bla bla, wedding dialogue etc. 

“You may now kiss the bride. And other bride.” 

 

“Oh, I _always_ cry at weddings,” Blue dabbed a glossy eye. “You’ve only been to two.”

“Okay, in theory, I’d always cry at weddings.”

”Even the Royal Wedding on t.b.?”

”Oh, _fuck no_ , Meghan Mackle’s the antithesis of Black, her parsley-free nonexistent ass and Cracker Barrel-“

”Mmmhmmm?”

“Fine, only big gay weddings.”

 

”Ooh, can we throw the bouquet? Like on t.v.?”

“T.v.? I always thought it was t.b.,” Yellow whispered. 

 

“Um, now we’re gonna toss the bouquet,” Sapphire threw the bundle of flowers into the crowd. 

 

“No fucking way,” 

“Not fair, not fair, not fair.” 

“Yeah, this was rigged!”

”I just don’t know what _could’ve_ happened. Just _happened_ to land right in her hand. Wasn’t intentional, of course, but it was _fate_ , after all.“ Yellow smiled. 

“I call for a re-do!”

”Yeah, they cheated!”

”Big ...Giant...Bullies...”

Yellow shot an I-will-not-hesitate-to-obliterate-your-asses death-glare (now with 97% more gay) in the direction of recent divorcées, salty exes and general bitter bitches. 

“Um, I guess we can eat now, if you think it’s a good time, Ru,” 

“Only if you think it’s a good time, Saph,”

”Well, if-“ 

“I think it’s a good time, and I’m gettin’ hangry!” Amethyst ran down the metal trays of food, opening each one, tossing the lids behind her. 

“Well, we best be going,” Yellow locked arms with Blue. 

“But Nana, Mom-Mom, we were just getting started,” Steven’s eyes glossed over slightly. “I know, dear, but your Nana’s allergic to white Mac & Cheese. It’s not your fault cheese isn’t supposed to be that color. And you seem to be devoid of flavor and seasonings,” Yellow patted his head, patronizingly.

“Besides, I’m ‘bout to get _LAID_ -“ Blue used her ‘ _westsoide_ ’ voice for that one, before receiving a death glare from Greg. 

“I meant my edges, yeah, _that’s_ what we were gonna have Orange and Purple over for...”

”Nice save,” Greg muttered. 

“When will we see you again?” Steven gazed at them, his starry eyes widening. 

“Well, we did leave you with a little present - Ruby and Sapphires’ gift is in there too. You can come visit us _anytime_ you like.” Blue smiled. 

“Mmm, but not _this_ week.”

”Oh yeah, Yellow’ll be too busy popping— these _naps_...yeah, that’s it.” 

“Mmmmhmm. We’d better get onto that...hair-styling soon, you know.”

”Oh yeah, totally. That ship could sink at any minute, so....we’d better...go....”

”Yup.”

’Yeah,”

”Mmmmhmm.”

 

Yellow and Blue headed towards Y’s ship, elbowing and gesturing poor quality memes and references the whole way. 

“You sure have weird grandmoms, Steven,” Connie scooped out a spoon of water-ice. 

“It’s not their fault, they’re horny rocks in space.”

 

 

 


	44. beautiful people, beautiful problems (pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> orgy? Next Time on Dragon Ball Z  
> -character development? hell yeah  
> —plot, I think not

“Isn’t much of a beach house, is it?” Orange smacked the lollipop at her lips. 

 

And it wasn’t, but I suppose that was intentional. It’d been nothing short of a summer chateau, inspired by the likes of Versailles, though Antoinette herself would’ve been jealous of the central air and flatscreens. (Speaking of, ‘Nettie’ which Blue affectionately called her, was buried nearby. She hadn’t been guillotined, just sent on a permanent space vacation to escape her death) It’d been Yellow, primarily, every pillar, every fresco, every column. There’d been one kitchen and four bathrooms, which seemed normal, if you hadn’t considered every other room was part of an interconnected series of living rooms and bedrooms, each of which had a different method of entertainment. 

“No, it is _not_ ,” Purple parked outside, her ship landing in front of the fountain. 

“ _Darlings_ , we’re so _pleased_ you could attend,” Blue smiled, her light hair, which was tied back into a curly ponytail, blew softly in the climate-controlled breeze. The gown she’d changed into was outfitted with ruffles and lace and whatnot, which billowed softly in the same direction. 

“Ah, _you’re_ so pleased they could attend. I kind of have to run out to-“

”Alright.”

”You sure? I mean, I-“

”I said, ‘ _Alright_.’”

Yellow headed in the opposite direction, leaving Orange and Purple awkwardly behind. “So...Blue...I’d ask how things are, but...” Purple trailed off. Obsidians had no definite set traits. Purple had been socially awkward, blunt, but vocal. A series of contradictions. “Nice dress,  though,” she noted, dragging suitcases up the stairwell. It had been a nice dress. “B, you okay?” Orange wrapped a perfectly manicured hand around Blue’s elbow, her tangerine eyes glistening. “Mmmhmmm, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“B, honey-“ Orange began, fully clasping Blue’s hands. 

“Blue, you got any beer?” Purple pushed the suitcases on a lil’ bellhop cart, shoving them, ignoring the crash at the end of the West Wing hallway. “Yeah, check the cooler.”

”B, you wanna go talk or something? P’s good with a beer and Project Runway reruns for a few hours.”

”I know. I think I’ll retire for a while. We can do something tomorrow, though,” 

Orange reached out, but Blue had already headed up to a vacant room. 

———

It was well after midnight when Yellow returned, and Blue hadn’t been smoking the whole time, moping over spilled wine. The six moons shone brightly in the deep blue sky, a fragrant breeze flowed through the surrounding flora. It would’ve been wonderful, if Blue hadn’t been sitting on a maolarian branch, tracing a heart-shaped carving ‘ _B + Y’_  with her fingers.Yellow plopped down beside her, tipping the branch slightly.  

“I _knew_ you’d be out here,”

”Mm,” Blue noted in acknowledgement.  

“You’re not talking to me, now?”

”I am.”

”So?”

”So?”

”Stars, Blue, why do you have to be so difficult?”

”I haven’t asked you for anything but consistency, Yellow. I don’t know whether I’m disappointed in myself for expecting so much of you, or so little of myself.”

”You know it’s not intentional, I just have other responsibilities,”

”I completely understand you have other responsibilities. I haven’t had- I- I _know_ that work will always be your priority. _Somehow_ you used to have time for us. Rather, you used to _make_ it, at least. And I don’t know what I’m doing to upset you, or to make you that- What can _I_ do differently, Yellow? I must not be doing something right,” 

“I have more work now, b-“

”We’ll split it. I can help out with the non-sciencey stuff, and, and diplomatic ventures like I said I would, and-“

”I don’t want you to have to worry about anything, Blue, I-“

”I can’t not know if you’re coming home every night. I can’t sit and wait at the counter and not say anything. I can’t keep hoping that you’ll show up and surprise me, or wait to see you for weeks in a row, I- I can’t live like this, Yellow. Not _again_.”

” _I know_. I know this is late. But _we_ are important to me. I won’t allow any interruptions, _especially_ not during this week. I know how much you care about me, Blue. And I don’t want to be like _her_.”

”The fact that you actually care makes you a million times better. And wanting to change makes you different.”

”Good different?”

 _“Good different_. Now, Geolwe, I believe we have guests to entertain,”

 

 

 


	45. use your heart (pt.2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> refreshing conversation for the mind  
> -sexxxxxxx

Blue leaned back on the enormous couch, Orange laid across her lap, facing upwards. Orange’s dark, mildly messy hair contrasted against Blue’s sheer midnight colored maribou boudoir robe. Not that Orange was more appropriately dressed, considering the sienna shaded lace teddy and matching bedjacket she donned. “ _You like those_?” a sultry voice smirked. Likely Blue’s, seeing as sunlight spilled through the windows, and anytime was prime wine time. “ _Mmhmmm, can I have some more_?” Orange replied, giggling. 

“ _Is that how we ask for things?_ ” 

” _May_ I have some more, _please_?”

Blue nodded slightly, passing a tray of assorted blue fruits to Orange, who sat up. “ _Oh no_ ,” Orange ‘accidentally’squeezed  mao juice, which dripped down Blue’s chest. “Guess I’ll _have_ to take care of it, then,” Orange shifted her position, slightly straddling Blue. “You don’t actually have to, O,  I was j- I was-“

”You were...?” Orange paused from nipping at Blue’s neck, trailing down towards her gem. Orange fidgeted with the main closure of Blue’s robe before coaxing at her inner thighs with her fingertips. Blue tugged slightly at Orange’s distressed victory rolls, unraveling them further, and separating her head lips her gem, creating a suction-like sound.

“Lower.”

” _Mmm?_ ”

She had a habit of petting the- eatingouter? since the receiving party would be the eatingoutee-  _whoever’s_  head, tugging on her hair when they’d gotten too rough - it wasn’t an issue with Yellow, who knew her limits, but Orange was a biter.

“Oh,  _fuck_ ,” 

Orange rose enough to take a spot on Blue’s lap - she was the only one who could, after all, Purple and Yellow’d been far too tall, far too heavy, Purple wasn’t her girlfriend, and Yellow was only affectionate on a whim. 

“Slurped that shit dry, didn’t I?” Orange licked her lips, leaning towards Blue. 

“We’re in character, remember?”

”Oh yeah - Uh, Ca-something-em, was the minetting we par- partook? partaked? whatever, to your liking?” Orange asked in a ‘posh’ accent that came off much more Disney-princess than anything - it wasn’t her fault, exactly, she’d been the youngest, and was obsessed with all the _real_  non-3D princesses (especially Mulan) 

“Quite so, Aura, was most enthralling.”

” _Quite so_ ,” Orange snickered, mockingly. “Do you wish to partake in some post-coital sarcophilous engagement?”

”Pardon? - I have no idea what in fresh fuck you’re saying.”

”Uh, cuddling, I think?” 

“Ohhh, yea- Most _Definitely_ ,”

Orange nuzzled into Blue’s neck, which had been coated in lipstick prints and the a bit of saliva leftover. “You did, indeed ‘slurp  that shit dry’” Blue snickered at the thought. “Do you wish to be reciprocated?” 

“I’m go- Isn’t necessary. The offer is _much_ appreciated, though. I’d prefer to discuss yesterday’s events.”

”Stars, Orange, why do you want to ruin this with feelings?”

”I _thought_ you were all about feelings.”

”I _am_ , it’s- I’d rather believe it’s resolved than dwell on it further.”

”I _thought_ we were supposed to be best friends, B. That means we talk about everything. Not just emo stuff and kinky stuff.”

”We _are_ , it’s- lovers quarrel, is all.”

”What’d she do, not vote for Cardi at the MTV awards?”

”Just scheduling conflicts, is all.”

”Programmed the DVR for a Flip or Flop spinoff instead of the original?”

”What is with you and tv?”

”What is with you and gay angst?”

” _Touché_.”

“ _Look_ ,” Blue sighed, “I’m not trying to shut you out or anything, I just don’t like to think about the bad parts of our relationship. At all. Like, even alone.”

”You do realize that’s some fucked up Stockholm syndrome shit leftover from-“ 

”Blue?” Yellow called from the hall, yawning. “Ah, Caeruleum I wasn’t aware you’d arisen.” Blue shot a ‘wewillnottalkaboutthislater’ look in Orange’s direction. Purple followed a few minutes behind, “I see you two have already started the party without us.”

 “It’s not a party without wine,” Blue rose, leaving her boudoir robe opened, as she headed towards the cellar. When she returned, the others had left, bar Purple, who had set the television on some abysmal nature program.  “P. You can’t possibly be-“

”Interested in the facets of primitive life forces that we’ve distanced ourselves from in the pursuit of perfection?”

”Stars, P, you need to chill.”

”And what could be more relaxing than The Secret Life of Varvorian Sklernovs?”

Blue uncapped a bottle, pouring a glass for Purple, and taking the bottle for herself. “ _Mmm_ , I dunno?” Blue handed her a glass - which was instantly rejected, of course. She leaned behind her, quietly staring over her shoulder. “Did you _want_ something?” 

Blue sucked at the base of her neck, gently. “Did _you_ want something?”

”Are you mocking me?”

”Are _you_ mocking _me_?”

” _Blue_ ,”

Blue plopped down beside her - still hadn’t closed her boudoir robe yet btw- swirling a glass of red. “You should punish me for this.” Purple rolled her eyes, resuming the enthralling docuseries. “Isn’t that Yellow’s job?” she said, as if it was a chore. “You wanna make me earn it?” 

“Make you... Blue, can we just be for once?”

”I am being. Being kinky.”

”But you’re _always_ into it.”

”Like you’re not? Don’t act like you all innocent now, I heard about your little _thing_.”

”Thing?”

”That _thing_ you do with Orange?”

”Ohhh, yeah, I don’t talk about that.”

”What, first rule about BDSM Ninja Warrior Fight Club is we don’t talk ab-“

”Would you shut up for once?”

”Oh yeah. Totally. Sure, I can be quiet.” Blue lied, sitting still long enough to hear the posh narrator drivel on about labor camps. She snatched the remote quickly, and changed the channel before running off. 

“You b-“

”Ah ah ah,” Blue tutted. “I’ll only give it back if you catch me.”

”What? I can’t watch SLVS? I’m stuck on Flip or Flop? And it’s not even the good one!”

”Guess you’ll have to get me, then.”

Purple jumped over the couch, chasing after her. (Insert Tom & Jerry esque chase scene, which ended in Blue falling backwards on a couch.) Purple jumped on top of her, snatching the remote. 

“Mmmhmmm. thanks, love.”

Blue angled her legs, spreading them slightly. “Mmm, no thanks love.”

”You sure? I can see your nippies right through your lil’ top.”

”It’s not lil. Also, no to nippies.”

”Half your boobs are out, and you’re practically wearing a belt over your boobs.”

” _W H A T?_ yours are out more than mine are, and- and..”

” _And_?”

”You’re _too_ distracting.”

”And what’re you gonna do about it?”

Purple got off Blue’s chest, before rolling her torso down the sofa. “ _Dude_ , that hurt.” Blue rubbed her forehead, sitting up. Purple plopped down on the sofa, pulling Blue down with her, - that bed jacket was _long_ gone, by then. 

“Told you you were into it.”

Purple turned her over her knees, where a newly anxious Blue whispered ‘Oh shit.’ 

“Look, Blue, could you not be so-“

”Can you just punish me already?”

Purple had realized what she had done. Rather, allowed to happen. A moment of impulsiveness and fragility on Blue’s part had placed her in a rather curious position. 

“That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it?” Purple smirked, teasing at her (what is the least cringe word for slit?). Soft moans escaped from Blue’s lips, and Purple stopped shortly. “ _Please_...”

Purple let down her open palm, leaving a purple-ish print on Blue’s butt. Repeatedly. Until little bruises had formed, and Blue’s eyes had glossed over slightly. “You’re done?”

”M-“ 

“I didn’t hear you.” Purple raised her hand again.

”Mmhmm,” Blue nodded.

Purple smiled softly, stroking Blue’s hair with her free hand. And slipping her fingers inside her. “ _Mmm_ ,” Blue moaned, before Purple removed them abruptly. 

“We have other matters to attend to,” she hinted towards the boner she’d shapeshifted ‘into’. 

As soon as Blue raised her lips, Purple had pulled her hair slightly, taut enough to readily control her pace. They had been...engaged in said activities for quite some time before Purple threw her head back, relaxing. 

“Good dick?”

” _Good_ dick.”

“Sorry for the bruises, B.”

”Eh, I’ve had worse.”

”We cool?”

”Yeah, you can go back to the Secret Life of Shitty Creatures now,” Blue handed her the remote, smacking her on the ass, playfully. 

“Hey, what was that for?”

”My booty looks like a blueberry.”

”I’m not even- I can’t- I just- _W H Y???”_


	46. A/N A PSA

the last chapter was dialed down a lot, and refocused/edited. Things are back to smut & fluff.

also, there was an episode I forgot to include in this headcanon  _Legs from Here to Homeworld_  where White Diamond is debuted/locks steven in a room like she’s  Mother Dearest or some shit. Canon characterization of her being patronizingly cold and a bitter bitch.

So, from here on out, the events that took place in  _Legs from Here to Homeworld_ will be implied/referenced as I don’t feel like rewriting a chapter and posting a new one in the same day.

For anyone that hasn’t seen that episode: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6ptigt

(it’s free, no sign up, and no viruses, and this is literally how I watch SU now that I don’t have CN)

>>thanks everyone for kudos & comments, even just reading is soooo appreciated ❤️


	47. god is a woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when it’s all said and done, you’ll believe god is a woman  
> -what happens when you mix blue and yellow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, this wouldn’t be possible w/o the advice & guidance of psychedelicbubblegum. she’s an amazing writer on here & ff, and i so appreciate her ^v^

“I haven’t seen you yet this whole vacation,” Yellow sighed, setting a glass of orange juice - presumably - on the countertop. “Heard you and Orange had a good time, though,” Blue sipped from Yellow’s cup. “We didn’t actually get around tdio doing anything. I got in a lecture and a game of Heads Up before ‘naptime’”

”Mm, naptime’s always been her favorite — what’d you get a lecture on? Seems so unlike her.”

”One of the ‘dont fuck this up or I’ll fuck you up’ speeches.”

”Stars, I’ll talk to her about it later.”

”It’s fine. _Besides_ , I thought _we_ could do something later.”

”What’d you wanna do? I’ll ask P if she wants to get in on it too.”

”I meant _us_ , Blue. _Just us_.“

”Oh. Um, whatd you wanna do? They’re playing Uno right now, so we could borrow Sorry if you want.”

”We could go somewhere? If _you_ want to, of course. I don’t wanna take you away from them.”

”Of course I do, babe. Where?”

 

Yellow grabbed Blue’s wrist, whisking her outside, and down the stairs, before hoisting her into the tree from the other day. Yellow made her way up the branches, before climbing in the treetops. “ _Where_ are we going?” Blue trudged through the leaves awkwardly. Yellow pulled down a patch of material from the sky. It was quite similar to cloud, kind of, but different? Picturesque and serene, complete with harps, and cherubs sporting fresh fruit and wine. 

“Do you carry saltines?” Blue asked Merline, a curvy one with deep chartreuse skin. 

“No, your Lustrousness,”

”Tide Pods?”

Yellow facepalmed. “Don’t answer that.”

“So, your _Heaven is a Place on Un-Earth_ fantasy and angelic eleganza retreat has a purpose, right?”

”Wouldn’t be _Heaven_ without one.” Yellow smiled to herself, opening golden gates, revealing a _Cleopatra (1963)_ -esque bathhouse, where nymphs and cherubs ran about, running things. “Oh, this is _goregeous_ , Yellow.” 

“Yours if you want it.”

” _Oh, really?_ You mean it?”

“Of course, darling. Now, I’ll be back in a few hours. Delphine and Zahra will show you around.” Yellow pointed to two clothed cherubs, who donned matching satin robes and gilded sandals. “So, Delly, Zara, you gonna show me around?”

———————————

“Where is she?” Yellow asked, returning to the bathouse. Odessa and Flora peeled back the sheer entryway, where Blue’s silhouette was framed against another layer of fabric. Yellow entered silently, peeking through the curtain to reveal a naked Blue, being showered in oils and flowers by Delphine and Zahra. A pink one was on the harp, several yellow ones giggled as they fed her fresh berries. 

Yellow had allowed a squeak to escape her lips when the entourage of cherubs had began engaging in pursuits and positions of all sorts. “Your Lustrousness, there’s an intruder!” Zahra exclaimed, prompting the other nymphs to surround her. Tossing a thin sheer ensemble into the cluster- it was, in fact that diaphanous little number from a few chapters ago. 

Yellow clapped patronizingly, smirking. “For future reference, ladies, it’s not very effective when all of you are disrobed.” She tickled he underside of Delphine’s chin, playfully. Her giggling was like tinkling bells. 

“ _Darlings_ , I believe I should deal with this intruder at once.”

Playful banter and giggling was heard from the crowd as they dispersed, leaving the Diamonds alone. Blue sauntered over towards Yellow, taking time to exaggerate each step. “Mm mm mm,” she tutted. “You’re staring, Yellow.” 

“Mmhmm.” she nodded incoherently. 

Blue walked over towards the dining table, pulling out Yellow’s seat before sitting on her lap. “You know what they say about the abyss...” Blue sipped on a glass of a foreign beverage that was a bit huskier than wine, but far more inebriating. “Mmm, it stares back at you?” her partner guessed. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the question. “Nevermind.” Blue stated flatly. 

“Anything in particular you wished to discuss?” she asked, adjusting her place, to enable maximum contact between her chest and Yellow’s. Considering all that stood between the two was a thin layer of fabric. “N-No-“ Yellow began. “Awful warm in here isn’t it?” Blue noted, letting the robe slip off her shoulders, slightly. “Y-Yes, it would appear so.” 

Blue unbuttoned Yellow’s ‘blouse’ - it was more of a glorified dress shirt, actually. Her bra- a practical plain push-up, remained. “Y-You’re not going to get that?” 

“What? - I thought we were brainstorming on how to get my ship off Earth.”

”Well-“

”Unless you _wanted_ to do something different, that is.”

”Well, I want what you want, so whatever you want’s fine with me.”

”Because that sounded _so_ convincing.”

“I don’t know what I want,” Yellow lied. 

Blue started sucking at the area connecting her neck and chin, trailing down her upper abdomen, grinding against her, causing a rise in her briefs. Blue paused, looking for nonverbal consent within Yellow’s actions and attitude. “B-“ Yellow sat up in her seat. “Unless you were ready to...you know, I think we should-“

”I am.” Blue rose momentarily, long enough to remove Yellow’s undergarments. 

She straddled Yellow, completely this time, consuming the majority of Yellow’s entirety before determining an appropriate pace. Originally, she grabbed Yellow’s upper arms to steady herself. Eventually, she’d regressed to gripping the area around her shoulder-blades leaving imprints and scratches. This pressed them closer than before. She tensed, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, before coming down from her orgasm. Yellow followed, ableit being far more subtle and a tad restrained. 

“ _My Diamond,_ in the words of Caeruleum, that was the best lay in-”

”Five thousand years?”

”Maybe, ever.” smiled, attempting to get up on her own. 

“You okay?”

”Yeah, my legs are numb, though.”

Yellow wrapped Blue’s legs around her waist, prompting her to wrap her arms around her neck. When they arrived at Yellow’s room, she laid Blue on the left, before laying down beside her. 

“Thanks, Yellow, I really needed this.”

”Good dick?”

” _Good dick_ , but I meant, I needed us to have a thing.”

”Good dick has always been our thing.”

”You know what I meant.”

”I do. I just- I need for you to feel wan- needed, Blue. I don’t want to end up like before. I don’t want you to be under appreciated or undervalued or-“

”I love you too.” Blue whispered, pecking Yellow’s cheek, before turning over, wrapping Yellow’s arm around her waist, snuggling her back against Yellow’s chest.

 

 

 

 


	48. drunk in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why can’t I keep my fingers off you, babe?  
> -ménage a trois?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos, i appreciate every single one ^v^

“Delphine, darling, take care of Blue while I’m gone, alright?” Yellow waved, dismissively. Lenny giggled, curling a stray strand of mauve hair behind her ear. She returned to Yellow’s room, which appeared to be empty. 

On an unrelated note, all of the cherubs were incredibly prepossessing, and Delly hadn’t even been the most goregeous. She hadn’t been the most musically inclined, the most artistic, the hardest worker, _or_  had the most ‘sexpertise’. Yet she seemed _awfully_ familiar. Her finger curls were impeccable, her eyes bright, and her demeanor was well-known. 

“Oh, Delly, _dear_ ,” Blue smirked, bearing a bottle of last night’s liquor and a two glasses. She’d been hiding outside of her peripheral vision. “Oh, Your Lustrousness, sorry I hadn’t seen you, I-“

”You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Alexandrite.”

”Well, her Luminance instructed me to take care of you during her absence, so please, let me.”

”Say, Dellt, you watch Drag Race?”

” _Do I!_ ”

——————-

“You drink, Delphine?” 

”On occasion, I’ve been known to.” she smiled, sitting beside Blue as they finished debating theories. 

“ _Known_ to? You’ve got a reputation around here?”

”I’m _definitely_ not a lightweight.”

”I haven’t lost a drinking game yet, either.”

”Are you challenging me, _My Diamond_?”

”Are you up for a challenge, _Alexandrite_?”

Blue set out six bottles each. “The time is now 9:35 p.m. First one to finish all six bottles of wine - or whoever’s closest, wins.”

”Mmkay. What’s the prize?”

”Prize? Hmmm, winner picks a prize from the loser. Deal?”

”Deal.” Delly pride open her first one, still grinning as she gulped the remainder down.

Three hours later, Blue and Lenny were giggling and rambling about.

“You know...I’m still gonna win.” 

“Mmm-mmm-mmm.” Blue tutted, waving her finger, silliedly. Delphine waved her finger back, staring directly in Blue’s face, before pointing to some stray droplets. “You got...you got some sploosh on your splace.”

”Ohhhhhhhhhhh _sploosh_. _spl_ oosh. sp _loosh_. Wait, _where_?”

Delphine pointed, and in Blue’s attempts to resolve it, she ended up smearing it around. Perhaps it was her stupor, perhaps she hadn’t seen a need to grab a paper towel. In any event, she leaned in, and licked the wine from Blue’s lips, before pausing for mutual acknowledgement of consent.

“I’m ho-“ Yellow began, dumping several bags by the bedroom’s entryway curtains. A dark-haired taafeite scurried behind to gather them. “I take it you’re being taken care of?” Yellow smirked to herself. Blue and Delly rose to greet her, each taking a hand and leading her further into the chambers. By the time they’d reached the innermost sanctum, they’d been giggling and glowing in all their natural splendor. Yellow plopped down at the edge of the canopy bed before leaning back. Blue had remained in front of her, on her knees, _again_ , and Delphine had been behind her long enough to ‘lower’ herself gracefully. 

Dramatic guttural moans bellowed - ¿see what I did there? - from the depths of Delphine’schest. She had a penchant for theatrics, and these hadn’t fallen short of pornst—er _adult acting_ skills. Between the high-pitched _fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, oh, fuck_ ‘s and the obvious slurping, Blue had been keeping her laughter to herself the whole time. She had snickered accidentally once, nearly choking on Yellow’s recently released cum. 

“ _Sploosh_.” Lenny laughed, rising. 

“Somehow I knew you two’d get along,” Yellow scooted back, Delly and Blue joining her for some post-coital cuddling. “How?” Blue asked, snuggling against Yellow’s firm frame. “You do realize you look alike, right? And have similar interests? Similar voices? Similar habits? You’ve got Blue skin, she’s got Mauve, you both have curly hair that you straighten. Both have much gay and much aesthetic but low wow? Both are horny rocks in space....”

”Nuh-Uh.” B and D pouted simultaneously. “We’re _nothing_ alike.”


	49. wild thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wild, wild, wild  
> -gay fluff before the big ruveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> initially the whole sex slave/pet play thing was what I had in mind, but after I saw how creepy these fics can get, light bdsm is what I’m leaning towards.

It’d been several weeks since that little rendezvous at the nude beach house. Three, since Blue and Yellow had an actual conversation that lasted longer than the initial formalities. They hadn’t had sex once. Or come close. They’d been falling back in a pattern, again, and neither of them had enjoyed the stagnancy. 

“Yellow?” Blue smiled into the communication device. 

“Mmm?”

”I _know_ we haven't been quite as close, lately, but since you’ll be free this weekend, I was thinking we’d head over to Amazonite’s workshop on Csusplex Delta? Chill if we’ve got time?”

”I’ll take off Friday, and we can head out then.”

—————

(Friday)

”Your Luminance, Your Lustrousness, to what do I owe the pleasure?” An uppity Spinel bowed. “Stop the sniveling, Spinel. We’re here for Amazonite.” Yellow rolled her eyes, which prompted Blue to squeeze her arm slightly. “ _Oh_. They’re in the studio.” she sounded ever so cordial, but the bitter base in her voice was incredibly disrespectful. 

The pair headed arm-in-arm inside the luxurious villa, decorated in all sorts of mod rainbow paintings and furnishings. “ _My Diamond_ ,” the Amazonite beamed, curtsying. “Diamond _s_.” Yellow hissed, curtly, ensuing an awkward moment. 

“Well, your Luminance, you can sit here, and her Lustrousness will be right with you.” she nodded towards several egg-shaped pod-esque chairs suspended by an antigravity field. Yellow sat still for a moment, before twiddling her thumbs, awkwardly - Blue forced her to leave her communication device on the ship, this once. 

Momentarily,  Blue returned, donning a simple, if not slightly revealing wrap silk charmeuse gown. That’s all it was. Plain, simple, no embellishments. Nothing. 

“Yellow, what do you think?” Blue turned slightly, disappointed in how ill-fitting it was around her ass. 

“It’s _nice_.” she barely looked up. Too occupied with all that twiddling to notice its sole purpose was to measure clients appropriately. 

The robe fell to the floor, revealing her bare frame. She had gained a few pounds, but otherwise maintained her inherent youthful glow and figure. Amazonite pulled out the tape measure, sending several small gems to wrap around her bust, waist, and hips. With every tightening, Yellow inadvertently darted her eyes in another direction, yet found herself regressing- not enough to appreciate the living art before her, though.

“So?” 

“You’ve grown a bit since your last fitting, but if I adjust our recent work, it should fit marvelously.” Amazonite noted, before heading behind a thick velvet curtain. Rustling was heard, until eventually, Blue emerged, in a midnight colored set of full garters and stockings and a teddy as well. She pouted, sauntering towards Yellow, before taking her rightful spot on her lap. “ _So_?” She stroked the right side of her face. “S-So?” 

“You don’t like it?” Her voice faltered, the hint of confidence lost. Yellow left several kisses trailing from Blue’s chin to her lips, sucking gently before coaxing her tongue inside. She ran her hands down the side of Blue’s teddy, before teasing around her thighs. Blue’s nipples firmed and became pert beneath the corsetry. Yellow paused, breaking their trance. “Can you wrap it now?” she asked Amazonite, who’d awkwardly tried to avoid their antics. “Yes, My Diamond.” they scurried behind the dressing curtain, Blue following behind. 

When she reappeared, she hadn’t changed. “You’re not taking it?” 

“Oh, we are, I just thought I’d wear it now, instead of later.”

”You do realize there are gems outside, don’t you?”

”You do realize I don’t give a-“

Amazonite’s grin widened, thinking these antics would make for a great fic. “That will be all.” Yellow took Blue’s arm, heading outside. Gasps and stares, along with the occasional camera flash ensued on the exterior of the villa.

”What made you want to wear _this_ outside?” Yellow asked, when they returned to her ship. “Mmm, I dunno. I thought I’d wear it for you for today.”

”Did you have anything in particular in mind?” Yellow raised a brow, sipping on pure black coffee - which was known to her as ‘plain black sauce’ as she had a thing for hating Earth-things. 

”Whatever you want works for me.” 

“I was going to suggest inviting Purple and Orange over, but I have something else in mind.”

”Is it from the sexlist?” 

“I- Yes, it happens to be from that list.”

”So?”

”#21:-“

”Dont even say it.”

”You don’t want to?”

”Of course I do, but I- I dunno, I’ll feel embarrassed just thinking about it.”

”If you don’t-“

”It’s a soft limit, I just- promise me you won’t be upset if I’m not good,”

”I’m not worried, Blue. And _even_ if you aren’t, we’ll do something else.”

” _Mmm_ ,” Blue nuzzled into Yellow’s neck. “So, when did you wanna start?” 

“I’m gonna get changed first.”

When Yellow had returned, she donned a harness - much like the one from when Blue was a top - and her bob was loosely braided back. Blue had been sitting on the floor in front of the t.v., watching _The Hunchback of Norte Dame_ whenshe heard the familiar clicking of the patent leather heels on the tile. She turned. 

“ _My Diamond_ ,”


	50. heaven in hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a crimson headache, aching blush  
> -nsfw. definitely some mutual entertainment, boundaries tested, but everything turns out alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aftercare eventually, I promise.

Yellow gestured a silent _Come Here_ , prompting Blue to scurry from her pile of sweet and sour twizzlers and Big Gulps and head into Yellow’s room. 

After tying the blindfold - a quilt of Hermès scarfs - Yellow wrapped her arms around Blue’s waist before resting beneath her shoulder blades. She trailed sloppy hickeys down her collarbone, and onto her gem, which had retained a dim glow for several weeks. A soft moan had escaped Blue’s lips, her gem brightening significantly. Yellow broke their trance, before pushing Blue backwards, landing on their bed. 

_I want you to do something for me_

Blue nodded, leaning forward towards her waist, before enveloping her entirety, suffusing her, softly. Yellow had refused to allow any sign of enjoyment to manifest, only running her fingers through Blue’s hair to continue the endeavor. When she’d finished, she patted a spot closer to her, causing Blue to sit up, scooching further towards her. 

_What do you want?_

Blue fidgeted awkwardly, not used to having to rely on Yellow for such things. “ _Here_.” She felt for one of Yellow’s hands, interlacing their fingers, and reaching to finger herself. “You may.” Yellow retracted her hand, inciting a questioning gaze. 

_On your own._

Blue hesitated, before Yellow gripped her chin, squishing her lips together.  _Did it sound like you had a choice?_ Blue spread, slightly, teasing her clit. She envisioned Yellow, who’d typically been the flustered one, watching, matching her rhythm, becoming increasingly aroused.  _That will be all._ She stopped, desperately, pleading with small whimpers. “ _Please_?” 

_Did you have permission to speak?_

“N-No-“

_Then what made you think it was acceptable to do so without permission?_

“I- I don’t know, I-“

_I should punish you for this, shouldn’t I?_

Blue heard Yellow walk off, before retuning with several objects.  _Spread._ Blue opened her legs further, biting her lip out of anxiety. She felt soft vibrations, as Yellow continued to overstimulate her. She repeated the process, before Yellow had begun to introduce butt plug, before Blue started blubbering. “Red. Red. Red-“ Yellow pulled it out - it hadn’t been that deep anyways. “I’m sorry, Yellow, but I can’t, I can’t, _I can’t_ again.” her voice broke, nearly choking. Yellow pulled up her blindfold. “It’s fine, it’s fine, _you’re fine_. I’ll clean up and we can-“

”I don’t want to be done, done- it’s just I don’t think I’m ‘ready’ to do anal again.”

”You sure you’re good?” Yellow asked,

”Mmmhmmm. Besides, _I want you to do something for me_.” she smirked, leaning back. Yellow climbed back on top of her, gripping the underside of her thighs as she (find a better word for thrusted) inside her. They nipped at eachothers’ necks, cascading towards their gems, before repeating the process until they’d both been satiated. Yellow left a lip-print in the center on Blue’s gem.  _My Fucking Diamond._

“Couch good?” Yellow rolled over. “I mean, I’m comfy here, but some sweet & sour twizzlers and a big gulp would be good.” Blue patted Yellow’s ass patronizingly, sending her off. When she returned eventually, Blue had leaned over the side of the bed, vomiting into a trash can. “Blue, you okay? Is this ‘cause of earlier? We-“

”N-No, I’m fine, it’s passed.” she sighed, lifting her head up slightly. Yellow wiped the crust from the side of Blue’s mouth with the end of her shirt. “You’re dressed?”

”Yeah, I got called in again, but if you’re not feeling well, I’ll-“ 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Blue pecked Yellow on the cheek, buttoning her shirt, as Yellow pulled on some pants. She walked Yellow out to her pod, giving her a kiss goodbye. She waited until she had pulled off for good, before searching for her communication device. “Purple?” she called out, before losing her balance again.

“Schedule a mineral deposits assessment for tomorrow.” 


	51. real one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> messed around and found a real one  
> -green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this chapter’s so short and so boring. It’s mostly there to give a bit of background before the next bits of the story, where Fameblue becomes a main ship as well.

“Hey,” Blue said info the communication device. “Can we talk?”

”I’ve got a few minutes now, if-“

”Whenever you get back. I’d rather do it in person.”

”That works for me. Besides, I wanted to ask you about something too.”

”See you.” 

—————

“Oh hey, someone’s home early.”

”Yeah, I figured it’d be-“

”What do you want?

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to renew our vows. I’ve been thinking about it since the wedding, and I think it’s be good to have everyone together again,” Yellow had been overly excited, and had been quick to set her things down, sample dinner, and broke out the bridal magazines. She was obsessing. _Again_. Blue’s eyes glossed over. “If you don’t think it’s a good idea, we don’t have t-“

”I do, I do-“

”Well, I do have a location in mind, so all we need is a new dress from Amazonite, and catering, of course. Were you thinking-“ Yellow began, before noticing Blue’s silence. “Oh, didn’t you have something to share, too?”

Blue looked incredibly anxious, and had broken away from Yellow’s embrace - the whole shoulder blade shtick. “Are you alright?”

”I’m pregnant, Yellow. I took the maximum amount mineral tests over the past few days, and almost all of them were positive. But the good news is, Purple can come back in two to three days and we can... _you know_ , and we won’t have to deal with all this. _We_ as in, if you do still want to be together afterwards.”

”Don’t you want to keep it?”

”Well, _of course_ I do, I wasn’t sure if you’d let me. If you do, you won’t have any obligations or anything, and-“

”Perhaps I should have phrased it more appropriately. We don’t have many more millenia before we can’t. It would only be logical choice.”

”If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

 _It’s my way of saying I do want to_. “ _Of course_ I do.”

”But what about White- on the off chance it survived, what would happen if she-“

”Well, we must have a plan, then.” She reached into a closet, pulling out blank paper, listing different possibilities and ways to avoid White’s wrath.

Eventually they had come to a consensus - insert elaborately drawn anime scene -

 

First, they’d head over to the Zoo, enlisting the talents of Holly Blue Agate and her Impenetrable Gay Army- I mean, Forty Thieves, I mean- the Famethyst. These gays would find an appropriate location to wait out however long this process would take. 

Then, Purple would occasionally visit, so any medical help needed would be available. 

And there were probably more steps after that, but there were too many Codename: Kids Next Door references to count as comprehensible. The two of them spent the night drawing out plans, before drifting into slumber. Whatever was to come of this would not be easy.


	52. gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is not a dream  
> -introducing the gayest of all time: holly blue agate

Clicking on the tiled floor was unfamiliar this time of year. There hadn’t been another scheduled zoo inspection for another hundred years. Besides, Blue called months in advance before a visit. _Must’ve been a dire emergency in order for her to arrive unexpectedly,_ Holly thought. The Famethyst was convinced Blue was either on her period, experiencing a depressive episode, or it was an off season of Drag Race. The latter was correct. 

“Your Luminance, Your Lustrousness, may I just express what an honor it truly is to be graced by your presence-“ Holly Blue began.

“Believe me, Agate, if I wanted groveling, there’d be a different blue gem doing it.”

A blush spread across Holly’s cheeks as she composed her thoughts. As much as she didn’t mind the idea- in fact, she’s delivered some top-notch fanfiction on it, she had not desired to set off an unprofessional air. 

“My apologies.”

”No problem, Holly. We hadn’t meant to be so curt. In fact, we wished to request your assistance on a matter most... _private_.” Blue said, dramatically. Awkward silence ensued. “What part of _private_ did you not understand?” Yellow tapped her foot impatiently. 

A sudden bout of courage had burst inside her. “Anything you can say to me can be said in front of my Amethysts.” she declared, causing the members of the Famethyst in the immediate vicinity to peek from behind the entrances and doorways now deemed hiding places at this spectacle. 

“Well,” Yellow began, her face scrunching up as if she were to poof Holly for this insolence. She cursed under her breath, mumbling about how standards have dropped and business bullshit terms before a firm hand was placed atop her own.  _Shhh, Yellow, you’ll upset the baby._ Was heard, followed by eye-rolling and an exasperated sigh.

“I suppose it does involve them as well. I- _We’re_ expecting.” Blue began. 

“Expecting...a tour? an update?” Holly listed numerous possibilities before being interrupted by an annoyed Yellow. 

“A child.” 

“Oh, _Oh, Stars,_ congratulations, My Diamonds, but what does that have to do with us?” Holly asked. “We need you to select an appropriate location for us to... _you know_ , until it’s born. And of course you will be in attendance-“ Blue began before being interrupted. “Forgive me, My Diamond, but I simply cannot abandon my Amethysts. I’m afraid-“ Holly started off. “Of course your most trusted assistants would accompany you.” Blue  continued. 

“You have twenty-four hours to decide a location and your companions. I suggest you choose wisely. Carefully. As any errors, any fuck-ups, will not be tolerated. Did I make myself-“

 _Yellow._ Blue pinched her partner’s arm. “I’m sure whatever you decide, and whoever you bring will be most appropriate.” 

—————

_Did you hear that? We’re getting a vacation!_

_Do you think Holly will pick me?_

_I heard she’s only bringing two._

 

Holly hadn’t been approached by anyone, but the constant chatter surrounding her had been more than enough. Indeed, she _had_ wanted to bring everyone. She’d miss them all dearly. Even the _humans_. She had a place in mind- some odd ‘planet’ of sorts that traveled between galaxies almost at random. The hard part was picking the right people. She had favorites, _everyone_ does. She wanted Little Voice, even though she knew what she had to do: Lock herself in her room, binge watch Disney movies, and pig out on slim jims  & big gulps.

Precisely one hour and nineteen minutes later, she emerged from her quarters, before returning to the lobby. “Attention, everyone,” she said, softly, as the Famethyst came to her  from different directions. She headed into the human enclosure, everyone following. Those who’d been in there had finished up before joining the others.

“Most of you know that My Diamond- _Our Diamond_ has called upon us  with a rather urgent task. Unfortunately, that means I have to leave for a bit. I’ve been permitted to take some of you with me, but I’ve decided on taking two.” The gems had conversed amongst themselves, hoping to be chosen, before Holly spoke again.

”This competition, I believe, is the most fair, as all of you have an equal chance of winning. We’ll have two divisions- those standing to my right are in the first, and those to my left are in the second. In pairs you all will proceed-“ she began before being interrupted by a faceless voice - at least one she didn’t recognize. “to fight to the death?” 

Holly scoffed. “To fight. Fairly. No weapons. No advantages. The winner from the final pair in each division will accompany me.” 

_Not fair, not fair, not fair!_

_You know she’s only doing this so she can pick-_

_Dont say that, I’m sure it’ll be-._

“Silence.” Ellie called, from the top of a larger rock. “Bring back my girls.” Two unnamed Amethysts peeled back a curtain of leaves, revealing two plateaus, separated, and both surrounded by a shallow moat of freshwater. “Two at a time. C’mon Chip. You’re up first. Bee, baby, don’t think I didn’t see you. Slide those baby hips ‘ova here. Dee, darlin’ it’s you and Boo on number two. Ladies and gender non-conforming individuals, let’s get ready to tumble!” 

—————

 

 


	53. go the distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8XJ v. Skinny

**Jay’s P.O.V.:**

_I can’t believe how fucking close I am to winning. I mean, Holly. And me. And some background busybodies - I don’t actually think that of Carnie or Sharky - it’s just, there’s something between me and Holls. At least I think so. I guess you could consider the past few months full of ‘moments’. Not Reese Witherspoon-worthy ones, but still. This could be the one, you know? Like in rom-coms there’s ‘one’ moment for the couple or constel. that solidifies things. And this could be it._

_Skinny’s probably one of my best friends. But I will kick her ass for this._ _Saw her right hook nearly knock one of Chip’s teeth clean out. Practically stomped one bitch straight into the ground._

“You may begin.”

_I wasn’t ready for this. Strategically, that is._ _Fronted first, lunging forward as if she’d start out kicking. In ducking, it gave her more than enough time to get in position, without giving me time to prepare. In movies there’s always some dramatic sound, and whoever’s on the receiving end flies across the room before glancing dramatically back at their attacker. This was nothing like that. When her knuckles hit my cheek, I felt every ounce of power, every bone in her fucking body pour into me. And all I could do was spit blood back out. I can’t take any more to the head. Won’t._

 _“_ You can give up now, Jay. And we can go back to watching 90s chick-flicks when I’m done with Holly.”

I rolled my neck, cracked my knuckles, and brought my fists back up for defense. “You won’t even have her to begin with.”

 _Sixteen punches in a row. Each time I blocked, she ended up on the floor. Seventeenth, she backed up the edge of platform, pausing._ _If she would just teeter - what kind of word is that - backwards, and into the moat, things would be over. And we could get back to How Stella Got Her Groove Back._ _Instead she ran at full force towards me, forcing me to fall flat on my back._ _Oh, Fuck me. I can’t lose. I won’t._

“Don’t be _Clueless_ , Jay. We’ll always know _The Truth About Cats & Dogs_.”

She kneeled in front of me, and leaned forward, as if she was gonna start landing punches, before stopping short. There was no epiphany. No heavenly choir to narrate my enlightening experience. Just my thigh curled around her throat, her pinkened skin blushing into shades of scarlet with increasing opacity. She tapped the ground,thrice, submitting finally. When she sat up, Skinny seemed quite surprised at herself for losing. “H-How did you-?”

“Hey, _Something’s Gotta Give_.” 


	54. gonna fly now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carnie v. Sharky

**Carnie’s P.O.V.:**

I’m not real good at emotions and stuff. At least, not the important ones, anyways. I mainly do things for the aesthetic. But Holly’s so much more than that, she’s an art form, if that makes sense? I mean it doesn’t have to, since these are my thoughts, but still. Art has to be...well, some human book we got in the Library said art was creative activity appreciated primarily for its beauty and emotional power. She’s no naked cherub among angels, but I definitely wouldn’t mind having her in the gardens. Surrounded by roses and water-lilies and pretty music. I don’t love her. At least, not in the way Jay seems to. I just have a sixth sense. I can appreciate art when I see it. And that’s precisely how I’m going to whoop Sharky’s ass. 

“You may begin.”

To be clear, I’m not an artist. But finding weaknesses and exploiting my own strengths is a skilll I’ve learned to master. That makes me a connoisseur. And a critic. Sharky’s biggest weakness is underestimating me. When they called the start,  she stood over me, arms crossed, thinking this would be easy. I didn’t get this far being easy. 

I kicked her in the shins first. I know it’s about hitting vital organs, but I’ll wallow in this victory while it lasts. Groaning, fist rattling, and several curses under her breath prompted me to draw backwards a few steps. She regained her composure, eyes fueled by anger and embarrassment. I’d guess so, as the self-proclaimed ‘butch babes’ ridiculed her from afar. 

Every spar, every lunch, every kick, slicked the plateaud platform further. The simulated rain only made it worse. Being thrown repeatedly against the array of stone hurt less than being pushed off. Hurt less than spitting up water. Than having literal tadpoles in my mouth. Than having everyone go dead silent. There was no obnoxious laughter from the butches. No snickers from unsorted onlookers. Nothing. “Nothing personal.” Sharky extended an arm, which I refused. I spat out the mouthful of swamp water, hissing. 

“Just business.”

 


	55. iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you bleed just to know you’re alive  
> -fluff.

“You know better.” Jay hadn’t even turned to see who’d entered her quarters. She’d been neatly folding her uniforms and casual clothes in her suitcase. Another Jasper, who’d taken the top bunk, turned over, facing the wall to show disinterest in their conversation. “You know I had to win.”

”Didn’t have to be that way.”

”If she had just given up. Or feigned weakness. Or let me win, none of this would’ve happened.”

”If you weren’t such a cunt about your pride it never would’ve been an issue.”

Sharky pulled her own clothes out her cubby from the bunk opposite of Jay’s. She wasn’t _sorry_ , at least in the sense that we know it to be. It shouldn’t have come to this, but it did. And for that, she was regretful. At no point did she question her morals or motivations. Or her entire existence. But it did upset her greatly that she’d embarrassed Carnie that way. Enough to knock on the custodian-closet, coated in flowers from floor to ceiling, where Carnie had arranged a library of books on beautiful things, some human boardgames from XM, and a couple of Kay’s paintings. “Carnie?” Sharky calles out. No response. Something twitched in the corner, behind draped sheets of satin. “She’s not here.” she sniffled. 

“Well, if she _were_ here, I’d want to tell her I shouldn’tve pushed her. Especially in front of everyone.”

”If she were here, she’d say the same. Especially that last bit.”

”If she was here, I’d let her go with Holly instead.”

Carnie turned, her cloak of shimmery robes surrounded an exhausted expression. She rubbed a reddening eye. “ _Really_?”

”I would.”

”If she was here she’d say she knows how much it means to you. And that she still wants to be friends. As long as you agree to stop feeding her tadpoles.” She smiled. 

“And I would have to agree to those terms.” Sharky extended an arm. This time, she took it. “Friends?” Carnie extended a burgundy hand. “Friends.” Sharky shook it firmly. “Somebody’s earned herself an eat-your-ass-free card.” 

“Sorry!,  that’s a Risk I- _She’s_ not willing to take.”

”Oh, you’d rather have a Ticket to Ride?”

”Mmm, didn’t say that either. We can just be cool, even though you have been acting strange lately?”

 _”Yahtzee!”_ Sharky saw herself out, ending this reunion with a victory-dance of the full-body-twerk sort. Plenty of arm pumping and ass exhibitionizing for the scattered, snickering onlookers make fun of. She made her way back to her and Jay (and Ellie, and a Jasper who’d insisted on spending her days in a sleeping bag watching Lifetime movies. Said Jasper had also refused to reveal her name.)

”From all the whooping and hollering I heard from outside, I take it you’ve smoothed things over?”

”I have.”

”Good.”

” _So..._ where’s my reward?”

” _Reward?_ For being a good friend and not a complete cunt for once in your life? For caring about someone in a non-sexual way? For being _normal_?”

Sharky plopped down on her bunk, half-assedly packing her clothes away. “You talk so proper now. Sound just like a _Lady_. Holly Dolly must be rubbing off on you.” - for a second, she almost sounded like Aquamarine. _Almost_.

“She is not rubbing off on me.” Jay pulled her duffel bag over her shoulder. “Oh, you’re too busy rubbing into her for her to rub off on you?” 

The off-colored Jasper from earlier, referred to affectionately in variations of ‘Smurf’ for her bright blue sleeping bag, rolled back over. “That was a bit of a stretch.”

”Shut up, ‘ _Shut-in Smurf_ ’.”

” _Shithead Smurf’s_ more befitting.” Jay scoffed. Sharky snickered, tossing some junk at _Shut-I-_ I mean, _Shithea-_ ah, Sleepy Smurf. 

“Fuck off, Tweedle-dork, and Tweedle-dumbass.”

”Oh, she’s an Azrael, all-right.” Jay placed some of Sharky’s things in her suitcase to combat the organized chaos. 

“I’ve been demoted from _Smurf_?” 

“No, she can be Dr. Strangesnork.” Sharky suggested, dumping toiletries in a side-pocket.

”Why not Gargamel? He’s a quality villain with great taste in real estate, and a penchant for fine dining.” 

“Fine. Sharky’s Gargamel. She always picks the best episodes of House Hunters, and she’s a beast when it comes to eating ass. Pussy too, but ass is best.”

“A bitch can dream,” Sharky mused, before settling on a response. “Still leaves you as a crazed hobbit with deranged habits.”

Sleepy grumbled, holding up ‘the finger’ and rolling back around. “Kinda makes you an Azrael of sorts. Since you’re equally shady. But not as bad.”

”You’re not half bad, you know that, babe?” Jay smiled, as the two headed off towards Yellow’s ship. “Oh, I’ve been promoted to babe, now? You gonna do me like you do Holly? Fuck me like a _Lady_?” Sharky batted her eyes, leaning back dramatically, feigning the need to faint, right into Jay’s arms. 

She dropped her. 

”Don’t push it.”


	56. take five (pt. 1)

 

“My apologies, Holly. We do not have rooms on-board for you, but if it is any consolation, we’ll arrive at the agreed upon location shortly. In the meantime, my Pearl has graciously welcomed you into her quarters. Unfortunately, there are only two guest rooms fit for gems of your stature, so you might have to share. We would permit you into ours-“

”No we wouldn’t-“ grumbled Yellow. 

“ _We would_ , but everything is built to our specifications. It would be a great risk. _Especially_ when you all are so important to us, isn’t that right, Yellow?” 

“Whatever you say, dear.” 

“Now, if you will excuse me, I have urgent business to attend to.”

 

—————

Yellow Pearl had been ‘positively peeved’ at the thought she’d have to _share_ with these Quartzes. But she’d been waiting for the perfect opportunity to request a sabbatical, and if humoring these _Amethysts_ and their Agate meant being polite to inferior- ah, there really _is_ no nice way of saying it, but you get the gist. 

“If you will follow me, you’ll find the dining hall most exquisite.” Blue Pearl smiled at their guests. She had walked arm in arm with her yellow counterpart. 

_She seems awfully familiar with the layout. Do My Diamonds permit inappropriate relationships? Especially those between Courts? Not that I could report such leniency to anyone. Especially when it benefits my - what would this be called? It’s not a harem, since we’re not married with whores, and I’m far from royalty. It’s not exactly a ‘constel’ as the Earth Amethyst - 8XM would call it. Tryst is far more fitting. - tryst. Perhaps they would make an exception for us as well?_

_”_ Would you all be interested in some light refreshments? It’s quite late, so I’m afraid the Scapolites have set everything aside, but we could whip something up for you.”

Someone’s stomach grumbled - probably Sharky’s - but YP’s tone had been incredibly sharp, and her body language incredibly annoyed. Silence. 

“Since we have welcomed you into our quarters, you may enter any available rooms at any time. If you’d rather wait until after you’d unpack to eat, that’s perfectly fine as well,” Blue Pearl smiled softly. Her counterpart’s shoulders tensed, before she rested a calming hand upon them. _Could’ve swore I’ve seen that before-_

They continued down what felt like a neverending hall before reaching an elevator. There were two floors below this one, and one above. The guest rooms were on the first sublevel, but were surprisingly styled similarly to the hall. Not quite glamorous, but refined elegance? Immaculate, in terms of cleanliness, and ample in terms of size. If she had been asked to evaluate - not that she hadn’t been silently judging things already - they surely would’ve received high marks. _Maybe even an A. Plus. Scratch the plus, because of the shoddy customer service._

The Pearls dismissed themselves, leaving Holly and the Amethysts alone. 

“There’s only two guest rooms unlocked, so how are we splitting things up?” Jay asked, swinging her duffel bag over her shoulder,. “I’ll take the second one.” Sharky rushed into the second of the two, closing the door swiftly behind her. 

“I _was_  going to mention that bit with Carnie, but _that_ seems to be unnecessary.” Holly began pulling her suitcase behind her, before Jay took it. Holly opened the door, revealing a lavish canopy bed shaped quite similar to Earth’s sun. The walls were windows to outer space, so it appeared as if night was everlasting, and the Versace-esque solar frescoes on the ceiling’s glass maintained this façade. Jay tossed her duffel bag on _their_ bed - it felt _weird_ to consider it theirs, but _good_ _weird_. 

“Are you gonna actually talk to her, or never explore your subconscious feelings towards her?”

”What is this, a psych eval? You gonna ask me about my psychosexual issues? Or should I stare at some ink blots first?”

”I’ll have you know that I am  _more_ than a gorgeous ass.” 

“I wasn’t aware.”  Holly began unpacking her things, and Jay followed. 

“There’s no way you hadn’t noticed my dazzling personality, general gravitas mixed with overall badassery, and my muscly goodness.”

”Muscly isn’t a word. And you don’t even know what gravitas is.”

“You still have a type. And gravitas comes from the Latin root ‘gravy’ which also relates to gravity.”

”Yeah.... _no_. My type uses proper grammatical syntax.”

”One, I never listed good grammar as a selling point. My gorgeous ass makes up for that. And two, best out of four.”

”Five, actually, and ‘my type’ understands basic fractions. And none of those things are categories that I measure.”

”Since I have no concept of time, no understanding whatsoever of Latin, grammar, or gravitas, and have not passed fourth grade math, so we can go on the record to state that I’m _not_ your type. 

“Mm, I never said that. You may not know the difference between 3/4ths and 4/5ths, but your dazzling personality, general badassery, muscly goodness and gorgeous ass make up for it.”

”So I _am_ your type?”

”Very much so,” Holly pecked her on the cheek.

 

 

 

 


	57. breathin (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just keep on breathin’  
> -Sharky and Holly just might work things out...eventually

“Your girlfriend’s refusing to eat anything, Holly. I’m done piling up plates outside her door.” Yellow Pearl crossed her arms and tapped her foot as if she was irritated by the inconvenience of having to pretend to like other people. BP pressed her arm firmly, “We’re just a bit worried. It’s been nearly a week since you’ve arrived, and she hasn’t come out since.” 

Holly blinked hard enough for some sleep to fall out of her eyes. She yawned, scratched the mess on her head. Formerly fancy  conical buns appeared as if they’d been run through by a quantum storm. And judging by the drool on her tee shirt and the large ice cream stain on her sweatpants, the Pearls had interrupted her first good nights’ sleep in a while. 

“Um...thanks. I’m gonna go back to sleep now.” Holly closed the door slowly, before leaping back into bed. 

Jay turned towards her, yawning, “You’re gonna have to address it eventually, Holls.”

”Eventually, as in after I get another two hours of sleep.” 

“Eventually as in you’re jeapordizing your relationship because you’re not sure if you want to be serious about her?”

”I’m not doing this right now.”

Jay rolled out of bed before yanking on some slippers and heading towards the door. 

“Where are _you_ going?”

”I don’t know, if you’re not sure you want to be serious about Sharky, what makes you serious about me?” 

“Of course I am - _you’re_ different. _You_ actually express your emotions, and talk, and-“

“Like she doesn’t? We communicate differently, Holly, and if let that surpass how much you care about someone, why try to be with them in the first place?” 

She closed the door behind her.  Holly rolled over, pretending to smother herself in the pillows.

_Remarkably soft. If I ever did get smothered, I’d want it to be with these. But I can’t be smothered with 1600 count palosian down just yet. Apparently I need to appease one of my partners by trying to connect to another? Emotions aren’t my thing. Or Sharky’s. It was so much easier when all we did was have sex all the time. Like now I feel bad pretending to not care. Must be hormones or something. I know I’m incapable of feeling otherwise._

Holly groaned, rolling onto the floor. _Cold tile felt so reassuring. Like all my problems could melt away. Stars, I miss liquor._

She crawled towards the door, before sitting up to scootch outside Sharky’s door, refusing to actually walk. 

“I don’t care if you starve. You’re not hurting anyone but yourself.”  Holly faced the opposite direction, crossing her arms as if she were the one sulking. 

No response. Silence followed for a few minutes, until she heard someone plop down on the other side of the door. 

“Then why are you the one bringing it up?” 

“I’m bringing it up cause YP has been riding my ass all week about it, and if I have to hear her bougie behind complain one more time...and feel her nostrils sucking up my precious air...and I swear-“

The air was being inhaled as if it was vacuumed around her. O shit, o shit, o shit. 

“Believe me Holly, the feeling is mutual.” Yellow Pearl stopped a few feet away from her. 

“Do you know what it feels like to be bodyslammed and pinned down by a pregnant woman?” Holly slitted her eyes.

”I’m afraid not, I’ve never been bodyslammed by anyone four times my weight.”

”I’m only twice your weight and you know it!” Holly hissed, lunging at YP before she felt someone hold her back. 

YP sashayed away, while Holly was dragged into Sharky’s room. 

 


	58. back to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this what feeling feels like?

“You know you’ve got no business provoking her.”

“If she doesn’t see a need to attempt to be hospitable, I don’t see one to be easy to please.”

”You’re never easy to please, Holly. That’s part of the problem.”

”As I’m sure you’re aware, the suggestion box is open twenty four hours.” Holly smirked, forgetting the immense amount of mixed berry ice cream stains splattered across her sweatpants and tee shirt.

No witty comeback. No overly sarcastic eye rolling. _Nothing_. 

“So since we’re not on talking terms, I’m going to assume that I’ve been a shitty girlfriend, and for that, I’m sorry.”

”You’ve been your usual level of shittiness, Holls. I’ve been the shitty one for once.”

”You had me at I’m not being the dick. What makes you feel like this is your fault?” Holly gestured, plopping down on the carpet. 

“Before we knew, like _knew_ knew, we were all sex, all the time, and it was fun. But looking back, that was irresponsible. What is wrong with me? That I would endanger you and Junior and-“

”We didn’t _know_ know, then. And since we _know_ know now, we just have to be less kinky and more careful.”

”I dunno, Holls, I can’t make any promises.” Sharks smirked, before pecking Holly on the cheek. 

“So...we’re good?”

”Oh, we’re good. I dunno about Jay, though.”

”She got triggered that I wasn’t trying hard enough with you.”

”It’s not a you thing, it’s a me not communicating things thing.”

”Wanna room with us? Us as in when I can track down Jay and un ruin things?”

”Holly, what is it with you and grammar today?”

”I mean, I’m kind of a mess anyways, so grammar’s the last thing on my mind.”

”And what’s the first?” Sharky cocked a grin.

”Breakfast, but _then_ we can find Jay.”

” _Holly_ ,”

”I was _kidding_....Mostly.”


	59. everybody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstreet's back alright~ *proceeds to death drop*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u know it had to b done

Every hall within the Pearls’ quarters was empty. The only sound to be hard was the constant grumbling of Holly’s tummy. 

“We’re never going to find her if we can’t hear anything.”

”We’re hungry, and that’s two to one. Can we _pleeeeeeeease_  find her after we eat?”

”Fine,” Sharky sighed, before walking to the entryway in which the Diamonds had first introduced them to their less than hospitable hosts. 

Laughter rang throughout the corridor, and to their surprise, Jay sat on the edge of a saucer, snacking on whatever pastry had been prepared that day.

”Holly, you look...like you haven’t eaten in ages, we have coffee, tea, cereal and pastries and I’m sure we can find alternatives if you’re not interested in any of those options.” Blue began. 

“Good morning, my Diamond,” Holly curtsied, forgetting she’d been wearing sweat pants stained with three different flavors of  ice cream. She gestured for Sharky to do the same. 

“There’s no need for such formalities, Holly, since this isn’t technically part of your job description. I do hope that these next few months bring us closer to you all.” Blue smiled

“Yes, Jay was telling us all about how things have gone at the Zoo. Quality entertainment.” Yellow began.

Holly’s eyes widened in complete panic, fearing Jay had discussed the details of every sexual encounter that’s occurred since she’d been turned. 

“Yes, record rates of fertility and human happiness, and increased employee morale by seventy percent.” Blue continued. 

“Good form,” Yellow smiled for a second, before finishing her coffee and placing her mug in the sink. 

Holly beamed with fangirlish glee, squealing excitedly internally of course, before climbing into Blue’s palm and being lifted onto the kitchen’s island. 

“I’ll be off then, I have prospects to interview for assistants during pre and post natal processes.”

Blue winced internally, smiling back at Yellow, before offering Sharky and Holly croissants. 

That feeling, that instant in which her heart ached momentarily, would be the first of many to come.

 


	60. girls to the front

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff that will eventually connect to later plot stuff. not necessary unless you want introductions to characters that will eventually be important.

The line lasted nearly a fourth of a mile long, and it cascaded down the street-like platforms of Homeworld. Fully sized Gems, those whose height matched that of the Diamonds and Delly, stood single file for what seemed like forever.

The majority were unqualified, itching for an opportunity to interact with their celebrity-like leaders and snag a piece of that star power back to their ships or stations. 

“Your resume, please, Miss...?” Yellow began, sliding her reading glasses down her nose. 

The gem across from her hadn’t registered the fact that she was being spoken to, and her eyes remained widened in combination of fear and admiration. 

“This is the part where you tell me your name and hand me your resume, _Miss_...”

”I am so sorry, I can’t believe I made it past the preliminary rounds and that _you’re_ actually talking to _me_ , it’s just- I’m sorry, I’m Tatiana, but you can call me Tati or whatever you see fit, my Diamond.” she curtsied from in her seat. 

She whisked a bright pink curl behind her ear smiling awkwardly. “As you can see from my resumé, I really have a passion for taking care of others, I’m a Morganite, so I’m luc— i mean, blessed to have received the opportunity to choose my own destiny in ways that other Gems have not. After I finished my training, I-“

”I assure you, I can read.” Yellow smiled, as if she’d been annoyed already. 

“Sorr- Apologies, My Diamond.” she hung her head lower. 

”That will be all.” Yellow placed her resume on top of one of the numerous piles scattered across her desk as the Morganite scurried outside.

———

“When I call your name, please step forward.” Yellow began, reading off her list before reaching the her final choice. “Morganite T4T1, please join the rest of the accepted applicants.”

The Sphene beside her had to pinch her arm to being her back to reality. She squealed before scurrying towards the end of the line. 

“Young lady, if you ever make that noise again, I might just reconsider my decision.” Yellow clicked her pen closed, leading the line towards a pod. The ladies before her entered before their Diamond, Tatiana again struggling to keep up in sixty foot heels.

”I was so sure I failed miserably, since I’m such an oversharer,” Tati remarked upon entry. 

“I’ve been married to one for nearly twenty thousand years, and if I haven’t gotten used to it by now, I don’t think I ever would have.” Yellow said before heading to the front of the vehicle. 

Tati giggled, snorting once before covering her face in absolute embarrassment, as all the other accepted Gems looked directly at her. 

Yellow turned back, and smirked, catching Tati’s eyes before conferring with the pilot and closing the barrier between the two sections of the carrier. 

“This is the most talkative I’ve ever seen you be with them.” Orange remarked, turning down the airway communication device. 

“I’m making an effort to be less of a tyrant, Orange, I would appreciate your support in such a matter.”

Orange’s eyes formed slits, as she began taking off.

_”Whatever you say, My Diamond,”_


	61. i feel it coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could things with the interns be more heated than they seem?

“Which part of ‘briefing’ included nonsensical foolishness? It wasn’t on my itinerary, but since Larimar B0B81 and Diopside D8E-D3E mustn’t be interrupted, feel free to continue—we’ll wait.” Yellow slid into her hovering-spinning chair inside the board room. 

”Apologies, your Luminousity,” they droned simultaneously, taking a seat

”All is forgiven, though I’d have expected Tree Agate to be less lenient on office gossip. Since you two are feeling rather chatty  this morning, why don’t you two start us off?” Bobbi and Dee-Dee rose again, presenting their current data and projected results.

——————

Like clockwork, the next set of groups went on and on and on. “That Morganite from the original selection day had done exceptionally well,” Yellow thought to herself. “Perhaps she’d be ready for further responsibility.”

”Thank you ladies. Iolites GR3T4 and 0LG4, I’m looking for more pronounced results next time—but keep up the good work. Those of you who’ve assisted in her Lustrousness’ maternity care, I am incredibly impressed with the lot of you, and you are dismissed. Those of you that are assisting me on other fronts, please remain seated.”

Those who presented earliest flurried out of the room filled with unhushed whisper-shouting ‘Do you think she’s going to shatter them?’ one squealed.

‘I heard she’s going to turn them all into lesbians,’ the Unakite UM8BR4 suggested.

‘I think we’ve all gotten bit gayer since we’ve arrived,’ the Vesuvianite with the _gorgeous_ tits laughed—the one who could’ve easily been an adult actress, or a regular actress or something, like why would someone as attractive as _her_ be _here_?

‘By ‘we all’ do you mean you? She’s our Diamond for fuck’s sake, V, why must you always sexualize everything? You must want to be shattered, disrespecting her Luminousness’ great name like that!’ the significantly older Amber fussed. 

‘I can’t help it, I see a woman in a pantsuit and boots and it’s like ‘step on me, mommi’

” _Well_ , I’ll certainly keep that in mind when selecting my attire,” Yellow smirked in her typical sword-wielding-lesbian-lord-esque fashion, shooing them out and shutting the door behind them. 

“Tati, Twins, Celie, you four make up the best and brightest young minds the Empire has to offer.” Yellow began.  If you wish, in addition to your current duties, my fellow Diamonds and I would love the opportunity to mentor and prepare you for whatever your futures hold. Please let me know open are you all to the idea within the next few weeks at the latest—this is going to be intense and immensely time-consuming, so don’t rush your decision.” 

All four hands raised in excitement, eager to bask in the radiance of their leaders. 

“I’m interested in knowing your preferences, in terms of Diamonds—twins, you two first?”

”I believe I speak for both of us, when I say how much of an honor it’d be to learn from White Diamond,” Greta said, barely containing her squeals of excitement. 

“Celie?”

”I would be most excited to have the opportunity to be mentored by her Lustrousness!”

Yellow hadn’t expected to be chosen at all. If the Authority was a popularity contest, Blue had a landslide victory. In badassery, White had them both beat. 

“Tati?”

” _You_ , your Luminousness, that is, if you’ll have me?”

There was something resembling pride—not in a sinful way, necessarily. But a surprised-someone-actually-likes-me, socially awkward happiness that left a warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart. 

Such feelings are incredibly dangerous, you know. ‘Happiness’ and ‘warmth’ and whatnot consume all in sight, tugging heartstrings and sanity every which way. Perhaps if she hadn’t been fooled at these first few instances of outside emotion, she could’ve predicted the predicaments yet to come.

But what do I know? I’m only a narrator.

 

 


	62. cross your mind

“So, Tati,” the Vesuvianite smirked, sipping on her chartreuse alcoholic beverage. “Are you gay for her too?”

”Me? Gay? For _who_?” Tati practically jumped straight out of her seat.

”Yellow, _duh_. She’s so hot, like I get a heat stroke just thinking about her. Plus, she totally flirted with me last night. She was all ‘Yass bbg I’d totally step on you.’ and I was all ‘Mmm mommi—“ V gestured, poutily before being cut off.

”You were not!” Umbra smacked her hand playfully. “You said you’re gay for any woman in a pantsuit and boots, and she said she’d keep that in mind. She was _joking_. Besides, you’re gay for _everyone_.”

” _You’re_ not everyone,” V pecked her partner’s cheek. 

“Since when has _this_ been a thing?” Tati pointed back and forth at them. 

“Don’t change the subject. Do you think she’s hot or not?”

”Blue’s the more attractive one to me,” Umbra mentioned, casually.

”You’re just saying that ‘cause you like girls with big boobs.”

”It’s a good thing you have them then, isn’t it?”

”Anyways, do you or do you not find her attractive? There’s no way out of answering the question.”

”I’m not doing it, V.”

”C’mon, Tati, don’t be such a prude.”

”Yeah _Tatiiii_!” another one of the interns seated far away, shouted.

”Since you all wouldn’t leave me alone—yes she’s hot, okay? And those boots are everything, especially in that lemony color and that one time she let her hair down last week,  that alone was magical, and I am well aware that her ass looks amazing at all times—“ Tati rambled, not noticing all the warning signs Umbra and V were sending her.

“...and every time she’s around I’m like ‘yas mami, top meeeeee!’ but like—“ 

Umbra’s palm smacked her flat in the face. 

“She’s right behind me, _isn’t_ she?”  Tati groaned, burying her head in her arms.

Yellow, who had just turned the corner, backed away. 

“I think you’re gonna need something a little stronger than that soda.” Umbra broke the silence.

”Ya think? I totally blew it with Yellow.”  Tati whined, taking a long swig of V’s beverage. 

“It’s not like you had much of a chance, anyways. She’s like ten thousand years older than you, she’s married, and she’s having a kid. Not a chance.”

”I-I should prolly go and apologize.” Tati hopped up, grabbing V’s glass to-go. She scurried down the hall. 

“ _Not a chance_ ,”

 


End file.
